An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ....... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Chinese Newspaper Falls For 'Onion' Article Naming Kim Jong Un Sexiest Man Alive

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/27/chinese-newspaper-falls-for-onion-article_n_2196882.html

gaijinmark wrote:

'No ....... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Feeling relieved as usual Im a natural brunette.

bmwracer wrote:

Chinese Newspaper Falls For 'Onion' Article Naming Kim Jong Un Sexiest Man Alive

Hope something bad doesnt come of it.

But it was seriously funny.
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Eve wrote:

Hope something bad doesnt come of it.

I don't think it did... It just shows how gullible some people/countries are.

gaijinmark wrote:

I was at a garage sale today (nothing else to do) and some guy was wearing a t-shirt that said, "I'm right 97% of the time. The other 4%, who cares?"

i hve that tshirt for the same reason he does lol it turns some heads \
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Apologies if this is known already. I laughed anyway...

Lady went into animal hospital carrying a very limp duck.
showd Vet and asked him to check her little pet. He won't move or eat Dr. Please help me.

Dr. checked with stethescope and said

Madam..your duck is dead.

Woman..Oh No Dr. Please do some tests and find out what is wrong.

Dr. left and came back in with a large black Labrador retriever. Dog carefully sniffed at the duck from beak to feet and sadly looked at Vet and left the room.

Dr. Madam Im afraid yourduck is dead.

Woman Oh please Dr. can't you do anything.

Dr. leaves, comes back in with a large black cat. Cat hops up on gurney and carefully sniffed the duck from beak to feet and sadly miows and runs out.

Dr. Madam I'm very sorry but your duck is definitely dead.

Dr goes to desk and hands woman his bill.

She is shocked and saysWhy are you chargingme $150 to tellme my duck is dead.

Dr. Madam I told you your duck was dead but you made me go and make tests. I would have chargedyou fifty dollars but now...


With the Lab report and the Catscan it costs a lot more.

Very cute.

@GM- Told your blonde joke a few times already.
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A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties.

The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties. I need water!�h

"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."

"Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!"

"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, �gIt does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me, or that you hate me, threaten my life, and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need. Go in peace."

Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!�h

gaijinmark wrote:

A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties. The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?" The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5." The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties. I need water!�h "Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5." "Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!" "Okay," said the little old Jewish man, �gIt does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me, or that you hate me, threaten my life, and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need. Go in peace." Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!�h

Now that joke was a beautiful thing.
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