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Michi



Joined: 10 Dec 2001
Posts: 3308
Location: cloud 9
Country: Malaysia

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 4:59 pm    Post subject: Jokes/Humor Thread Reply with quote Back to top

just wanna share this with u ppl~!! if u have any jokes. .. pls post here^^

A bus full of ugly people die in a wreck, so they all leave their bodies and go to heaven. As they stand in line to enter Heaven, God decides to grant each of them one wish because he felt sorry for them for being so ugly all their lives.

SO the first person says "I want to be beautiful."
SO God made it happen. The second person says the same thing, so God grants that too.

THis continues throughout the whole line. Each person wishes to be made beautiful, and God grants it. Then God notices a guy at the end of the line that is laughing like a maniac. As each person turn to be pretty, he keeps laughing, and he laughs harder and harder each time.

When that man finally gets to the front of the line, God asks him what his wish is.
The man, still laughing, looks up to God and says, " I wish they were all ugly again"
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Uchiha Potato
Guest






PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 5:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Jokes Reply with quote Back to top

Michi wrote:
just wanna share this with u ppl~!! if u have any jokes. .. pls post here^^

A bus full of ugly people die in a wreck, so they all leave their bodies and go to heaven. As they stand in line to enter Heaven, God decides to grant each of them one wish because he felt sorry for them for being so ugly all their lives.

SO the first person says "I want to be beautiful."
SO God made it happen. The second person says the same thing, so God grants that too.

THis continues throughout the whole line. Each person wishes to be made beautiful, and God grants it. Then God notices a guy at the end of the line that is laughing like a maniac. As each person turn to be pretty, he keeps laughing, and he laughs harder and harder each time.

When that man finally gets to the front of the line, God asks him what his wish is.
The man, still laughing, looks up to God and says, " I wish they were all ugly again"


Rolly
my question is how can someone as sinister as that get to heaven? Wink
great joke Michi!
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Michi



Joined: 10 Dec 2001
Posts: 3308
Location: cloud 9
Country: Malaysia

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 5:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Wink
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Ren



Joined: 24 May 2003
Posts: 597
Location: Stockton, CA
Country: United States

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Good one Michi but u know that dude would probably got his butt kick by all those folks he screwed. Wink
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atheon



Joined: 19 Sep 2003
Posts: 558
Location: Malaysia
Country: Malaysia

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

lol

That guy was so mean.
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juliana_phang



Joined: 14 Dec 2001
Posts: 2416
Location: Le-Ciel, 1F,No.9 IS-Building, 1-13-6, Ebisu, Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan 150-0013

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

lolZ~
exactly like garfield
saw this car sticker - god if u cant make me thin, make my friends fat then
lolZ~
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Michi



Joined: 10 Dec 2001
Posts: 3308
Location: cloud 9
Country: Malaysia

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 5:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

god if u cant make me thin, make my friends fat then

so true!!!! hehe
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arashinokoto



Joined: 25 May 2003
Posts: 2106
Location: singapore
Country: Singapore

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

funnie.. michi.. haha.. that guy is really clever though.. Mr Green

btw, ren.. that is a beautiful siggy..
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juliana_phang



Joined: 14 Dec 2001
Posts: 2416
Location: Le-Ciel, 1F,No.9 IS-Building, 1-13-6, Ebisu, Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan 150-0013

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

hey arashi
who is that in ur avatar
a guy from news?
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arashinokoto



Joined: 25 May 2003
Posts: 2106
Location: singapore
Country: Singapore

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

juliana_phang wrote:
hey arashi
who is that in ur avatar
a guy from news?


it's tsukamoto takashi.. really kakkoii right.. he acted in dramas like stand up!, kisarazu cat's eye, and the now showing manhattan love story.. Mr Green
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ahochaude



Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Posts: 10291
Location: Matsuhama-cho, Ashiya-shi, Hyogo-ken, Japan
Country: United States

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 2:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I thought this was fun. Some of you out there may too.

"Hell Test" -how corrupt are you?????!! Twisted

http://www.madblast.com/funflash/swf/HellTest.swf

(I found out that I was pretty corrupt. -As if I didn't already know!!)


Warning!!!!!!


This "test" is in no way a religious statement. I know that members in this forum are of different religions which is why, if you would find this offensive, please DO NOT click on the link. Furthermore, this link contains explicit WORDS (not pictures), so please, if you are easy to offend, once again, DO NOT clink on the link. I accept no responsiblity for those who find it offensive. If you did, it's your fault for not reading the warning.

For those who will proceed, Enjoy!


Last edited by ahochaude on Sat Nov 15, 2003 2:50 am; edited 2 times in total
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Michi



Joined: 10 Dec 2001
Posts: 3308
Location: cloud 9
Country: Malaysia

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 2:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

broken link~
i cant open the page Shake Head
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ahochaude



Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Posts: 10291
Location: Matsuhama-cho, Ashiya-shi, Hyogo-ken, Japan
Country: United States

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 2:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Michi wrote:
broken link~
i cant open the page Shake Head


Sorry, didn't realize the previous link provided was broken.

I removed it and changed it to a new one.

Try it now.
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lovelessemotion



Joined: 07 Apr 2002
Posts: 2495
Location: Wales
Country: Wales

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

it works now...Thumbsup i'm taking the test! Devil nyah
ok i took it.... but i dun wanna post my score.... but i'm on the good side!
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arashinokoto



Joined: 25 May 2003
Posts: 2106
Location: singapore
Country: Singapore

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 10:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

this test is meaningless for me.. i mean, i'm 15 and i obviously haven't done 99.9% of the stuff mentioned.. Sweat
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UWFShooter



Joined: 16 Jan 2002
Posts: 436
Location: New York F***in City!!!
Country: United States

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 11:09 am    Post subject: When campaigning, be careful about the message. Reply with quote Back to top

What a politician usually says in his/her campaign manifesto:

>To all citizens: with your vote Ifll be able to govern and break
with this series of useless governments which destroyed
>your ultimate wishes. Ifll be able to finish off
corruption, create jobs and put daily bread
>in your mouths, with the firm conviction that
work is the road to social peace, as
>it is the best way to build a
just and sovereign nation, as our Country for us should be our
>utmost fortune.
Our government will dedicate itself to solve the key issues.
>As far as the Health sector goes, I definitely shall
rebuild it, granting popular plans so as to
>exterminate those people who do not want to
see a popular health system and want to grant it only to those who can
>pay. Thus, we will able to establish a unique system,
with the same service quality both for the poor and
>for the rich.
I shall combat the wave of crimes and
>Ifll try to be fair. I shall put security
in the hands of competent personnel who shall do their job
>at my disposition, so as to annihilate
the chaos which some pretend to sow, putting on trial
>all those who attempt to break
the moral norms and the justice of
>the laws, which I shall impose for the benefit
of the working people, and not for the benefit
>of a few. Justice shall be inclined toward
social peace and honesty, and not for
>the courtfs own benefit and of this
corrupt system. I want an honest government, a
>government which, with your votes, shall be the government
of all, for the peoplefs benefit, a government
>which everyone deserves.
I shall not only govern for justice and security, also
>education will be a key theme to be solved.
We shall build an appropriate educational system, because
>ignorance is the mother of power which
leaders use on their favor. Culture
>shall sprout from my hands to drive
away definitely all those who pretend to send
>all people into slavery and oppression.
Thatfs why, when you vote, remember:
>Vote for me, Kim Son-gook, and I shall
break the body politic that will, if unchecked,
>screw you in the future.

What he/she really means:
Read only the lines tagged with an ">". What do you see?
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atheon



Joined: 19 Sep 2003
Posts: 558
Location: Malaysia
Country: Malaysia

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 12:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

arashinokoto wrote:
this test is meaningless for me.. i mean, i'm 15 and i obviously haven't done 99.9% of the stuff mentioned.. Sweat


Me too......i think i'll never get more than 10 points after 10 yrs too...... Sweat
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juliana_phang



Joined: 14 Dec 2001
Posts: 2416
Location: Le-Ciel, 1F,No.9 IS-Building, 1-13-6, Ebisu, Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan 150-0013

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 12:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

i clicked no all the way for the drug n sex questions...
Sweat
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Golgo_13



Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 206
Location: Los Angeles, USA
Country: United States

PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2003 6:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

88 Ways to Know If You're Chinese

1. You look like you are 18.
2. You like to eat chicken feet.
3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.
5. You sing karaoke.
6. Your house is covered with tile.
7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.
8. Your stove is covered with aluminium foil.
9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control.
10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
17. You love to use coupons.
18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol.
19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
20. You take showers at night.
21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male.
24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.
27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the paper.
29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
30. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. That's why you need the vinyl tablecloth.
32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
34. You have never used your dishwasher.
35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
38. You have a piano in your living room.
39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
41. You hate to waste food.
42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always dried and include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.
47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
49. The dash board of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys.
50. You don't use measuring cups.
51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
53. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling information (*69) costs 50 cents.
54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.
56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.
59. Shaolin actually mean something to you.
60. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods due to yeet hay.
65. You know what yeet hay is.
66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10 feet apart.
67. You use a face cloth.
68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places.
69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewellery or electronics.
70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.
71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
73. You know what moon cakes are.
74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
76. You iron your own shirts.
77. You play a musical instrument.
78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.
81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
82. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighbourhood.
84. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends
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Golgo_13



Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 206
Location: Los Angeles, USA
Country: United States

PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2003 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Is God black or white?
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?" After thinking a moment, his mother responds, Well, God is both male and female."
This confuses the little boy so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers anyway, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Is God Michael Jackson?"
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