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kenjilina



Joined: 28 Jun 2005
Posts: 3389
Location: peoples democratic republic of yorkshire
Country: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

a man goes to the docs with a hearing problem.
when asked to describe his symptoms he replies 'homer is a fat b****** and marge has blue hair'.
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Eve



Joined: 20 Jul 2004
Posts: 12702
Location: USA
Country: United States

PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top


IRISH BLONDE
An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm 'completely nude'.
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES, YES, I WON, I WON!'
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'
The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'


MORAL OF THE STORY
Not all Irish are stupid..
Not all blondes are dumb,
But all men are men.














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Anime Dad



Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Posts: 11340
Location: オーストラリア
Country: Australia

PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

^ rofl rofl hehe
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Eve



Joined: 20 Jul 2004
Posts: 12702
Location: USA
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Anime Dad wrote:
^ rofl rofl hehe


I felt it was apropos. Wink

hehe
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Wynter



Joined: 23 Jul 2006
Posts: 19317
Location: Musa's Pocket
Country: Canada

PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

lol Awesome.
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sadacori



Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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Location: With some Angry Birds & green piggies, 熊ちゃん, & J-YU
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Maybe all of us ladies should do that to get what we want. Mr Green
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Anime Dad



Joined: 19 Jun 2006
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Location: オーストラリア
Country: Australia

PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

sadacori wrote:
Maybe all of us ladies should do that to get what we want. Mr Green


Don't let me stop you! Naughty
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sadacori



Joined: 31 Mar 2007
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Location: With some Angry Birds & green piggies, 熊ちゃん, & J-YU
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Anime Dad wrote:


Don't let me stop you! Naughty


Haha, me doing something like that is perfect for this thread! Bleah
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bmwracer



Joined: 07 Jul 2003
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Location: Juri-chan's speed dial
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I guess the Irish Blonde was good-looking, huh? Beaten

rofl
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suzzy



Joined: 07 Apr 2007
Posts: 5060
Location: where the sun never stop shining

PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 1:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

hehe hehe Nice one rofl rofl
I'm guessing looks beat brains in this one
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Eve



Joined: 20 Jul 2004
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Location: USA
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

bmwracer wrote:
I guess the Irish Blonde was good-looking, huh? Beaten

rofl



Would she have to be? hehe

suzzy wrote:
hehe hehe Nice one rofl rofl
I'm guessing looks beat brains in this one


Beauty and brains. Smile

Took brains to think that stunt up.

[/b]
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bmwracer



Joined: 07 Jul 2003
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Location: Juri-chan's speed dial
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Eve wrote:
Would she have to be?

It's the only way it would've worked. Mr Green
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Eve



Joined: 20 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

bmwracer wrote:

It's the only way it would've worked. Mr Green


Are you claiming all men are as discerning as you? Wink

The very idea....rofl

Mind you, it wouldnt hurt! Victory! Peace!
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suzzy



Joined: 07 Apr 2007
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Location: where the sun never stop shining

PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Eve wrote:


Beauty and brains. Smile

Took brains to think that stunt up.

[/b]
you are right Mr Green
i should take her went i go Vegas Mr Green
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Eve



Joined: 20 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

suzzy wrote:
you are right Mr Green
i should take her went i go Vegas Mr Green


She could be your lucky charm! Wink
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suzzy



Joined: 07 Apr 2007
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Location: where the sun never stop shining

PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 3:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Eve wrote:


She could be your lucky charm! Wink
Yup Thumbsup
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ralphm1999



Joined: 17 Aug 2003
Posts: 1547


PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Actual dialoge of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"


"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"


"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."


"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
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gaijinmark



Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 9301

Country: Finland

PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

^ Trust me ralph, I feel his pain. Many is the time I've been tempted to tell a customer, "Why don't you do us all a favor and contact your local cable provider??" Beat You
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gaijinmark



Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 9301

Country: Finland

PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..

She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.' What are you?

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
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Tu_triky



Joined: 15 Jun 2004
Posts: 46173
Location: Los Skandolous, California
Country: United States

PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

gaijinmark wrote:
An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..

She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.' What are you?

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.


www.instantrimshot.com
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