Love/Relationship/Potential Relationship Advice

[ahochaude]

teru teru bozu wrote:

i have a 3 years wonderful boyfriend even though i don't love him at the first place.6 months ago, i met with the guy of my dream...and now i think i'm crazy because falling i love with him too.what will i do?

First of all, if you don't love your boyfriend, why are you still with him? And don't tell me 'cause it's the "time factor" that influenced your decision/feelings about it. Maybe you did (love him) at ONE time, but you don't anymore. That alone would hurt him already had he found out about it.

If you don't love your boyfriend, like you mentioned above, go with the "new" guy. If that's the "guy of your dreams", then go for that 2nd guy. Don't sell yourself short. And don't be afraid of change. After all, you did mention that you don't love him (your current boyfriend) anymore, and that the guy you just met is the "guy of your dreams".
Warii kedo, the first guy (your current boyfriend) seems as only a "ball and chain" to you in this particular situation.
After all, even though you've been with your boyfriend for 3 years, you don't love him like you said right? He may be "wonderful", but perhaps he's not what you're really looking for.
What I've learned in my life is to let people go if they don't "suit your needs." Don't think about other people too much or you'll run yourself short on your own happiness/success. But do it with sensitivity though (if you're gonna "dump" your boyfriend). Don't kill him, just break him loose. Do it gentley (there's a word I never thought I'd type in this forum). Just tell him that it's not working out and that you need "space to discover yourself and what you really want" (women tell me that all the time). Tell him sorry, you still care about him but not in that way anymore. But "you'll always be a friend to him". (Ha! Another "woman" line!)
It WILL suck for him (and perhaps for you as well) but remember that nothing is forever. Remember that, alright? All things come to an end at one time or another. Good or bad. Just don't short yourself of the "pie of life".
Life is too short. Don't sell yourself out on all of the various opportunities out there.

(If you were married, I'd say different and "slap" you silly though. As you shouldn't make commitments (let alone lifetime ones) knowing you're gonna wuss out/or not be serious about it)

[ahochaude]

So what will you do, Ter-bo?!

[teru teru bozu]

i'm sooo confused!i met with the 2nd guy today and told him that we shouldn't meet anymore..and now i'm having a great headache...
My parent fond of my boyfriend already and he's so determine to marry me!!maybe i still can accept him and who know that he might makes me happy? the 2nd guy...i'm gonna miss him alot.He'll never be forgotten.Rite now i juz wanna go on with my life i guess?

[Michi]

wow
thats hard
uhmm
but does the guy of ur dream love u too?

[ahochaude]

teru teru bozu wrote:

i'm sooo confused!i met with the 2nd guy today and told him that we shouldn't meet anymore..and now i'm having a great headache... My parent fond of my boyfriend already and he's so determine to marry me!!maybe i still can accept him and who know that he might makes me happy? the 2nd guy...i'm gonna miss him alot.He'll never be forgotten.Rite now i juz wanna go on with my life i guess?

Seems as though before you "change" anyone elses' life, you have to get your head straight.

Are you really sure you want to marry someone who you don't love? Yeah, maybe he'll make you happy........one day. But how?? If you don't love him and all, I mean. $$$$$ gonna do it? If so, you'll have the $$$$, but you'll still be lacking in which (presumably love) you really want. Your "dream guy" seems to have this quality (for now). Test it out.


(How old are you anyway?)

[teru teru bozu]

ya...soo much

[ahochaude]

teru teru bozu wrote:

ya...soo much

Nani?

Wake wakaran

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Michi]

u mean, he loves u so much?

[DrGonzo]

Ahochaude is right I think. I broke with my gf three months ago because we hadn't loved each other any more so it was a good decision. The "time factor" should not be the reason why you should stay together. Me and my gf were 6 years and 9 months together (this b**ch had her next bf two weeks later,.... ). In the first time it's hard but you feel better day for day. And if the other ist the boy of your dreams.....

[Bsalez]

Just a point ne...Say u want buy a car u should at least find more detail about the car u want to buy...Like price,safety and stuffs...After u sure u know all da details...Like u already have the money to buy / 60% sure then u come to the store and try but still u don't buy the car u try it first...After u 100% sure then u buy the car..

Same with relationships....I knowit is so bias between you think u love someone or just a slight emotion or more extremly just a cheap shot..ne
but..I see alot ppl who before I say I love u I like u I accept u just the way u are and all dat shit...one day come to you said I already change....We don't get along.....I fall in love with other guy..Come on man

Don't u really know the person u love like his personality n stuff like his/her loyalty love and all da stuff needed in one good relationship...befor u throw urself into a relationship with him/her....

Look at ppl these days divorce is everywhere in the name of all those unreasonable reason which could be avoided if u really be careful earlier at da relationship.....Can't u imagine if u already have children in da relationship and in the name of all da shitty reason da child only have one parent Kawai so na minna

I have a friend...yep she is a girl married at 24...have 3 son...A really good housewive but after 15 years married Da husband Flee...ne It is easy to find a good man at year 20 but at 39 she definetly don't have any more chance right...

It just me point k

[KouSeiya315]

teru teru bozu wrote:

i have a 3 years wonderful boyfriend even though i don't love him at the first place.6 months ago, i met with the guy of my dream...and now i think i'm crazy because falling i love with him too.what will i do?

Maybe this thread shouldn't be referred to as being in love with 2 people; you obviously don't love the long-term boyfriend

This would be dragging your boyfriend along, which is NOT cool. If you don't love him, let him go, whether you get with the new guy or not. You're just giving him more time with you to be attached, making a breakup harder. This way, you won't be just cheating on him (to me, cheating is just LOW). I say, if you don't love someone, have the courage to break up with them before things get sticky. It's not fair to keep a person around and not break up with them when you don't even love them. It's a waste of their time and heart. Don't keep him around just for convenience, because that's what's comfortable, or out of fear of hurting him. It's not fair to him, and the longer you are with him, the harder it will be to separate.

I feel it's better to break up before you decide to or "accidentally" cheat. If you break up with someone because of personal reasons or what-not, fine, it's a little easier to understand. It's way better than breaking up with someone due to cheating on them......it just makes them feel worse and hurts them (if they find out about it )

[Tekanan]

ahochaude wrote:

It's possible. I'm 22 and my wife is 34 (Japanese as I assume Fans91 "Love interest" is). .

i don't think u can see this,but i'm doing a "kowtow" now...

=D


**j/k**

[Precious Bamboo]

What's a kowtow?

I agree to take things slowly and be yourself, but watch out because you're 17 so if you two did anything serious and an accident happened I think it would be illegal or something.

[Fans91]

how should i try to ask her out without letting this becoming expose to others such as friends/family/rumors?

[ahochaude]

Fans91 wrote:

how should i try to ask her out without letting this becoming expose to others such as friends/family/rumors?

If you ask her out, that is just a risk you'll have to be willing to take. Not to mention being prepared for it when it does arise.

You can try to be a discreet as possible, but no guarantees that it won't surface.

Just be yourself. If she don't want to hook up with you for who you are, then leave it at that. Better than pretending to be someone you're not.

[sid]

well .. just got back from a superbowl party and my gf gives me call ..

she tutors people in Japanese and other subjects. She just informed me that she thinks some tutoree is gonna ask her out. She said she is totally afraid and if this guy asks her out, she is gonna stop giving tutoring lessons. Hope it all works out for her.









/end joke.

[barooboodoo]

wait a sec... someone actually MARRIED aho?? what!? j/k j/k
seems like everyone's advice has been pretty good up until now but here's something you should probably think about before making any sort of move...
To me it seems like you're very nervous around this person and maybe you should think about if you would be nervous around a person you really like (and who likes you hopefully eh?) or if you should be at ease, just something to think about.
W0W Sid talk about a coincidence eh? watch yourself you don't want her falling for any "younger man" out there eh?

[nagaioyasumi]

Precious Bamboo wrote:

What's a kowtow?

It's means "to bow down" in Cantonese (or so I suppose this is what Tekanan meant).

Whoa! Ahochaude should be your living example then, Fans91!

If you really like her, then you shouldn't be so worried about being exposed, there are somethings that you must sacrifice in the name of love ne?!

Aiiy~ that aged-old cliche yo! U___________U"

Anyway, just believe in yourself, if it's meant to be, it'll work out. You're 17, don't make your life so complicated.

[ahochaude]

barooboodoo wrote:

wait a sec... someone actually MARRIED aho?? what!? j/k j/k

Sorry, I forgot to put up the " around "wife".

Not tied down YET. I was just using the word as a reference term.

But it does feel like I'm tied down with a ball and chain already......

I'm staying unmarried because I'm waiting for Rina to say "yes" first.

[MixxDreamer]

ahochaude wrote:

I'm staying unmarried because I'm waiting for Rina to say "yes" first.

thats like going back to the same situation with fan, like how are u gonna talk to this person/rina ?