Anime Dad wrote:

This isn't a joke, my brother swears it happened when he was on jury duty. Can't remember exact details, but a witness was called who was German and who had very poor English. The judge asked if the lawyer had arranged an interpreter, which he hadn't. Eventually the judge asked if there was anyone in the court who spoke German. A guy who was sitting up the back put his hand up. So he was brought to the front. The judge asked him: "OK, ask the witness to state his name." The guy turns to the witness and says " Vat iss your neime??" The guy got charged with contempt of court

that is seriouly messed up but still very funny
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A man and his wife watched a televised boxing match that quickly ended in a knockout. The husband groaned. "What a rip off! It was all over in three minutes!" His wife replied, "Now you know how I feel!"

tabana wrote:

A man and his wife watched a televised boxing match that quickly ended in a knockout. The husband groaned. "What a rip off! It was all over in three minutes!" His wife replied, "Now you know how I feel!"

He shouldn't hit his wife.

bmwracer wrote:

He shouldn't hit his wife.

And the next day their neighbours complain to them about getting ripped-off...

tabana wrote:

A man and his wife watched a televised boxing match that quickly ended in a knockout. The husband groaned. "What a rip off! It was all over in three minutes!" His wife replied, "Now you know how I feel!"

Does Krim know you're talking about him?
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Wanna trade? My Drama List (UPDATED: July, 2013)

Wynter wrote:

Does Krim know you're talking about him?

Why? Was he doing the boxing, or the bonking?

thtl wrote:

Why? Was he doing the boxing, or the bonking?

LOL! He's admit to having a "short fuse".
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Wanna trade? My Drama List (UPDATED: July, 2013)

Wynter wrote:

LOL! He's admit to having a "short fuse".

I hope he never finds the need to ignite that particular fuse...

thtl wrote:

I hope he never finds the need to ignite that particular fuse...

LOL! You've condemned him.

Click on button to reveal/hide spoiler:

Krim made this joke about being really quick in bed. Hence his connection to the joke.

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Wanna trade? My Drama List (UPDATED: July, 2013)

Wynter wrote:

LOL! You've condemned him. Click on button to reveal/hide spoiler: Krim made this joke about being really quick in bed. Hence his connection to the joke.

Did he receive black ops training from the military? You know, those guys who are

Click on button to reveal/hide spoiler:

in and out in a flash.

thtl wrote:

Did he receive black ops training from the military? You know, those guys who are Click on button to reveal/hide spoiler: in and out in a flash.

Makes sense now why he prefers the easily releast guns.
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Wanna trade? My Drama List (UPDATED: July, 2013)

tabana wrote:

A man and his wife watched a televised boxing match that quickly ended in a knockout. The husband groaned. "What a rip off! It was all over in three minutes!" His wife replied, "Now you know how I feel!"

that is messed up


ouch!!! i wouldn't want to be him if he and his wife was in the ring
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He'd have to throw the towel.

Wynter wrote:

Does Krim know you're talking about him?

He got better. He's even in the movie with the mysterious former idol K.

An English family was shopping when the young son picked up a Scotland football shirt and said to his sister, "I've decided to be a Scotland supporter. I want this shirt for my birthday." His sister was outraged, whacked him upside the head, and screamed, "Talk to your mother!" The little lad took the blue football shirt to his mom. "Mum, I've decided to be a Scotland supporter. I want this shirt for my birthday." His mother was outraged, whacked him upside the head, and shouted, "Talk to your father!" So he did. "Dad, I've decided to be a Scotland supporter. I want this shirt for my birthday." His father is outraged and whacked his son upside the head, bellowing, "No son of mine will ever be seen in that!" An hour later, as they were driving home, his father said sternly, "Son, I hope you've learned your lesson today." The boy replied, "Yes, father, I have." "Good. What did you learn?" The son replied, "I've only been a Scotland supporter for an hour and I already hate you English bastards!"
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A real item on craiglist. http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/bar/472135940.html

Striking writer in need of street cred? FT: 1984 Toyota Tercel Wagon
Honestly, nothing looks worse than pulling up in your Ferrari to picket the Disney studio gates. It's a faux pas of the worst kind; there's not a self-respecting Teamster around who'd see that gloss black work of art and horsepower and think, "I gotta make sure you get more money for electronic sell-through, Brother...."

But I can help give you street cred on the line....

I am willing to temporarily trade my 1984 Toyota Tercel wagon for your car. This spotted silver beauty is owned and driven daily by a real "below the line" film and television worker with a bent for organic foods and ultra-liberal politics. Vintage "Kucinich for President 2004" sticker included free of charge. (Will send you the 2008 version when it arrives in the mail.)

Will trade for Maserati, Ferrari or other top-end Italian sports cars. Will also consider other European trophies as well. (No BMW's -- I don't want people to think I'm a total asshole...)

Trade to last as long as you are on strike (best estimate, 5-6 months)....in the meantime, at least people will think you suffer for your art.

Please make sure to send a pic with your email. And no, I won't take an "Associate Producer" credit for it, either....
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tabana wrote:

No BMW's -- I don't want people to think I'm a total asshole.....

Beem better not see this

Yup.
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<Gamer> Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob off your granny, It feels great but for christs sake don't look down.
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One beautiful December evening Pedro and girlfriend Rosita were sitting on the veranda. It was a romantic full moon and Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu!"

"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon" replied Rosita.

"Oh come on baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time!" Pedro begged.

"But I just want to hold your hand and watch the moon" said Rosita.

"Please just once, do Weeweechu with me." said Pedro.

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "Okay, this one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they sang "Weeweechu you a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu you a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!"

MERRY CHRISTMAS and GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!