Wynter wrote:

Question: How long should a couple be together before engaging in anything sexual? I know the answer is "when the time is right", but I mean, specifically from a guy's perspective, when would a guy think it should happen? If it happens too quickly, the girl will be labelled a slut. If it happens too slow, the girl would be considered the neighbors grandma. Where's the mid-ground?

if it's gonna be something serious, let's say... 3 months?

but it's a totally different thing if he's toootally hot. like steamy hot.

but what do i know. i've only had one real girlfriend, two heart-brakes, and now i'm bi-curious
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Wynter wrote:

Hmm. Like what?

Well, like age of the guy, previous relationship history/experience, how much he likes the girl in question (as in enough for a "permanent" relationship), cultural differences, religious/moral differences....

monta wrote:

if it's gonna be something serious, let's say... 3 months?

Hmmm... that's what coco-chan said as well. So 3 months.

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but it's a totally different thing if he's toootally hot. like steamy hot. but what do i know. i've only had one real girlfriend, two heart-brakes, and now i'm bi-curious

Awwww! What you need is your first relationship with a guy. That'll satisfy your curiosity and perhaps make things more "clear" for you.

Anime Dad wrote:

Well, like age of the guy.

Wow, I must be totally oblivious. Why does the age of the guy matter when it comes to sex? Unless he's a minor, of course.

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previous relationship history/experience

Secure and tested.

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how much he likes the girl in question (as in enough for a "permanent" relationship)

Good question...

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cultural differences, religious/moral differences....

But this would only matter if one is not in agreement, right? I don't think the situation will be forced... both would HAVE to be in agreement.
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Was that a general question or was there some personal interest involved? (Oops, should I delete this question?)
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Wynter wrote:

But this would only matter if one is not in agreement, right? I don't think the situation will be forced... both would HAVE to be in agreement.

Well, it's a reason why he wouldn't. Maybe it wouldn't come up immediately

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Wow, I must be totally oblivious. Why does the age of the guy matter when it comes to sex? Unless he's a minor, of course.

Well, an older/more experienced guy could possibly not rush into anything without being sure whereas a younger guy may not be so patient.


You wanted opinions, right?

Wynter wrote:

Question: How long should a couple be together before engaging in anything sexual? I know the answer is "when the time is right", but I mean, specifically from a guy's perspective, when would a guy think it should happen? If it happens too quickly, the girl will be labelled a slut. If it happens too slow, the girl would be considered the neighbors grandma. Where's the mid-ground?

I think you should have a basis for your physical relationship first. Make sure you have some familiarity. If that feels like it's the first night, so be it... if it feels like 3 weeks, fine.

As for me, it's been highly variable. I've had sex with a long term girlfriend (nearly 2 years) after having only known her 4 hours and I've not had anything happen for 4 weeks with a short term fling (just about killed the poor girl, I'm afraid.. she should have said something!) - actually it's better than that - I didn't even kiss her for like 3 weeks.
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Anime Dad wrote:

Well, an older/more experienced guy could possibly not rush into anything without being sure whereas a younger guy may not be so patient.

Now that you put it that way, I hope I can find some younger guy instead of an older one.
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cori wrote:

Was that a general question or was there some personal interest involved? (Oops, should I delete this question?)

Anime Dad wrote:

Well, an older/more experienced guy could possibly not rush into anything without being sure whereas a younger guy may not be so patient. You wanted opinions, right?

LOL! No! I wanted advice.

phlargo wrote:

I think you should have a basis for your physical relationship first. Make sure you have some familiarity. If that feels like it's the first night, so be it... if it feels like 3 weeks, fine. As for me, it's been highly variable. I've had sex with a long term girlfriend (nearly 2 years) after having only known her 4 hours and I've not had anything happen for 4 weeks with a short term fling (just about killed the poor girl, I'm afraid.. she should have said something!)

So it all comes back to whatever feels right, eh? I guess my question stems from "where does it all start?" If the guy doesn't initiate, should the girl? Or vice versa? I guess we should all just leave it up to time.

cori wrote:

Now that you put it that way, I hope I can find some younger guy instead of an older one.

LOL! Yer awesome. I'll stick with the older guys. I'm such a prune.
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Wynter wrote:

LOL! Yer awesome. I'll stick with the older guys. I'm such a prune.

nothing wrong with them

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LOL! No! I wanted advice.

That's what I meant


I'm probably the wrong person to offer advice on the subject anyway, being married for 22 years to my first love But you'll probably get a few different bits of advice from different people....

Wynter wrote:

LOL! Yer awesome. I'll stick with the older guys. I'm such a prune.

I think a girl should feel free to initiate things. If the guy isn't comfortable, he'll make that clear... just as a girl should do the same.
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Wynter wrote:

So it all comes back to whatever feels right, eh? I guess my question stems from "where does it all start?" If the guy doesn't initiate, should the girl? Or vice versa? I guess we should all just leave it up to time.

Despite what I've been saying, I'm pretty old fashioned, so I usually let the guy make the first move, whether it's a kiss or something more. Only in the initial phases though.

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LOL! Yer awesome. I'll stick with the older guys. I'm such a prune.

I like older guys too, but maybe I need someone young to make it a bit more spicy.
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cori wrote:

Now that you put it that way, I hope I can find some younger guy instead of an older one.

cori wrote:

I like older guys too, but maybe I need someone young to make it a bit more spicy.

any of your neighbour's son hot and needs money? pay him to do the lawn
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Anime Dad wrote:

That's what I meant I'm probably the wrong person to offer advice on the subject anyway, being married for 22 years to my first love But you'll probably get a few different bits of advice from different people....

No worries! It was a "general" question on my part.

phlargo wrote:

I think a girl should feel free to initiate things. If the guy isn't comfortable, he'll make that clear... just as a girl should do the same.

Sold! I think that's the confirmation I was looking for.

cori wrote:

I like older guys too, but maybe I need someone young to make it a bit more spicy.

But older guys have experience. I think that alone can add a wonder of spice. I'd rather not go through the guessing game again.
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monta wrote:

any of your neighbour's son hot and needs money? pay him to do the lawn

Or the guy who cleans the pool... *cue 70's porn movie music*

This is highly entertaining.

"Excuse me ma'am.. did you order a pizza (call a plumber)?"
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Wynter wrote:

Sold! I think that's the confirmation I was looking for.

Absolutely! the guy may just be a little shy...

monta wrote:

any of your neighbour's son hot and needs money? pay him to do the lawn

Haha, that would be great, but I think that would be illegal. Maybe I should hang around the college campus instead.

Wynter wrote:

But older guys have experience. I think that alone can add a wonder of spice. I'd rather not go through the guessing game again.

How many years older? And I guess you're right about younger guys not having that much experience, but still, you and I have more than 5 years difference in age, so my idea of someone "younger" could be your idea of "older."
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cori wrote:

How many years older? And I guess you're right about younger guys not having that much experience, but still, you and I have more than 5 years difference in age, so my idea of someone "younger" could be your idea of "older."

30-year-old guys should be concerned.....

Anime Dad wrote:

30-year-old guys should be concerned.....

Ew, I just realized that's my younger brother's age. So basically, I'll be screwing with one of his classmates if it came true.
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