Nice.

tabana wrote:

Nice.

what do you think? their figthing or dancing!! ahahahah
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����Yukie Nakama ����Ɉ�����!
Vote for yukie!

Okay, I don't know if this one has already been posted, but my brother told me this joke and I just cracked up. I don't know, I laugh at all kinds of corny stuff that other peeps don't find funny. Anyway, here goes:

This guy in a bar was on his fifth mug of beer when he suddenly had the urge to go to the rest room. Afraid that someone would still his drink, stuck a note on the beer mug that said "I spit in this beer."

When he came back and sat down, he noticed another note on the beer mug that said "So did I."

I know its stupid, but I don't usually hear jokes, so natuarally I thought that it was just freaking hilarious.
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Brain weirdness.

While you're sitting down, lift your right foot and make clockwise circles. While doing that, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction, and there's nothing you can do about it!

From Dilbert's Newsletter 62.0

Quote:

TRUE TALES OF INDUHVIDUALS One of my co-workers (who is originally from Arkansas, just FYI) told me one day that he knew for a fact that sex feels better for women than it does for men. I asked, "How do you figure that?" His reply was (and I am not making this up!), "Because when you put your finger in your ear and wiggle it around, it feels better to your ear than it does to your finger."

An eagle smokes the weed. A frog asks him for one inhale, so the eagle gives a joint to her. She inhales, suddenly feels great, big smile, jumps away and bumps into crocodile.
- Why are you so happy, froggie? - the crocodile asks.
- You know, eagle smokes pot and he will share it with you if you ask....
So crocodile finds the eagle and asks him for an inhale. Eagle looks at him and says:
- You...know...I think, you had enough...froggie...
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2 dirty Christmas jokes. You may have heard them before.



Why does Santa Claus have the world's best job? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live!

One Christmas Eve, a young woman lost her job, had her car stolen, and her boyfriend cleaned out their bank account before leaving town with her best friend! She decided to end it all. She went down to the wharf and just as she was about to jump in, a voice shouted, "Stop!" She turned around and saw Santa Claus. "What's wrong?" he asked. She told him her story, and admitted she was there to commit suicide. "Your luck is about to change. I am, in fact, the real Santa Claus, not a fake mall Santa, and every Christmas Eve before starting my rounds, I help people in need. So, for you, young lady, I'm going to put your money back in your bank account, and when you get home your car will be there along with a telegram from your boss asking you to come back to work for more money than you made before, plus your boyfriend will be there begging you to take him back." "Oh, Santa!" she exclaimed. "Thank you! What a wonderful Christmas present. I wish there was some way that I could repay you." Santa replied, "Well... there is one thing that I haven't had in years..." and pointed below his big shiny belt buckle. She was surprised, but figured after all those favors, it was the least she could do. So she did. Afterwards, a pleased Santa asked her, "How old are you, young lady?" She replied, "22, Santa. Why?" "Ho, ho, ho. Aren�ft you a little old to believe in Santa Claus!?"


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a rabbit and a bear are next to each other while having a s*** in the woods.
bear says to rabbit 'do you have problems with s*** sticking to your fur?'
rabbit replies 'no i don't'
'good' says the bear and promptly picks the rabbit up and wipes his arse with him!

Good one.
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A stupid Christmas joke:
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Memo

From: Santa Claus

To: Residents of the Southern United States

I regret to inform you that this Christmas Eve I will not serve the South since my contract has recently been renegotiated by the Fairies and Elves Union, Local 11. I'm sure your children will be in good hands with the local replacement, my third cousin, Bubba Claus. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls, but since his side of the family hails from the South Pole, there are a few differences between us:

1. His sleigh has a gun rack and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers RC cola and moon pies. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. Instead, he dips snuff, so you may want to leave a spit can near the fireplace.

3. Bubba's sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs. Once I loaned him a reindeer and now Blitzen's head is hanging above Bubba's fireplace.

4. Instead of "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen...", Bubba Claus says, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. My "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw." And Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat."

6. As evidently required by Southern law, the back of Bubba Claus' sleigh has a Yosemite Sam safety triangle with the words, "Back Off."

7. Bubba has cancelled the usual Christmas movie classics like "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life". Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit Xmas!" with dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other and starring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus.

And finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. Be sure your wife and kids look away when he bends over to put your presents under the tree!

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Another stupid Christmas joke
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Why Santa Must Be a Man
He lives at the North Pole. All women require ambient room temperature high enough to cook a turkey, so there's no way any woman choose the North Pole as her base of operations. The Bahamas, maybe.

He's fat and jolly. No one dares to describe any woman as "fat and jolly." If Santa was a woman, and you called her "fat and jolly," you wouldn't find coal in your stocking, you'd find a bomb!

He hangs out at the mall. Sure, at first glance this might seem to prove that he's a she. But, while both men and women go to malls, what does Santa do at the mall? He sits down! Do women ever sit at malls? No, women shop; men sit. Santa sits. 'Nuff said.

He walks on roofs. Women refuse to get on roofs! Have you ever seen a woman on a roof?

He likes milk and cookies. If he were a she, you have to leave dark chocolate and herbal tea by the fireplace. Or, if she was still sensitive about that whole "Fat and Jolly" thing, she'd demand carrot sticks and water.He uses the chimney. What woman would crawl into a dirty, smelly chimney? A woman would carry a set of keys for every house and then not be able to find them in her purse.

He has reindeer. Reindeer are totally a guy thing: big, hairy, smelly, with huge antlers. No woman would use them. She would prefer a stretch limo.

See? Santa must be a man!
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i dunno if this was already posted but...

my bro got this in email... and its really amusing ^^

a blonde's answer to a geometry problem:

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sawadasmile wrote:

i dunno if this was already posted but... my bro got this in email... and its really amusing ^^ a blonde's answer to a geometry problem:

lol

@tabana, did you get your calendars in the mail yet?

I received the 1st 4 I ordered in October last week, but the other 4 are on the way.

I just checked with my tracking number and it says that my package has left the country of origin last night. My guess is they are somewhere over the Pacific ocean, over Alaska or at the airport.

It might take longer than usual, because of the holidays though.
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tabana wrote:

I received the 1st 4 I ordered in October last week, but the other 4 are on the way. I just checked with my tracking number and it says that my package has left the country of origin last night. My guess is they are somewhere over the Pacific ocean, over Alaska or at the airport. It might take longer than usual, because of the holidays though.

cool, hope you get your calendars soon, cause it's arrival is after the holidays..i suppose better late than never...
make some room on your walls, that is a lot 8 calendars, then again i have a lot too.

I don't know where I'm going to put them all. Maybe like 4 at work and if I hide one behind a door, I'll look less ecchi.
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tabana wrote:

I don't know where I'm going to put them all. Maybe like 4 at work and if I hide one behind a door, I'll look less ecchi.

yeah, the ecchi ones, keep in your room at home...like me, lol.

Here is a lame joke for everyone:
Why did the blonde jump off the cliff?

Because she thought her pad had wings.

^_^ Hahaha...I love that one~

Things to do in a Bathroom Stall:

1. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
2. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
3. Say "Damn, this water is cold."
4. Tell people that they're on TV. Point to some random spot on the far wall and ask them to "smile for the camera".
5. Use a stopwatch to time people going to the bathroom. Cheer them on to encourage good performance.
6. Complement people on their shoes.
7. Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.
8. Say a brief but tearful eulogy before every flush.
9. After peeing say, "looks clear, my probation agent will be happy"
10. Stick one arm under the stall holding a measuring cup and say "I'm a cup short."