Joined: 28 Jan 2009 Posts: 995 Location: Netherlands Country:
Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 12:19 am Post subject:
Of course, I would love to be able to tell you all that I have a wonderful girlfriend and that we're both very happy, but sadly, that's not the case.
At the present moment, I am a very single guy who is kind of bored with his single life. So I sincerely hope that in the very near future, a wonderful lady will walk into my life.
Of course, I would love to be able to tell you all that I have a wonderful girlfriend and that we're both very happy, but sadly, that's not the case.
At the present moment, I am a very single guy who is kind of bored with his single life. So I sincerely hope that in the very near future, a wonderful lady will walk into my life.
Majide??? I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm against getting hitched... let's just say it's an option that I choose not to exercise.
Meeh, I was joking. Or maybe not. I'm a little bit cynical about marriage, it seems to me that to live a whole life with someone as "one" is a little bit utopic. It is too hard to make it work. (and that fart thing proves my point )
Joined: 11 May 2009 Posts: 479 Location: up hill and down dale Country:
Posted: Wed May 12, 2010 5:28 pm Post subject:
Sambalici wrote:
Meeh, I was joking. Or maybe not. I'm a little bit cynical about marriage, it seems to me that to live a whole life with someone as "one" is a little bit utopic. It is too hard to make it work. (and that fart thing proves my point )
I know what you mean. I used to believe in The One, back when I was 17 and didn't know sh*t. But the older I got the more ludicrous the idea felt -- how can there be just one person in the whole wide world who's right for you? I don't believe in The One anymore, but I still believe that whoever you choose to spend the rest of your life with becomes that person -- not by kismet or destiny, but by personal choice.
Making a relationship work is tough like you said, but still doable, IMO. Couples who have been together 50++ years are living proof of this. Maybe the heady romantic feelings will long be gone by then, but at least the friendship, trust and companionship will remain. I guess that's why it's so important for two people to be compatible on as many levels as possible, so their union will (hopefully) last longer.
So yeah, I still believe in marriage as a necessary social institution. My friends who are getting hitched and starting families one by one seem to be doing all right. It's just something I personally don't wish to get into because I know I'm not built for it. (i.e. The very idea of sharing toothbrush cups I find disagreeable; how much more a whole life shared together? )
I know what you mean. I used to believe in The One, back when I was 17 and didn't know sh*t. But the older I got the more ludicrous the idea felt -- how can there be just one person in the whole wide world who's right for you? I don't believe in The One anymore, but I still believe that whoever you choose to spend the rest of your life with becomes that person -- not by kismet or destiny, but by personal choice.
Making a relationship work is tough like you said, but still doable, IMO. Couples who have been together 50++ years are living proof of this. Maybe the heady romantic feelings will long be gone by then, but at least the friendship, trust and companionship will remain. I guess that's why it's so important for two people to be compatible on as many levels as possible, so their union will (hopefully) last longer.
So yeah, I still believe in marriage as a necessary social institution. My friends who are getting hitched and starting families one by one seem to be doing all right. It's just something I personally don't wish to get into because I know I'm not built for it. (i.e. The very idea of sharing toothbrush cups I find disagreeable; how much more a whole life shared together? )
Well you said it all. I agree that marriage is a necessary social institution, but I believe most people marry just for the sake of marrying. Maybe because of the fear of living alone, or "she/he ist the One" thing, I don't know but I believe marriage should be a realistic desicion, not purely romantic. Love as we generally perceive does not last too much but If two person can stand together for 50+ years then that is the "love" I believe.
But I don't believe in "I'm not built for it" thing, we all are but we just need to be convinced about that.
Joined: 11 May 2009 Posts: 479 Location: up hill and down dale Country:
Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 3:09 pm Post subject:
bmwracer wrote:
LOL, you should rinse out the cup after use, huh?
Ahhh, the little concessions we give marriage...
bmwracer wrote:
At least it's not sharing toothbrushes.
Word. I'd rather NOT brush my teeth than use someone else's toothbrush. That's like... recycling your dental floss.
Itazura ichiban wrote:
Dunno, I might have just gotten drunk with The One last night. It all depends if she's thinking the same thing.
Good luck, Jim.
Sambalici wrote:
But I don't believe in "I'm not built for it" thing, we all are but we just need to be convinced about that.
Then it's gonna take a lifetime to convince me, lol. Maybe even more.
But, c'mon, look at people like Mother Teresa, who made the conscious choice to never marry but still lived fulfilling lives. Some look at marriage as a necessary evil, others see it as an unnecessary good. As for me, I just don't think it's for everyone. Most people seek permanent companionship at some point in their lives, but I don't think we're all wired the same way. Just because a person decides to stay single doesn't necessarily mean they did so for lack of viable life partners. They just prefer to live that way. And just because you stay single doesn't mean you're alone or unhappy or empty inside.
Then it's gonna take a lifetime to convince me, lol. Maybe even more.
But, c'mon, look at people like Mother Teresa, who made the conscious choice to never marry but still lived fulfilling lives. Some look at marriage as a necessary evil, others see it as an unnecessary good. As for me, I just don't think it's for everyone. Most people seek permanent companionship at some point in their lives, but I don't think we're all wired the same way. Just because a person decides to stay single doesn't necessarily mean they did so for lack of viable life partners. They just prefer to live that way. And just because you stay single doesn't mean you're alone or unhappy or empty inside.
Don't get me wrong but that made me remember The Taming Of The Shrew.
Staying unmarried or marrying very late is some kind of a tradition in my fathers family line, even my father was (or still is heh) like Abe Hiroshi in Kekkon Dekinai Otoko . So I know exactly what you mean as prefering the "single" life. I think it is like that Woody Allen movie, whatever works for you is the best.
Joined: 18 Jan 2004 Posts: 851 Location: USA Country:
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 3:02 pm Post subject:
You are making me feel like the odd one out here.
I always said I would not get married until I was 24 years old and I didn't. then I married the one person that I knew I could be happy in bed with for the rest of my life. It was all very romantic and the way it happened was not ordinary so everything was most satisfactory.
It remained that way for over sixty years. He was my true love and I would never need any other.
Background experiences and upbringing and sense of humour and enjoying sunsets etc etc. Especially when it's a bawdy English sense of humour.
If I knew then what I know now..there would have been a helluva lot more bed scenes in our UKdrama.
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Your nose is thankful to you, I'm sure. 
She's Nihonjin, so I'd better keep my kuchi closed. 
I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm 
) 
Good luck, Jim. 
