Akakage wrote:

Seems to me like you promoting yourself here with the chicks..

shhh. internet girls allow you to make them perfect so let's not take it outside the net.


guys ARE jerks. im not gonna lie...we have balls but we dont use them. like me, right now for instance...i should have broken this thing off a month ago, but we just made plans to go up to NYC for the wkend.
she's just really cool and i care for her so i dont want to hurt her...but i know im not in it, so...

i DO treat my girls like gold. you know why? b/c i wouldnt be going out with a mean, psycho bitch. girls I usually see on occasion are kind and fully of the gigglies.

Quote:

DO treat my girls like gold. you know why? b/c i wouldnt be going out with a mean, psycho bitch. girls I usually see on occasion are kind and fully of the gigglies.

Thank God for that..I don't fall into your criteria. I'm far from bubbly and giglish..because I'm a psycho bitch.. Well the importance of being a bitch usually is to deal with some smartass jerk.

whatever wrote:

oh yeah, that's soo.. true you GO girl!

MixxDreamer wrote:

hehe i agree with that too

see..some girls like my attitude..

Akakage wrote:

I'm far from bubbly and giglish..because I'm a psycho bitch..

hey hey...girls dont have to be bubbly to be gigglish. i just like laughing and having fun...i hate wasting my time being sad or mad over some dumb shit. only time i get sad is when i leave my grandmother/mom or watch a japanese drama show. or when hokkai koko loses in HS baseball.

Ikumu wrote:

i get sad is when i leave my grandmother/mom.

eh ure so dramatic
_________________

Ikumu wrote:

hey hey...girls dont have to be bubbly to be gigglish. i just like laughing and having fun...i hate wasting my time being sad or mad over some dumb shit. only time i get sad is when i leave my grandmother/mom or watch a japanese drama show.

I like to be mad over some dumb shit sometime..my bad.
I got annoyed so easily and I hardly cry over watching japanese drama too.

Heck..no I don't want to talk about my mother nor any member of my family in this thread..

Ikumu wrote:

History: 24 yrs old, grew up in the states since i was 6. dated white girls until i was 20. dated half white/asian girls for a bit, then onto full asians the last couple of years. Topic of post: At first I thought it was a white thing, where white girls couldnt cook and didnt know how to take care of their partner. Great lovers, though. Half white/asian girls are definitely cute, but they are clueless as to what their culture is (cooking +1). Full asians have been mmm...interesting. Im beginning to think I dont know what it is Im looking for, I've dated way too many as it is. How is it some people can date for 6 months and know they'll be together forever? Anyways I've had this conversation with my grandmother every time I go back the last few years, that I want to marry a Japanese girl. She says that even Japanese girls these days do not know how to uphold their side of the relationship (i.e., our contractor to build our house would go nuts when my grandmother would make something for him...he says that his wife sleeps in the mornings, and he has to go buy his lunch... ) I think my post sounds a bit sexist, perhaps...I've had a couple of great girls that were caring like that, but I dunno, I guess Im just too picky. When my mom was growing up and she left Japan for the US, it was a shock to my whole family...her generation of females were when girls started leaving their homes. Nowadays, girls have become very independent, yet they have forgotten how to be a female partner? Set me straight!

For the record, I've read all the posts, but I might have forgotten some stuff that was said I just have a few comments on dating in general. I think guys getting bored w/ girls or figuring out they aren't the one has contributed to my own issues

So people know in advance, I'm very pessimistic w/ relationship stuff. So I tend not to even bother anymore I have become very independent and I'm very untrusting of men. My fear is dedicating myself to someone and doing all I can for them just to break up later and feel like I totally wasted my time. Not that I'm expecting permanence out of anything, but it's because I don't expect permanence and don't like being vulnerable that I'm like that. I just figure guys get bored of girls and vice versa, even after marriage. I know eyes wander, sometimes they act, sometimes they don't, but I feel they eventually WILL. I'm very defensive w/ dating so I don't open up to men (anymore).

Part of this stuff I think is low self-esteem. My taste in men tends to be out of my league so when I am with those men, I feel like "Um, why is he with me?" and figure it won't last long. And, I don't like being dependent upon someone being there because I figure they won't always be there. With all of this, I don't expect to ever be married. I'm more likely to be friends w/ a guy and hang out rather than date him, whether I like him or not, whether he likes me or not.

And yeah, I know how to do all the household stuff and cooking because I live alone. So I'm sorta the man and woman of my house. I cook, clean, kill bugs (although I scream and get girlie about it) and fix things that I can (I have my own toolbox! YAY!), and if I buy something that needs to be assembled, I do it myself. There are some things I can't do, like put an air conditioner unit in a window So maybe my independence contributes to my reluctance to trust and date someone because then I feel like I don't need or want anyone. But even if I was married to a guy or living with one, things gotta be equal or at least close to it. Help me cook sometimes, or do the cooking once in a while. Make it 50/50 or even 60/40 would be cool

I have had my share of good boyfriends and long term relationships, but I've had my share of @$$holes as well. I just don't trust the majority of them, so I prefer not to make myself vulnerable to getting attached, because over time I will do that. And, I just can't date a few people casually at the same time just for fun, after meeting them at bars, because I'm not really the type of person to do that.

I've also seen too many of my friends get attached too quickly and get hurt later I don't think they think realistically when they date; they get attached too quickly and set themselves up to be hurt later, while I try to avoid that. After 2-3 months they are talking to the guy and say "I love you!", and a few months later they think they will eventually marry the guy. I think for myself now, I'd probably need to date a guy AT LEAST 2 years before I'd consider marrying a guy or even moving in with a guy. And, I'm also for long engagements. I'd give the guy plenty of time to change his mind, as well as myself. There I go again, fear of attachment.

But for the record, when you are looking for something specific (or even when you just hope someone turns out to be what you'd prefer), that's when it's least likely to be found... So I guess it's trial and error. Ikumu, I wouldn't worry though, you are still young �撣���ĉ������I

Long depressing rant over!

MixxDreamer wrote:

eh ure so dramatic

recognize!
no, really, everytime i go back to japan, my grandmother thinks it's the last time she'll ever get to see me...either from her passing away, or her eye sight going to shit (her left eye is nonfunctional now, and her right eye is at 15-20%). my mom was 19 when she had me (went to nursing school and worked 2 jobs), so you can guess where i stayed many nights.
grandma and grandpa were my parents for a while...so yeah, ill admit it, i cry when i leave her (grandpa, RIP 2000). so last year i ran to the car with a quick good bye and left w/o a tear...this year as i was driving to the train station with mom, i started to cry...which in turn made her cry...so what, my family is emotional.
never do good-byes at the train station, it's the absolute worst to see a smiling face with tears in their eyes waving good-bye to you.

KouSeiya315 wrote:

I know eyes wander, sometimes they act, sometimes they don't, but I feel they eventually WILL. I'm very defensive w/ dating so I don't open up to men (anymore).

Mmm...when I was in love (once), she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Everyday was better than the next...ok, I looked at some other asses but honestly, I had no desire to be with anyone else (the thought of being with someone else at that time felt almost sickening...b/c she was the one, ya know?). She was my best friend of 3 years and we dated 9 months...took me years to get over that one...come to think of it, rest of the break-ups seem like cake to get over after that one.

It's sad that you dont open-up anymore, but I think I'm in the same boat...in a way. My past few gf's have told me they have to pry me open, and even then I get distant as soon as I open up a bit.
I tend to open up easily with people that I know arent interested in being at my hip...if that makes any sense (i.e. chick friends, internet boards, lol).

But I feel you on everything that you said...as I was reading, thinking "...I feel the same". Especially with the attachment crap (current gf ). You tell these people to take it slow, let's just try to get to know each other first...but I dont think they'll ever learn, b/c many of my friends have fallen victim to that mess (2 of my friends have gotten divorces already, and we're ~25).

And for your info, no man is out of your league. Sounds like you've gotten many things figured out already, whether it be your problems or what you are wanting. Some of your realizations are amazing, I'd say that you're a mature lady, I just wished some of the girls around here held those qualities. I have no chance with 35 yr old women, eventhough they've gotten many things figured out. Sometimes I feel like I have to raise my gf's, b/c they just seem so naive. Where the hell I'm goin with this, I have no clue...but I'm glad there's some people that I can conversate with in here.

what the heck is your problem?? flickin me off i wasnt trying to attack u whatsoever.. hey at least u've seen your grandparents, ive never seen any of mine, except my gramma's funeral when i was 7 but anyway, u dont have to explain your whole story to me

i dont really know where you find these girls you mention that doesnt meet your standards but my friends are never like that, most likely i hardly met any people who're so naive or just useless like who doesnt know how to cook or even know how to make rice.. they kinda reminds me of kouseiya actually, very well independent and have high goals in their lives, i actually understand where shes coming from, heck im with my bf for 4+ years now and i still ask myself do i even deserve this person?.. why me? hes like so perfect in my eyes or whatever while i see myself like a dorky girl but i cant really see myself getting married anytime soon, 24 is still young, i still have alot of things to do in life
_________________

Ikumu wrote:

Sounds like you've gotten many things figured out already, whether it be your problems or what you are wanting. Some of your realizations are amazing, I'd say that you're a mature lady, I just wished some of the girls around here held those qualities. I have no chance with 35 yr old women, eventhough they've gotten many things figured out. Sometimes I feel like I have to raise my gf's, b/c they just seem so naive. Where the hell I'm goin with this, I have no clue...but I'm glad there's some people that I can conversate with in here.

Maybe I've aged too quickly, LOL. In my head maybe I'm kinda old, but I'm only 23. I guess it's living and experiencing (myself), observing and learning (from others). With dating I am sort of an old maid at this rate, which I'm fine with at the moment, hehe.

The last guy I dated, I was w/ him for about 4 years. I haven't dated anyone since we broke up, which was about hmm...3 years ago? I wasn't dumped or cheated on (that I know of), and we didn't break up on bad terms. Since then, I haven't had a desire to start over. I still had those thoughts and never fully trusted him, although I tried not to let on about that. I'll tell guys the truth about my issues eventually, and when they tell me it's fine and not to worry, I'll still have those thoughts even if I don't tell them so. So I sorta get comfortable after a while and have second thoughts underneath while trying to prepare myself for the worst (that's what I do automatically). I have fear of commitment, but in a different way. I fear committing and getting hurt after I get attached.

To add to it, my sister is going through something w/ her husband now, and is severely hurt and screwed over, because she got totally dependent on her husband being there. He recently changed completely (mid-life crisis?), cheated on her, and when she "caught" him and questioned him about it, he denied it, proceeded to start treating her and us like CRAP, while blaming her for his being "unhappy" although he never said a word otherwise. She dated him for a total of 10 years (lived w/ him for about 75% of that time), got married to him, and has been married 8 years (my sister is 32). He waited until 7 months ago to cheat on her (and with at least 4 others). And, my sister 1) is not ugly in the least, 2) did EVERYTHING for him, he never matured. She was basically the housewife and worked full time while he was just the kid with no worries, who let her take care of anything he screwed up. While he ignored real life issues, my sister took care of them because she HAD to (bills and such). He suddenly sees that as "being controlling". Now she's about to go through an ugly divorce and change of the way she lives, with a severe case of a broken heart and denial. But, I was the way I am way before this ever happened, I'm sure I'll be even worse now

I'm actually the on my friends come to for advice on this stuff, but my pessimism (is that a word? oh well ) and my being alone currently probably causes them not to take my advice, although they ask for my input on what to do about these things

Aww crap, I got pretty off topic there

wow sounds like a blog heheh but nice to read that, (im bored)

Quote:

I guess it's living and experiencing (myself), observing and learning (from others).

yes, very true.

damn im sorry to hear about your sis, i hope shes feeling better, a family friend just recently went through that too, just about the similar situation, husband cheated on wife made her cry..etc. and shes suffering with a broken heart, and it got worse, she stopped talking, or basically went on mute, her family brought her to the doctor and said its no use, she somehow suffered a wound of the heart, if she doesnt do anything she will die of depression i feel so bad for her, and idk what to do

ok my bad i went off topic too
_________________

KouSeiya315 wrote:

My fear is dedicating myself to someone and doing all I can for them just to break up later and feel like I totally wasted my time.

I know that all too well: ten years down the shitter for me...

Quote:

And yeah, I know how to do all the household stuff and cooking because I live alone. So I'm sorta the man and woman of my house. I cook, clean, kill bugs (although I scream and get girlie about it) and fix things that I can (I have my own toolbox! YAY!), and if I buy something that needs to be assembled, I do it myself.

Don't forget that you're getting better with cars...

Quote:

But for the record, when you are looking for something specific (or even when you just hope someone turns out to be what you'd prefer), that's when it's least likely to be found...

Ain't it that truth.

ouch.. I do hope there's no kids involved...

Being the only child of divorced parents, I for one can vouch for the general shit-ass atmosphere it creates in the household....
_________________

MixxDreamer wrote:

what the heck is your problem??

sorry, i wasnt mad or anything. i just kept goin' with whatever it was i was explaining (cant you tell with each of my posts )

KouSeiya315 wrote:

I haven't dated anyone since we broke up, which was about hmm...3 years ago? Since then, I haven't had a desire to start over.

I felt the same, but I went through phases...at first I kinda played some girls in college, then I said fuck it all and moved to Wash DC and just started working and focused on my happiness and goals. The first 2 years I was up here, girls werent really on my mind but somehow I got sidetracked (sex?) and now Im kinda in this relationship that I dont want to be in.
And I honestly didnt get fully over that one major relationship until last summer...so I guess I got you beat, it took me almost 4 yrs (having gf's all the while...not smart but I THOUGHT I was over it, ya know). Losing your best friend sucks...

KouSeiya315 wrote:

I fear committing and getting hurt after I get attached.

Im constantly telling my chick friends that not all guys are the same. But those assholes keep proving me wrong.
Honestly though, it's a risk that you take when you start a relationship, and if you dont have the balls for it (like now), then just keep doin' what you're doin'. I tend to think girls arent shit, unless they show me otherwise...I think it works both ways.

About your sister, it just sounds so whack. Guys tend to take shit for granted, and in your sister's case, it sounds like the husband is playing the bitch role, complaining about nonexistant matter. I'm a strong believer in "things happen for a reason"...and that there's a positive outcome. Your sister didnt get "boring", or become a control freak. The husband's got issues within that screwed over someone else's life.

I always walk away from my relationships a little wiser, knowing myself better, etc. When you said in an earlier post that you felt like some relationships end~up being 'a waste of time', I dont think that's true. B/c you've matured this much, and it's from your experience(s). It's all for the better.
Your sister will be ok, she just needs time (so much easier to say on the outside looking in...days of a broken hearted go by sooo slow). I cant really say anything about her way of getting married, b/c it sounds like she did everything the way I would have done it (almost). And I'm always right, so you know...

OMG!!? Such a long post and reading...is this thread a blog or something?

Confession of a blogger mind..

I could not be bothered to read the long post.. I'm not sentimental or at least I'm not sentimental at the moment.

Girls this generation have their own mind. They can decide to do what they want to do. I'm so seriously going to kick a guy's ass if they ask for too much and whine like a bitch as if he is perfect or something. Nobody is perfect in this world. So long as you can accept things that's find with me. So Girls this generation is COOL!!! I don't want Girls this generation to go backward. period. Anybody want to diss my opinion..be my guest..I don't care..

eltinator wrote:

Really!?!?! HELL YEA THEN!

(doing my impression of Matsu Takako as Riko in Love Generation)

"Eltin'. Sukebei."


True Love Never Runs Smooth,
PCM

KouSeiya315 wrote:

Maybe I've aged too quickly, LOL. In my head maybe I'm kinda old, but I'm only 23.

I feel old.


Ojiisan,
PCM

pcmodem wrote:

True Love Never Runs Smooth, PCM

True. A couple needs to learn how to argue with each other and learn how to make-up. Depending on how you look at it, I guess that could be considered 'smooth'. Fighting never meant breaking-up for me, it's the topic of the conversation that could potentially end things (religion, future kids, how she burned my fried rice...j/k).

pcmodem wrote:

I feel old. Ojiisan, PCM

Eh..I'm six years older than her..I don't feel old hehehe..

pcmodem wrote:

I feel old. Ojiisan, PCM

LOL, I feel old, but I'm not old. That's my problem I guess

Akakage wrote:

Eh..I'm six years older than her..I don't feel old hehehe..

Heh. You're still younger than me.


Pass the Geritol,
PCM