Tu_triky wrote:

yeah...all kidding aside i wasn't marginalizing your project or the seriousness of your tone but that example may be worthy of discussion given how contemporary it is. as alluded to above, it's a sociological issue that has many variables and otherwise confounding factors that may qualify any thesis you come up with. tracing the antecedents of any such phenomena one may ponder rudyard kipling's notion of the "white man's burden" and how that might play in to the whole perception of such relationships, however ironically... i don't know the scope your project but i'm just throwing up food for thought. Go SUPERMAN!!!! who would have thunk it...superman is korean? maybe it's drinking all that soju that gives him his powers.... good luck to you.

Thanx dude. But now I really need opinions on this to tie it all up. Do you think it is possible that asian women are doing this for status or to feel accepted by the white population? And if so why do you think they would want to be accepted by this race?
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If I don't see it, it's not illegal.

i wonder about white women marrying asian males. maybe that's not a field of interest relating to your project, though.

lifunk wrote:

Hey, I am not by any means saying your sister is a gold digger. It's all the statistics. But I don't think it is about money just about who is at the top of the totempole. The stats usually say it's about how the asian women feel the need to be accepted by the white culture. Again I am not the one saying it, It's the research others have done and the stats.

I wasn't saying you specifically calling my sister anything, it's a figure of speech.

I do see that you've tried to narrow down to social status. But you've brought up one answering factor, is that we in the USA live in a "white culture". Sure we have chinatowns, jtowns, koreatown here in the large metros of each state, but in the more smaller town, caucasian's are still the majority ethnicity in the US. Therefore, you'd see that there are not many minorities of any race in leading positions. It is conceivable that a woman with.. let's say for example, a Type-A personality would marry someone to gain some sort of political or financial edge on the competition.

How do i feel about something like that occuring, personally, i dont think it's any of my business. I can't really speak to much else, but ill post more later when this has been fleshed our more, so that I can give a better answer.

In response to enna

Yeah, you got it. I will be asian women and American white men. I am just beginning to think that maybe they are trying to be accepted by the white (American white) society. But like I said before, if that's the case why would they want to be accepted by this particular race so badly? What makes them so 'lahteedah' that they would feel a need to be accepted by whites?[
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lifunk wrote:

Thanx dude. But now I really need opinions on this to tie it all up. Do you think it is possible that asian women are doing this for status or to feel accepted by the white population? And if so why do you think they would want to be accepted by this race?

this is obviously a topic that requires a grand dissertation and short of that all we can exchange is educated opinions on the matter backed up empirical evidence when available to lend credence to a premise.

given the often talked about allure of asian women as "exotics" and the like...asians considered as the "model minority"...i would lean more to a grasp for status rather than acceptance....there are several examples of asian women gaining acceptance in fields otherwise dominated by members of white society...asian female news anchors, a few asian actresses....fashion designers like vera wang. it's tough i can't give you a cut and dry answer because there are arguments to be made for both...in fact a search for acceptance in and of itself affects a certain level of status doesn't it?

given this relative nouveau desirability of asian females i think it's more a status think because it approximates a conection with the power players...as you mentioned... the white males..

okay, you owe me a beer now...LOL...just kidding.

Tu_triky wrote:

this is obviously a topic that requires a grand dissertation and short of that all we can exchange is educated opinions on the matter backed up empirical evidence when available to lend credence to a premise. given the often talked about allure of asian women as "exotics" and the like...asians considered as the "model minority"...i would lean more to a grasp for status rather than acceptance....there are several examples of asian women gaining acceptance in fields otherwise dominated by members of white society...asian female news anchors, a few asian actresses....fashion designers like vera wang. it's tough i can't give you a cut and dry answer because there are arguments to be made for both...in fact a search for acceptance in and of itself affects a certain level of status doesn't it? given this relative nouveau desirability of asian females i think it's more a status think because it approximates a conection with the power players...as you mentioned... the white males.. okay, you owe me a beer now...LOL...just kidding.

Okay beer on me...lol J/K. But back to the serious side of this, so is it safe to assume that some asian women either force thmeselves into liking these white men? Or perhaps they marry them and never end up liking them? I know you might not be an asian women or at least in this situation but I would like to know your take on these 2 questions.
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If I don't see it, it's not illegal.

my cousin married a white man, hes handsome, tall, has a high status, and all that type of prince n shining armor stuff plus she loves him with all his heart but some of my friends think she married him for his status but what they didnt know is that shes financially stabled with or w/o him, i think one of the reasons why they got married right away is cuz her dad (my uncle) is dying and she wants him to be there for her wedding, even the guy didnt really want to, but he respected her wishes.. i really think that was sweet, now they have 2 adorable kids and he didnt regret a thing
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Tu_triky wrote:

that's why i brought up the notion of "white man's burden" ...this notion that whites have a duty to civilize others and indoctrinate them with the Western ideals that predominate in largely white societies....

Right. It goes back to the 'Manifest Destiny'. So is it possible for the asian women seeking white American men as partners to actually believe in something like that? Also does that mean that they see their own race as an underdog?
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If I don't see it, it's not illegal.

lifunk wrote:

so is it safe to assume that some asian women either force thmeselves into liking these white men? Or perhaps they marry them and never end up liking them? I know you might not be an asian women or at least in this situation but I would like to know your take on these 2 questions.

this is pretty common in the philippines, and i know anywhere in Asia too, but im speaking from what i see.. specially if theres lots of american tourists, and from what i hear gossips from my relatives, if its not love.. some women just like to get married with status, show off, or they want a beautiful baby someday lol.. the only thing i dont understand about the guys is that they'd get with ugly women not that im against it, but i guess cuz the pretty ones were mostly taken anyway

i guess i can ashamely admit that i have an aunt who's a gold digger and she dates old men and rich. she pretends to be lovey dovey and but when they die or get sick she'll dump them in a second. how sad huh? well i never like her....
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lifunk wrote:

Right. It goes back to the 'Manifest Destiny'. So is it possible for the asian women seeking white American men as partners to actually believe in something like that? Also does that mean that they see their own race as an underdog?

this is how i see it...one approach is to commodify "status" as social capital....the attainment of that social capital brings with it a certain amount of power that is usually associated with or leads to wealth and other forms of capital such as influence or prestige, etc. so in and of itself this acquisition ENABLES the women to affect their lives in a more positive fashion...i don't think notions of the underdog are necessarily implicated along a broad racial spectrum...

MixxDreamer wrote:

the only thing i dont understand about the guys is that they'd get with ugly women

no shiet...i always trip when a white dude flips out on some busted ass asian girl and thinks she's the shiet....

one example that's why i express reservations about ppl who go to tokyo (which i've been to) and drool all over as if every 1 out of 3 females there is hella good looking...i'm like NO...there's a grip of ugly ones and some good looking ones...it's like ANYWHERE....i dunno ppl need throw on some fuggin' better goggles or something

Tu_triky wrote:

no shiet...i always trip when a white dude flips out on some busted ass asian girl and thinks she's the shiet.... one example that's why i express reservations about ppl who go to tokyo (which i've been to) and drool all over as if every 1 out of 3 females there is hella good looking...i'm like NO...there's a grip of ugly ones and some good looking ones...it's like ANYWHERE....i dunno ppl need throw on some fuggin' better goggles or something

I couldn't agree more. It goes the same for the asian chick trying to find a hot white guy to date. My friend is asian and she is dating the ugliest white guy you can possibly image. (think along the lines of peewee herman ugly) I asked her if she really liked how he looked and she said that that was part of the reason she liked him. the other reason was b/c he gave her more freedom then her asian boyfriends. I don't care if I was free to shit on the guys face I still wouldn't date him!!!!
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If I don't see it, it's not illegal.

MixxDreamer wrote:

this is pretty common in the philippines, and i know anywhere in Asia too, but im speaking from what i see.. specially if theres lots of american tourists, and from what i hear gossips from my relatives, if its not love.. some women just like to get married with status, show off, or they want a beautiful baby someday

Another possible reason is that it would give them a ticket out of the country. Coming to the US on a tourist visa is a long process of many. The marriage to an American (for example) would bring them to the front of the visa line.

lifunk wrote:

I couldn't agree more. It goes the same for the asian chick trying to find a hot white guy to date. My friend is asian and she is dating the ugliest white guy you can possibly image. (think along the lines of peewee herman ugly) I asked her if she really liked how he looked and she said that that was part of the reason she liked him. the other reason was b/c he gave her more freedom then her asian boyfriends. I don't care if I was free to shit on the guys face I still wouldn't date him!!!!

dayem girl...that was hella funny! but i totally feel you in the sense that it is the flip side of the SAME coin. it almost makes you wonder if the person is truly seeking something alterior so is willing to put up with the fact they're going out with a Monet...good from far, but far from good.

hahah i agree, i feel ya.. i asked my gold diggin aunt how she thinks about her ugly bfs cuz i know she talks about 'sleeping with him' ugh.. i was like... she said she didnt mind cuz he bought her a house. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuu
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Hmmm so what you are saying here is that it is acceptable for an Asian to date a non-Asian as long as they are both good looking. But if either one of them got hit up side the head with the ugly stick then it is frowned upon. Is that right?

MixxDreamer wrote:

hahah i agree, i feel ya.. i asked my gold diggin aunt how she thinks about her ugly bfs cuz i know she talks about 'sleeping with him' ugh.. i was like... she said she didnt mind cuz he bought her a house. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuu

whomp there it is...whomp

Enna wrote:

Hmmm so what you are saying here is that it is acceptable for an Asian to date a non-Asian as long as they are both good looking. But if either one of them got hit up side the head with the ugly stick then it is frowned upon. Is that right?

no dont take that personally, its not that at all, we're just joking.. plus issues like this are pretty common, specially in asia.. i do wonder why they get with ugly women? could it be that the pretty ones were either taken, or have high standards so they stick with the ugly ones. (thats just my guess) and the common people i've heard from families are the ones i stated above.

sorry dont mean to sound like im all that cuz im not.
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Enna wrote:

Hmmm so what you are saying here is that it is acceptable for an Asian to date a non-Asian as long as they are both good looking. But if either one of them got hit up side the head with the ugly stick then it is frowned upon. Is that right?

nah not at all...i just think that ppl have these socially preconceived notions of what is and what isn't....ppl are entitled to what they like of course...it's just i've heard or seen so many examples of ppl touting something for what it is not....

just like the whole notion of asian women being "exotic" ..man that has got to be one of modern society's most hackneyed, trite fuggin' adjective....it's like as long as i have an asian girlfriend even if she's busted...she's desirable because she's exotic....

that's why i brought up that example....of going abroad....ppl be talkin all this mess about how there are all these good looking girls as if it's some sort of paradise...i mean come on be realistic.....

dochira wrote:

Another possible reason is that it would give them a ticket out of the country. Coming to the US on a tourist visa is a long process of many. The marriage to an American (for example) would bring them to the front of the visa line.

Yeah, the ex tried to get me to help her with resident status, since she was on a f1?j1? visa.
So technically, i was in a position of power. her trying to get me to marry her would have been an upgrading of her status... though im not white.