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bmwracer wrote:^ Single is a lot better than married, IMO.

Yea... true... I suppose our experience did show us that...

But something the woman in me forgets. :pout:

Wynter wrote:
But something the woman in me forgets. :pout:

Well Nagase didn't marry Ayu....chance ga aru.

bmwracer wrote:^ Single is a lot better than married, IMO.

Both have their good points :sweat:

Although i've now been married longer than i've been single :shocked:

Anime Dad wrote:

Both have their good points :sweat:

Healthy Japanese relationship:

[image]

bmwracer wrote:^ Single is a lot better than married, IMO.

Maybe I'm naive and idealistic, but probably because I've never been in that situation, I think the opposite at times. I mean, being single may be great, but there are times when it gets lonely and you just want to have someone to care about.

Which brings me to my next topic. I saw a couple of regular patients today when the woman came to get her glasses. Her boyfriend had a stroke and she had to help him sit down and get up. It seemed like he couldn't even speak. It was so heartbreaking to see him in that condition since last year he was so energetic and talkative, but it was touching to see her take care of him so well. After they left, I had tears of sadness in my eyes. The whole situation just made me think that it would be nice to have someone like that around to be there for me and vice versa. Someone to share things with and stuff like that. I think this is just wishful thinking for me.

Single can be pretty boring.

Not bad... but boring.

Then again, when I wasn't single I used to find a lot of excuses to go off by myself.

sadacori wrote:Maybe I'm naive and idealistic, but probably because I've never been in that situation, I think the opposite at times. I mean, being single may be great, but there are times when it gets lonely and you just want to have someone to care about.

That's probably true... Which is why you have to keep yourself occupied.

Ever since my dad passed, my mom has been really lonely, but she pretty much doesn't do anything to keep herself occupied: she just dwells on the past... And it's been nearly ten years.

I think she'd rather be miserable than to get out of her funk. :shakehead:

bmwracer wrote:
That's probably true... Which is why you have to keep yourself occupied.

Ever since my dad passed, my mom has been really lonely, but she pretty much doesn't do anything to keep herself occupied: she just dwells on the past... And it's been nearly ten years.

I think she'd rather be miserable than to get out of her funk. :shakehead:

That's too bad. I know it's really hard to lose a spouse after having been married for a long time. When my dad died a few years ago, my mom was really good about going to groups where other people's spouses had also died. I know it was really hard on her after 29 years with him, but I think it helped her get through that difficult time much more easily.

You may suggest something similar to your mom - of course, she's gotta want to get over it. There are lots of similar groups out there, too.

Because of my self-centeredness, I failed to think thoroughly about beem's post regarding his mother. I agree with phlargo's post that going to a group may help her. Or going out with friends or taking up a hobby might even help her. I think applying this to anyone's life would help them; I know the hobby thing (Japanese and Jdramas) gets my mind off of things sometimes.

phlargo wrote:That's too bad. I know it's really hard to lose a spouse after having been married for a long time. When my dad died a few years ago, my mom was really good about going to groups where other people's spouses had also died. I know it was really hard on her after 29 years with him, but I think it helped her get through that difficult time much more easily.

You may suggest something similar to your mom - of course, she's gotta want to get over it. There are lots of similar groups out there, too.

Well that's her main problem: she'd rather wallow instead of trying to change things. :shakehead:

bmwracer wrote:
Well that's her main problem: she'd rather wallow instead of trying to change things. :shakehead:

Yeah... she does have to make that choice to change. It can be really hard decide to make such a big change.

phlargo wrote:Yeah... she does have to make that choice to change. It can be really hard decide to make such a big change.

Especially at her age... But we've always encouraged her, yet she's resistant.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. :sweat:

bmwracer wrote:
Especially at her age... But we've always encouraged her, yet she's resistant.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. :sweat:

Sadly no... but maybe she'll turn the corner eventually. Just don't give up on being encouraging. I know it really helped my mom that I came back to California for two years after law school to, more or less, help her on her way.

bmwracer wrote:
Especially at her age... But we've always encouraged her, yet she's resistant.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. :sweat:

It's really sad how people want to help someone and they don't listen either because they're defiant or because they're in depression. That pretty much sums up my life. :sweat:

On another topic: I think my niece is so adorable. I think I scared her at first (she used to cry when she saw me at times :sweat:), but now she seems to like playing with my long hair and my bracelets. :)

Is that her in your avi? KAWAII!!!

Anime Dad wrote:Is that her in your avi? KAWAII!!!

She's trying to put her foot in her mouth. Who does she think she is, Sarah Palin? [/list:u]

Anime Dad wrote:Is that her in your avi? KAWAII!!!

Yup. :D But I better delete it because I'm not sure if my brother is cool with her pic being online. :sweat:

gaijinmark wrote: She's trying to put her foot in her mouth. Who does she think she is, Sarah Palin? [/list:u]

She's not trying. She is. :mrgreen: And that was a good one. :rofl:

Stupid:

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'Zack and Miri' Banned in Utah
by Jonathan Crow | October 30, 2008

Zack and Miri Make a Porno If you're looking forward to seeing Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks in director Kevin Smith's new R-rated comedy "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" this weekend and you live in Salt Lake City, you might be out of luck. Utah Jazz and Megaplex Theaters owner Larry Miller has refused to book the film. The chain's spokesman Cal Gunderson expressed concerns about the film with The New York Post, citing the film's "graphic nudity and graphic sex" and that it was "too close to an NC-17."

The company's standards seem a little odd considering that the chain had no problems screening ultra-violent fare like "Saw V," which features beheadings and explicit self-mutilation. When asked why Megaplex Theaters did not object to the gory horror sequel, Gunderson had no comment.
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Blood, gore, and violence are fine.... Sex isn't.

How idiotic is that? :shakehead:

bmwracer wrote:Stupid:

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'Zack and Miri' Banned in Utah
by Jonathan Crow | October 30, 2008

Zack and Miri Make a Porno If you're looking forward to seeing Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks in director Kevin Smith's new R-rated comedy "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" this weekend

That means the R-rated cheetos are out too.

How idiotic is that? :shakehead:

America has long had a love affair with violence in its media that is more perverse than a bit o' sex.

They need to open some love hotels, soaplands, and maid cafes to straighten ppl out. We've accepted anime, this is the next logical step. :hehe:

bmwracer wrote:
Especially at her age... But we've always encouraged her, yet she's resistant.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. :sweat:

What you said is true, but it helps to understand why people are stubborn. I didn't understand for years and this may not be the right explanation, but people are stubborn for a reason, because that's the only way they know how to live. They want to see things and the world in a certain way (even if it means being miserable or depressed). And if it was any different, they wouldn't know how to cope/deal with it. And of course, change is scary, particularly for those who haven't changed for a long time. Well, that's my 2 cents.