Got Something You Want To Say?
Started by ahochaude · 23 Nov 2003 · 35,048 replies
General Discussion
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eightysix wrote:I'm with you guys. Everyone vote! :beaten: :hehe:
You betcha. :applaud: :D
We should start the jdorama anti-bush campaign :hehe: :hehe:
Makes me wonder who even voted for that guy :crazy:
Makes me wonder who even voted for that guy :crazy:
eltinator wrote:We should start the jdorama anti-bush campaign :hehe: :hehe:
Makes me wonder who even voted for that guy :crazy:
All the unimportant states in the south no one gives a damn about. :hehe:
Don't know if you all read this or not, but this was my first time and I thought it was pretty funny. Sure had me feeling a lot better after my boss screwed up my weekend by having me come to work tomorrow. (my Sunday, mind you) So I hope this can do the same to another who had a crappy day/week whatever. Enjoy.
Anger management at it's best!
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter? " Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone company. I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first a--hole, ( I had his number on speed dial ), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1. "Hello." "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a--hole." Then I called asshole #2. "Hello?" he said. "Hello, a--hole," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!" "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 3 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two a--holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew. NOW, I feel better. Anger management really works.
Thank you very much.
Anger management at it's best!
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter? " Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone company. I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first a--hole, ( I had his number on speed dial ), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1. "Hello." "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a--hole." Then I called asshole #2. "Hello?" he said. "Hello, a--hole," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!" "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 3 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two a--holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew. NOW, I feel better. Anger management really works.
Thank you very much.
:applaud: Aho..that's a good article...hmmm..I'm quite short tempered myself, perhaps I should try to dial random number and yelled something on the other side, as long as they don't track back my number. :sweat: That is so hilarious! :lol:
Akakage wrote::applaud: Aho..that's a good article...hmmm..I'm quite short tempered myself, perhaps I should try to dial random number and yelled something on the other side, as long as they don't track back my number. :sweat: That is so hilarious! :lol:
Yeah, that short had me laughing. Sounds interesting too. Hmmmmm.......... *evil laughter*
ahochaude wrote:
Yeah, that short had me laughing. Sounds interesting too. Hmmmmm.......... *evil laughter*
:hehe: :beaten:
How's your weekend so far anyway? :) Mine has been so so..just a walk on a beach..oh boy the weather was freaking hot I almost burn my skin.
Akakage wrote:My weekend started off with way too much alcohol. Lost my best pair of shades and almost lost my cellphone too. Ended up in the beach swimming around all drunk last night. Now I have to work tomorrow 'cause my boss wanted to fuck up my weekend by cutting it short and sending me to the office tomorrow to relieve. :(
:hehe: :beaten:
How's your weekend so far anyway? :) Mine has been so so..just a walk on a beach..oh boy the weather was freaking hot I almost burn my skin.
ahochaude wrote:My weekend started off with way too much alcohol. Lost my best pair of shades and almost lost my cellphone too. Ended up in the beach swimming around all drunk last night. Now I have to work tomorrow 'cause my boss wanted to fuck up my weekend by cutting it short and sending me to the office tomorrow to relieve. :(
Almost lost your cellphone? :beaten: Hehehe..this is interesting, I went to the beach feeling awful because of the weather, while you were swimming around drunk in the sea which I believe you were enjoying that moment ;)
At least your day at the beach is far more interesting than mine :(
Eh?..sending you back to the office? Now that's evil! hmm..sounds like Kill Boss, Vol 2. :hehe:
Akakage wrote:Actually, I regret going into the water last nite. Lost a pack of cigs too. But can't blame me, the later half of last nite is a blank.
Almost lost your cellphone? :beaten: Hehehe..this is interesting, I went to the beach feeling awful because of the weather, while you were swimming around drunk in the sea which I believe you were enjoying that moment ;)
At least your day at the beach is far more interesting than mine :(
Eh?..sending you back to the office? Now that's evil! hmm..sounds like Kill Boss, Vol 2. :hehe:
ahochaude wrote:Actually, I regret going into the water last nite. Lost a pack of cigs too. But can't blame me, the later half of last nite is a blank.
:nut: one pack of cigs..I'd bang my head for that. You almost lost a lot of things last night.
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Ugh. Knucklehead boss is going through PMS again.
You could replace her with a plant and nobody would notice the difference. Grrrr.
You could replace her with a plant and nobody would notice the difference. Grrrr.
bmwracer wrote:Ugh. Knucklehead boss is going through PMS again.hate to sound chauvanist, but she can't be THAT bad, right? how does she look? You're single, good looking guy right? ;) Maybe she would be so bad if you give her what she needs...LOL!
You could replace her with a plant and nobody would notice the difference. Grrrr.
niko2x wrote:hate to sound chauvanist, but she can't be THAT bad, right? how does she look? You're single, good looking guy right? ;) Maybe she would be so bad if you give her what she needs...LOL!
So have sex with the boss? Hahaha, if she wasn't too bad looking then that wouldn't be such a bad idea. Could even get you a raise while you're at it :hehe: :hehe:
eltinator wrote:Hahaha, if she wasn't too bad looking then that wouldn't be such a bad idea. Could even get you a raise while you're at it :hehe: :hehe:great advice, right? this coming from the lowest man on the totem pole... :beaten: :beaten:
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