Promises
There she was, her hair billowing in the wind as she threw her head back and laughed heartily at the recently told joke. Her eyes twinkled brightly and her laughter rang clearly into the air like silver bells.
My heart contracted with the intense love I felt for her. I never knew or understood what love was and would laugh at those who acted foolishly in front of the girls their hearts had been given to. Now I’m eating my words back and am now categorized under the same ‘fools’ I’ve once laughed at. Maybe now, I’m a bigger fool than any of them.
She was, after all the first girl who had shown true love for me. She loved me for who I truly was, looking beyond the popularity and fame that surrounded me. Sure, thousands of girls claimed that they loved V6, but never would have any of them love V6 after enduring what she had endured. No, they would have run away wishing they’ve never known the name V6 after knowing only the skin of V6.
It never ceases to amaze me how that ordinary girl managed to wiggle her way into our hearts. It was no wonder really. That a plain girl like her would become the center of V6. But not many people knew why. In fact nobody except us. Each and every one of us, cared for her in our own special way. We all loved her, but not necessarily in the way of lovers nor friends, no, we loved her deeper than people with those in a relationship.
Let me explain why, you see, before she magically appeared in our lives, the 6 of us had a gash between us. Yes, in the public’s eye, we were close and happy. But away from the camera’s we were each individuals who were separated. No matter what we did, somehow we couldn’t just communicate as well. We were V6 in name but not in heart.
But when she came smashing into us, colliding her simple world with ours, things began to change. She became the bridge between the 6 of us, linking us together and making us unbreakable. We became stronger because of her. We learned how to open our hearts and our friendship grew stronger. She melted the ice in us, convincing us somehow that we do care what happens to each other, that we actually loved each other. She convinced us to accept ourselves for who we truly are and she didn’t try to hide the ugliness of humanity from us, instead she enhanced it and changed it to something beautiful and pure. Our pain and sufferings melted just by the touch of her hand.
So what if she wasn’t as beautiful as the woman who surrounded us? So what is she wasn’t famous? People are often blinded by all the fake beauty and happiness around them. Trusting only their eyes but not their hearts. A blind man could have been wiser than one who could see. For the blind sees what is inside, felt what was within instead of looking at the deceiving outer appearance of human beings.
Those people who laughed at her scornfully when she walked past them and whispered cruel gossip when she hung out with us are the ones at lost. For they would never truly experience the pureness that she gave. An angel in our lives. They are the unlucky ones.
But most of all, I’m the luckiest. For she had chosen me to give her heart to which I eagerly accepted. A person who had so much to give was mine to keep. Even though there are times that I’ve to share her with the other 5, she was truly mine at heart.
“What are you staring at?” Ken’s voice broke my peaceful thoughts and handed me a cold can of soda.
“Nothing….” I answered, allowing the cool liquid slid down my throat.
“She looks happy…”Ken observed and I found myself smiling.
“Yes…I guess she is.”
Juinichi and Go were teasing each other mercilessly while she stood by the side laughing.
Marsa and Hiroshi were busy trying to keep the food flowing at the barbeque pit. Ken and I stood up and headed down towards them and offered our help.
2 hours later, the food were gone and we were left with feeling full and happy. After clearing up the pit, we headed opposite the road towards our van.
Just as we were crossing our road, a horrified scream rang through the air and we saw a woman screaming as her daughter ran into the road just as an oncoming car came turning around the corner. It was obvious the driver couldn’t break in time.
Suddenly, just like a flash of lightning, she ran towards the child, before I could stop her and pushed her out of the way into her mother’s safety. I watched in stunned horror as the car crashed into her and everything suddenly went into slow motion. As if I was watching a bad horror movie in replay.
She flew into the air like a rag doll, her mouth opened in a silent scream before dropping down onto the ground and rolling a few feet before coming to a stop. I ran towards her without a second thought and as I picked her up in my arms gently, she looked at me and her eyes fluttered shut.
“NO!!!! BABY….!!!” I heard a terrified scream and realized it was my own.
As I cradled her in my arms, Masa called the ambulance as Go felt for her pulse. “She’s alive….” He whispered, his own face looking pale.
There was nothing I could comprehend at that moment. The world seemed to have disappeared and I was numb. I couldn’t feel. Even when the paramedics gently pull me away, I didn’t feel anything. Nothing at all.
The red light outside the emergency room blinked ominously back at me. It’s been 4 hours and the doctor isn’t out yet. The longer it took, does that mean….
No…I can’t think of the worst possibility. She’s not someone who gives up. She’ll fight to the very end.
“DAMNIT! WHAT’S TAKING THEM SO LONG?!” Masa exclaimed banging his fist on the wall.
I ignored him and trained my eyes at the door, as if willing it to open. I felt a hand on my shoulders but that wasn’t enough to make me look away from the door.
Ken was sitting on the bench, his head in his hand while Go was leaning against the window, looking out at the sun setting. His white shirt was stained slightly from her blood, a reminder of the horrible accident. But then again, my shirt didn’t look any better than his. Because I was holding her tightly, half of my shirt had her blood on it.
Juinichi suddenly appeared, holding a tray of cups. “Here…” he said softly, offering a steaming hot cup of coffee to Masa who took it gratefully.
He approached each of them and when he finally got to me, he placed it in my hands and I looked down only to realize that my hands were shaking. Juinichi noticed that too and quickly took the cup from my hands.
“Inocchi, you need to drink something…maybe you should change your shirt…” He suggested. When he got no reply from me, he sighed softly to himself and sat down next to me.
At the moment I thought I was going to burst with anxiety, the red light turned green and the door opened. I sprang to my feet and was by the doctor’s side in a flash.
“Doctor…how…how is she?” I asked nervously.
He looked up at me with kind and sympathetic eyes. “Are you her family?”
“We’re the only family she got….”Hiroshi said and he nodded, understanding the situation we were in.
“Her condition is stable right now…” he said and I felt a woosh of relief past through me. “But…”
My eyes widened. But what? But…????
Taking a deep breathe, the doctor looked at me. “But, the impact of the accident cause some brain damage.”
“What does that mean?” Masa asked.
“First of all, she’s in a coma…and we’re not sure when she’ll wake up. Even if she does, she’ll probably not remember any of you. We won’t know how her situation is unless she regains conciousness.”
“Are you saying she’ll have amnesia?” Ken demanded.
The doctor shrugged. “In some cases, the patient might have amnesia…but in some….they’ll have to start all over again. In other words, she’ll be like a baby, having to learn how to walk, eat and talk all over again because the main artery in her brain is severely damaged.”
I couldn’t breathe. Why can’t I breathe? And why is the whole room spinning out of control?
“Inocchi…” Go exclaimed as his face came in view before everything went black.
I don’t know how long I had passed out but when I came to, I was staring at the familiar surroundings of my room. I sat up, thinking it was probably all a bad nightmare and she would be in the living room, puttering around like she used to.
I threw the blankets off me and ran into the living room. The person in the living room wasn’t her, but 5 guys who were talking in low voices. Hiroshi looked up and saw me.
“Hey, you’re awake.” He said, standing up.
“Where is she? She went out to buy something?” I asked, sitting down.
They all fell silent and looked at me with worry. “Inocchi…”Go started to say and I looked at him quizzically.
Suddenly, it dawned upon me. It wasn’t a nightmare. It was real. I looked up and saw my blood stained shirt in a crumpled ball on the laundry basket. It was real…..
“I…I need to get to her.” I stammered, standing up but Juinichi pulled at my hands.
“Inocchi…we need to tell you something.” He said. “You’ve been out for 3 days.”
“WHAT?!” I shouted. 3 days? Shit….
“She’s regained consciousness…”Masa explained.
I felt my heart starting to beat faster. She’s awake. That’s a good thing…right?
“But….” Juinichi stood up and looked at me carefully. “But…she’s different now Inocchi…She’s not the same.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, although I knew the answer already. “She has amnesia?”
Ken shook his head. “No….she’s empty…”
“Empty…” I echoed after him.
“Yes….empty….” he repeated, looking sorry.
“I… I need to go to her now…” I told them.
Go stood up and took his car keys. “I’ll take you. You’re in no condition to drive.” He offered and I looked at him giving him my silent thank you.
During the car ride to the hospital, I couldn’t stop my mind from whirling with questions. It’s impossible she don’t recognize me right? After all, she loves me. You can’t possibly forget the one you love…right?
*Flashback*
“I love you Inocchi…” she said, cuddling me and letting out a contented sigh. “I wish I would be with you again for the next lifetime and the next and the next….because I know…when we meet again, we’ll recognize each other…coz our love will bring us together again.”
*End of Flashback*
Yes….she’ll recognize me because our love will bring her back to her senses. This life time and the next, we’ve made a promise to be together again. She won’t leave me now. She’s never one to break any promises.
“Hey…Inocchi…”Go said, breaking the silence. “I just urm…”
“What?” I prodded.
“Well, I just want you to be ready…coz she’s really different now….”he looked away sadly.
“No….she’s not different. She’ll always be my angel…she only needs to see me again…that’s all…” I said confidently.
He looked as if he wanted to say something else but he bit his lips and went all silent on me.
“You guys just don’t understand the power of our love…” I told him.
We reached the hospital and I got down from the car and walked hurriedly towards her room.
I’ve imagined it in my ride over, she’ll look up, and our eyes will meet and then she’ll recognize me. A smile would appear on her face and we’ll hug and she will get all better.
But as I opened the door, I wasn’t expecting that sight. There she was, sitting on the bed, except she didn’t look up when I walked in nor did she smile. I walked slowly towards her, calling her name which she didn’t reply to.
As I neared, I looked into the eyes and almost fell back. They were right….she was different. There she was, sitting there in person, but as I looked into that eyes I’ve spent months gazing into, I knew…I just knew that wasn’t her anymore.
I slumped into the seat and tears started to roll down my cheeks. She was gone….she broke her promise. She left me.
She suddenly turned her head and looked at me with that vacant eyes of hers. There wasn’t any more glow or shine anymore.
“Why…” I asked her as she stared at me with a blank expression. “Why did you leave me?” I grabbed her shoulders and started to shake her. “Why did you break your promise?”
“YOU PROMISED!!!” I cried frantically, shaking her so hard that a normal person would protest and fight back, but she didn’t. “HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME? HOW COULD YOU MAKE PROMISES LIKE THAT AND BREAK THEM?!?!”
“INOCCHI!!!” Masa shouted, grabbing me and pulling me away. “STOP THAT YOU’RE HURTING HER!” he tried to make me stop struggling. I was beyond being sane right now.
She looked at Juinichi and reached her hands out for him and hugged him tightly when he walked closer. I scared her. I frightened her.
“NO!!!! SHE WOULDN’T DO THIS TO ME. SHE WOULDN’T BREAK OUR PROMISE!!!” I screamed, trying to break free from Masa’s grip.
*SlAp*
My head snapped back in shock. Hiroshi was looking equally as shocked as well. He had just slapped me.
“You’re frightening her…”he said and I looked at her who was in Juinichi’s arms, covering her face while he whispered soothing words into her ears.
I shook my head. “That’s not her….” I whispered.
“Sit down.” Masa ordered, pushing me into the chair. “Now listen to us.” He said.
Ken poured me a glass of water and handed it to me.
“The doctor said there’s no cure….her brain is damaged…basically…she’s trapped in her own world right now….a child who knows nothing….her memories is 0%.” Masa said looking at her. “She’s stuck on Juinichi because he was here when she opened her eyes and he’s the only person she allows near her….”
“Don’t think differently though…”Hiroshi quickly added as if reading my thoughts. “The doctor said, she takes onto him like a child to its mother. That’s all. She doesn’t know how to feel anymore….”
“So what? I’ve to wait for 20 years till she grows up again?” I asked.
“No….she’ll never grow up. She’s going to be like this…for the rest of her life.” He answered.
I closed my eyes and tried to allow the words to sink in. The harsh reality to hit me in the face.
It took me 2 weeks to finally come to realization that no matter what, she will always be an empty shell. But she’s what that’s left of her past and I can’t leave her now.
I looked down at her as she happily plucked at the flower. “Baby…are you cold?” I asked but she continued plucking the flower.
I sighed softly and reached down to pull the blanket over her legs. “Remember how we used to love coming to the beach?” I asked, pushing the wheelchair down the long stretch of pavement, overlooking the beach.
“You always said that it gave you much peace to be here….and if one day you were to die, you would want to scatter your ashes here….”
She blinked a few times and smiled. It finally took a few days for her to warm up to me. In the beginning, she refused to see me, but after much coaxing from Juinichi, she slowly allow me to feed her and sit next to her. Now, she’s leaving with me.
Yes, I’ve decided to take care of her. She is after all my love. I married her 3 days ago. She’s my wife now…but it would be better if I married her soul as well.
“We’re going to be together again….soon….” I promised her, closing my eyes and opening it again.
The sun was setting and I bent down to carry her in my arms. “Soon, when I look into that eyes, it will be ‘you’ staring back at me….”
I slowly walked towards the ocean and the first wave hit my feet. “We’ll be together…for eternity…” I whispered, walking deeper into the water, she shirked as the cold water touched her but I gripped onto her tightly.
“Don’t worry baby…I will never let you go…” I told her and she calmed down.
By now the water was up to my shoulders and I looked into her vacant eyes. “Please forgive me for doing this…but I need you to know that I love you…and I want to be with you again…” I said, tears falling from my eyes and into the ocean water.
With that, I took my final step into the ocean and allowed the water to envelope us. For, nothing is going to tear us apart. Even death itself.
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