Love/Relationship/Potential Relationship Advice

i never had the "my back hurst" speech ..but i hear its VERYY common....

My friend Rachel always gives me that speech, and I'm just like "Bitch, I wish I had your probelm" :hehe:

Precious Bamboo wrote:
My friend Rachel always gives me that speech, and I'm just like "Bitch, I wish I had your probelm" :hehe:

:rofl: :lol:


i wish u had her problem 2..... jk

Precious Bamboo wrote: "Bitch, I wish I had your probelm" :hehe:

wow....kinda harsh eh?
:mrgreen:

kndy-nt2099 wrote:

Personally, I'm glad the teacher told. It's his job! If you want to confess and want someone not to squeel...go to a church and go to confession. Talk to your best friend....but you don't confide in a teacher when the person you are interested in is his/her co-worker.

kndy

Yes! Exactly.

That wasn't a very smart thing to do. At least he can take it as a learning experience.

ahochaude wrote:Bottom line..................................


"LOVE IS ALWAYS UNFAIR!!!!"

kndy wrote:Love means never to say your sorry. If you look at love at always being unfair, you're never going to find happiness.

I've been with the greatest woman in my life for years and not sure how your love life has been but it sounds like you have been hurt or you have had a bad experience to look at love in such as "unfair". Love does hurt sometimes but when you meet that special someone, it's the greatest!

Yeah, I've had my share of being hurt and all. But so has anybody and everybody! That's how people learn about things. And that's what helps them in being able to make whatever decisions they encounter in "the game of love".
But to let you know, I'm with a wonderful girl for 2 years already. She lives in Japan and I live in Hawaii. It's been that way since she left for Japan only after 6 months we hooked up. But everything is going fine! Thanks for your concern.
But it seems to me that you're speaking on a biased point of view since your love life is going so well. But as far as Fans91's situation I'm only trying to accomidate him on what's going on with his situation. Being all "giddy" isn't going to help him at this point. Dude is only 17. Think about the experience he has. (Which is probably zilch) Think about the times when your love life hasn't gone so good. What do you have to reflect upon those times? Hey, nothings perfect, so don't speak as it is.
Gotta let the guy know that it's not all roses! If you do otherwise, you're just "candy coating" the whole ordeal.

ahochaude wrote:Bottom line..................................
"LOVE IS ALWAYS UNFAIR!!!!"

i forget how it feel like to fall in love again..i mean really really falling for some one...it has been a long times since i had that kind of feeling..
when this guy came to me...i didnt feel nothing...
and when i finally falling for him he's not around...
and he's came again to me...i olready lost that feeling...
:crazy2:

exactly unfair...at least for me....

ahochaude wrote:

But it seems to me that you're speaking on a biased point of view since your love life is going so well. But as far as Fans91's situation I'm only trying to accomidate him on what's going on with his situation. Being all "giddy" isn't going to help him at this point. Dude is only 17. Think about the experience he has. (Which is probably zilch) Think about the times when your love life hasn't gone so good. What do you have to reflect upon those times? Hey, nothings perfect, so don't speak as it is.
Gotta let the guy know that it's not all roses! If you do otherwise, you're just "candy coating" the whole ordeal.

Hi ahochaude,

I was zeroing in on your "love is always unfair"...more so on the "always". You are right, not every relationship is going to be a bed of roses .

I understand your point and what your intentions are and showing Fans 91 that things may not be all fine and dandy.

Granted, we could also have different perspectives and expectations of what love is as well but in fairness, I don't mind sharing past relationships that did not end in a "happy ending" to dispell that "candy coating".

a) I'm Filipino and I was dating a Japanese woman who I cared for greatly, her parents were against her having a relationship with a person who is Filipino and that continuing on with this relationship would be forbidden in her family. I guess in their mind, all Filipinos were domestic workers. Unfortunately, their perception of Filipino was negative and thus they made her choose between family or me. I made the decision because I always felt family was important and I ended the relationship. Regret? I switch back and forth of whether I was right or wrong but I felt that she has had a great bond with her family, I didn't want to break that bond. She can always find another boyfriend...not another family...which I kept telling myself at that time. b) Another was a woman who went to school in the US but had to return to Japan. My intention was to work in Japan but you know, having experienced long distance relationships that never have worked and wanting to focus my time and energy climbing the corporate ladder in the US, I felt that it was best to end the relationship. c) When I was a lot younger, there was a beautiful girl who worked at the same restaurant that I worked. The click of guys had a bet who can win the girls affection and it was like for ten cents. I started dating the girl and through our dating, I realize how incredible she was. We had a relationship until one day I went to work and she was waiting for me at the table, the guys were there to congratulate me on winning the bet and said it very loud and she heard everything. She was truly devastated and pissed off and she has ever right so. We broke up. Many months later, we got back together, I was at a party and a few girls were with me and all flirting with me and they asked me if I was single or if I was in a relationship and told them I was in a relationship with a girl they knew. All of a sudden they were taken back because they were telling me that at a beach party, she was making out with another guy hardcore. I approached her about it and was so pissed off and pretty hurt and she said said it was true and when I asked why, she said, "Now you know how I felt!" (touche!)

I selected these three relationships to show that love was not the reasons for being unfair...sometimes it can be the person, and that person was me. If for these situations, I blamed it on love...that would be a great thing to blame it on but I don't. I blame the situations on myself and the choices I have made.

As for Fan91, ahochaude is correct, being in a relationship doesn't mean you will be experiencing fantastic moments because there are challenges.

For some people, they can meet one person and be with that person for the rest of their lives. For some, they can be in many relationships and with each partner, the definition and perspective of love can change. But no matter the situation, there are indeed challenges and for some they can experience heartbreak but on the other side of the rainbow, when things are going great and you both feel that you have found each other as the person to share your life with, then love can truly be spectacular, passionate and makes life even much more worth living.

kndy

kndy-nt2099 wrote:

Hi ahochaude,

I was zeroing in on your "love is always unfair"...more so on the "always". You are right, not every relationship is going to be a bed of roses .

I understand your point and what your intentions are and showing Fans 91 that things may not be all fine and dandy.

Granted, we could also have different perspectives and expectations of what love is as well but in fairness, I don't mind sharing past relationships that did not end in a "happy ending" to dispell that "candy coating".

And what goes with love goes the same with life! Nothing's so "dandy". If it were, there'd be no such thing like homeless people for example. That's what Fans91 has to realize. Too bad it was such a hard blow to him. But better early than late huh?

It's too bad that it's not all "dandy" though huh?!

kndy-nt2099 wrote:As for Fan91, ahochaude is correct, being in a relationship doesn't mean you will be experiencing fantastic moments because there are challenges.

For some people, they can meet one person and be with that person for the rest of their lives. For some, they can be in many relationships and with each partner, the definition and perspective of love can change. But no matter the situation, there are indeed challenges and for some they can experience heartbreak but on the other side of the rainbow, when things are going great and you both feel that you have found each other as the person to share your life with, then love can truly be spectacular, passionate and makes life even much more worth living.

kndy

Excellent analysis/revealation! :applaud:

Basically, it's just to do what you want but be prepared if it doesn't work out.

Kndy, wow! You had some tough times too huh? I had my share as well!
But at least we had our "share" of it all (ignorant statement) and everything's all right with us now huh?! :)
Only the future can tell what lies before us.


P.S. Kndy: Sorry if my earlier post was misleading.

max_san wrote:knew her 6 months>>>i juz cant 4get her coz so damn in love wf her....n she loves me so much also,we juz so in love wf each other n i juz dont understand y she dont wanna try 2b wf me...n still sticking wf her old bf.....she told all her reasons y she cant b wf me,n the best reason(i guess) is that her old bf had done so many thgs(challenging type of guy :applaud:) 2 get her heart....n she juz dont understand y did juz falling in love 2 me without me doing special(i guess)

I DO LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!

teru2bozu,i know u will c this(forum)...
i telling u that i need u so much,n im telling the world that i miss u sososo much,,,,more than u missing me rite now......

juz please meet me after this,juz tell me that u wana c me again,pls :( :( :( :( :( :(

:crazy: Is this a real life drama or what??! :nut:

Jeez, it's more like reality T.V./message board.......... :nut: :hehe: :P :hehe: :beaten:

I got lost in this a long time ago..... :crazy: :crazy2:

max_san wrote:knew her 6 months>>>i juz cant 4get her coz so damn in love wf her....n she loves me so much also,we juz so in love wf each other n i juz dont understand y she dont wanna try 2b wf me...n still sticking wf her old bf.....she told all her reasons y she cant b wf me,n the best reason(i guess) is that her old bf had done so many thgs(challenging type of guy :applaud:) 2 get her heart....n she juz dont understand y did juz falling in love 2 me without me doing special(i guess)

I DO LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!

teru2bozu,i know u will c this(forum)...
i telling u that i need u so much,n im telling the world that i miss u sososo much,,,,more than u missing me rite now......

juz please meet me after this,juz tell me that u wana c me again,pls :( :( :( :( :( :(

Wow man! You're really hooked on her huh? How did she lay it down? Was she unsure/hesitant? If she was sure, man (sorry but) give it a rest. "Stalking her" and then declaring your love for her on a website where she asked others about you is kind of kooky!

But in any case, very interesting! Let us know what happens if she doesn't first!

max_san wrote:im in the topic,rite...let 's talk about my feelings here.....u really know me so much teru2bozu n u really took my heart away!do u know tat ur the ''dream girl'' of my life????_2nd guy here_ she juz wont c me again>>>>
juz feeling so crazy rite now :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
hey im the looser here,the looser is talking,hahahaha!!!!!

Wow! You really are strung up on this chick!

How old are you?

'Cause if you were like, 80 years old, I'd say keep at it!

But if you're only like, 17 or so (young like that), you got your whole life man! Forget her if she's gonna dis you like that! You'll find another one!

marecore wrote:As the saying goes....

With love nothing is impossible

;)

Thus said, even breakups aren't impossible! :hehe:

MixxDreamer wrote:where did all of this love questions came from all of a sudden? oh well :hehe:

Really yeah? Cupid thread, In Love with 2 Person thread, and the Love is Unfair thread. This forum has become a dating service all of a sudden. Or more like a Dr. Phil type thread.

MixxDreamer wrote:i agree with aho, hey ive been in a ldr too, hes in fl and im here in cali, we're gonna be 4 years this coming may 1st.. guess im one of those people who survived and still going strong.. yes u can trust the guy, as long as ure willing to put up everything, such as sacrifices, trust, and patience.. if ure sure enough, then go for it, this is actually the questions u ask urself, not everyone.. cuz ur heart would say it all for u.

and NO EXPECTATIONS, that will fall everything apart, and start having problems, believe me i had expectations before, but we love each other too much to let go, so all i did is patience. ~hope everything works well with u.

Wow! 4 years???!! I've only been in a long distance for a little over 1 1/2!! It's basically just a gamble right Mixx? You never can predict what's going to happen, but you just gotta try it if you feel as though it's worth it.

MixxDreamer wrote:hey ahochaude, u visit her twice a year? that must be tough :( my bf visits me every 2 weeks, sometimes 3 or in a month when hes busy.. shoot i only visit him once a year, when its my turn hehe.. cuz im broke and all.. :mrgreen:

Your boyfriend must be a rich guy!!! Although you and I are in the same boat in being "broke" and not being able to use funds to do that kind of stuff. Hey, we got bills to pay!!! :hehe: :beaten: Wish you the best of luck Mixx! 'Cause it is tough!

what's that song by luther vandross, "if you can't be with the one(s) you love, then love the one(s) you're with" LOL!

Love is really kinda hard ne :sweat:

thats kinda easy to say niko but hard to do, if u just love that certain person and the person loves u back, then there is no way i can find anybody else.. id understand to move on and find somebody else if the person is taken.

i dont think my bf is that rich, guess he just really saves up in advance, in a matter of time to really see me.. the trip is pretty cheap right now, from fl to cali, he gets like at least $100-200 for roundtrip, not bad right? though i dont have a job so its understandable, and dont think im a gold digger or anything, thats gotta be the lowest reason why u wanna be with a person..

but yeh aho, i understand ur place, a trip to japan cost alot!
u think 4 years is unbelievable?? i have a friend whose been in an 8 year relationship.. but well more power to them, and also more power to us who survived the trials and tribulations :mrgreen: KANPAI!

fatma wrote:dear fren i've got prob.... hehe love live far from me.. what should i do?? do u beleive long distace love??? can i trusr him??? plz2 tell me.... i'm confiuse n not sure...

Long distance relationships are difficult. I admire those who can keep those going...especially those who have relationships with others from a different country.

Trust is another issue. If you have had trust issues from friendship to relationships, then having a long distance relationship can be difficult because you have to trust the person you are with and vice versa.

I didn't want to bring this up but there's the emotional and the sex issue. I'm not going to spout anything from that book " Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (by John Gray)...but for many women, that emotional connection is important and it's hard when that person they love are not there. For men, it can be the sexual issue of not having that person you love there.

I'm not a believer in long distance relationships for me but I have known friends or people who have made it happen and they are happy. A friend from California recently married her boyfriend from Finland. Another is a Japanese who married her boyfriend from India. And a friend from Japan who struggles but continues to have a relationship with his girlfriend from Malaysia...but the struggles are not about distance for him, it's that she wants him to convert to Muslim.

But yeah, I've seen people make it happen and they are happy.

Good luck!

kndy

MixxDreamer wrote:where did all of this love questions came from all of a sudden?

I figure that many J-dorama viewers are passionate people or are people in need of more passion in their lives. :naughty:

well yeh i knew that, its just surprising that love threads starts to pop out of nowhere, i mean what aboutlast year's and the year before that, even if i wasnt a member at that time yet.. nah mean? j/w :mrgreen:

MixxDreamer wrote:well yeh i knew that, its just surprising that love threads starts to pop out of nowhere, i mean what aboutlast year's and the year before that, even if i wasnt a member at that time yet.. nah mean? j/w :mrgreen:

Yeah, instead of creating all of these new love threads, and if people are gonna keep on asking for the "love doctor" in the forum, they should just create one thread and title it ("whatevers" -'cause I'm not that creative) and ask for the Dr. Phils on this board to advise. Save time and save space.

C'mon my "love challenged" followers! 3 love threads are enough.