This is one of the responses to the Details stupidity on the website, it is freaking hilarious. Well done, Wil F., go sarcasm!
April 7, 2004
Details
c/o Daniel Peres, Editor-in-Chief
7 West 34th Street
New York, NY 10001
Dear Daniel:
I want to commend you on the humorous article, entitled, gAsian or Gayh in the April 2004 issue. If you folks are open to additional ideas, I would like to submit an idea that could promote the going concern of Details magazine by poking fun at everyone. As an Asian American growing up in the ghettos of New York City, I was exposed to various stereotypes early on. Just wondering? Did Whitney McNally live on my block? Anyway, my ideas, I thought, would make a great monthly series for Details Magazine. I remember a famous comedian once said backstage, gEqual bashing softens the blow in offensive stereotypical jokes.h So I came up with this idea: Why not bash everyone? Fuck em all! So Asians and Gays took it up the ass General Tso-style in the April issue. Why stop there? Please continue the bashing. Itfll be fun, donft you think? Whitney McNally, and your entire writing staff of Details Magazine should bash every goddamn ethnic group out there.
Whatfs in it for me, you ask? Forget about it! My service is free of charge. Ifll be more than thrilled just to see my ideas take form in Mayfs issue and the issues thereafter. I can see it now, your mail-boxes filling up with letters of accolades and praise from every ethnic group youfve bashed, probably just like it is full now, given Whitneyfs creative expose in your April issue. I canft imagine why other ethnic groups whether it be Caucasian, Hispanic, or African American, wouldnft find this article as funny as I did. Like I said, my ideas could do wonders for your magazine. Just imagine every one of your advertisers calling to place more ads in your magazine. Imagine the increased subscriptions and readership, all because you bashed the hell out of everyone. Here are my ideas to start you off:
(Ideas in parentheses make perfect sense for Detailsf advertising dollars. Why not make a pitch to these companiescjust another brilliant suggestion.)
1. Idea for June 2004 Issue: Refugee or Hispanic? Picture a young Tony Montana look alike, (A.k.a, Scarface), washing dishes at (Johnny Rockets or Papaya) and smoking a Cuban cigar. Hefs wearing a Versace T-shirt that says, gBanana Boat? Jew Got Da Wrong Guy Mangh This would be hilarious. Jew ged dee idea? Heh heh. Your (Goya loving and plantain eating) readers would just love this issue.
2. Idea for July 2004 Issue: Uncle Tom or Black? Picture a young African American Rhodes scholar donned in preppy (Ralph Lauren) clothing and trendy (Oliver Peoples) eyewear, standing in front of (Kentucky Fried Chicken or BoJangles or Chick-Fil-a). Next to him on the far right, is a watermelon or sweet potatoes stand. Wow, can you imagine the students at Howard University getting a hold of this issue. May I suggest you getting bigger mailboxes to prepare for the July issue?
3. Idea for May 2004 Issue: Trailer Trash or Caucasian? Picture a white male, Kid Rock look alike, wearing overalls (Osh-by-Gosh, maybe?), chewing on some (bubble gum or maybe tobacco?). Hefs got his middle finger up and pointed to the reader and his other hand is grabbing his crotch. Hefs wearing a bandana (Abercrombie & Fitch, maybe?) wrapped around the head with his unkempt hair revealed underneath. Hefs got (Vans) for sneakers or maybe some old skippies (i.e. Pro-Keds, are they still around? Can you have your fact-check check this?). Wow, can you imagine the advertising dollars you can make in this issue?
I admit my ideas for the above issues could use some of your editing. For that, I leave the creativity to you and your writing staff. Could I suggest that Whitney McNally continue writing the ethnic group bashing series? After all, shefs done such a wonderful job on us Asians in April. It would be a shame for her just to stop there. Write me in July, and Ifll come up with some additional ideas for the August, September, and October Issues. I was thinking, for August, gHungry or Hungarian?h just a play on words. What do you think? Let me know.
Yours Truly,
Wil Y.
Asian American
New York City
P.S. The title of gGay or Asianh indicates a mutually exclusive state of being. For your information, one can be gay and Asian at the same time. Why not put in an editorial in Mayfs issue indicating this error in judgment. A reworked title could be: Gay and or AsiancJust another thought. If you agree, Ifll rework the titles above.
cc: Whitney McNally