For anyone planning to join the corporate world in Japan, here are some of my personal dos and don'ts.
--It's not a good idea to be a woman.
--It's not a good idea to be a foreigner.
--It's not a good idea to be a maverick.
--It's a very bad idea to be all three.
--When your boss scolds you, no matter how irrational his logic, you must tell him that he is right and you're stupid. Insist on the last point.
--Since rape is illegal, bosses often use its verbal equivalent. When yours rips you apart, always show gratitude for his wisdom and insist that he is underestimating the degree of your own stupidity.
--When a female employee has been verbally raped and is weeping her heart out, don't get the idea of patting her on the back and telling her the boss is a (expletive omitted). If you do, she'll likely rip you apart because: 1) you're not supposed to notice she's weeping and 2) you showed disrespect toward the boss.
--Use western-type humor sparingly. Naïve me once asked my boss why only Office Ladies have to wear uniforms, since they all hate it. "Why don't you make men wear them too?" He stared at me with a disgusted expression as if I had just crawled out the sewers, and yelled, "This is the stupidest idea!"
Genma wrote:Also noticed that some people carry 2 umbrellas.. not sure why?
I have an interesting story about this: I got off work one day when it was pouring rain. I didn't have an umbrella, so this young guy offers me one of his. Since he had more than one I thought he was a company employee in charge of lending umbrellas to absent-minded employees like me. So I thanked him and took off with the umbrella. I noticed he looked a bit miffed. The next day I asked the receptionist where I should return the umbrella. She looked at me funny and when she realized I'm a foreigner, she explained it to me: Guys who are looking for a date bring two umbrellas on rainy days and hand one to a girl who forgot hers. The girl is supposed to ask for the guy's business card so she can return his umbrella. So it goes. Never saw my guy again. I bet he hid every time he saw me walking out.