Another Utaban transcript, the clips
pinkdragon posted, dated 17.Oct.2002, the episode where it (THE NAKAI VS OHNO BATTLE) all begin!! haha!
Utaban 17.Oct.2002
Taka: I'd like to know ... do you guys give birthday presents to each other?
Arashi: Yapp..!
Nakai: You do? So is there something that makes you really happy?
Aiba: So far, Ohno-kun presents are always useless, its always decorative items like vegetables miniature... like spring onion, carrots....its the one that has to be arranged... (Nakai laughs)
[Ohno looking at Aiba, with disbelief looks]
Nakai: That's really troublesome...
Aiba: I'm always confused on where those things should better be put.
Nino: Me too, I had this alien things from Ohno.
Nakai: Waaaaa...? why did you give that?
Ohno: Hidoi sune minna ..
Nakai: Why dont you just treat them a meal or something?
Ohno: Ee....
(evryone laughs)
Ohno: Maa......ii desuka??
Nakai: Are you really serious doing entertainment business?
Ohno: Of course I do!
Nakai: Ok2....next ... today we'd talk about each members' message to others. (Holding the card)
Taka: "To Ohno: Buy your own clothes yourself!! from Aiba"
Aiba: Ohno-kun never buy his own clothes...
Nino: Surely we'd realize when he's wearing new clothes, right? And when we ask, where did you get the clothes? He always answer, 'My mom bought it for me'.
Nakai: Your mom bought it !!!!!!
[Ohno with the looks -stop talking that kind of stuff!- to Nino] -> LOL!
Arashi: Sugoi desu yo...
Nakai: Are you 6 years old?
Ohno: Nooo ....I'm not...
Sho: His pajama is the same as his sister's except the colour...
Nino: That's because his mom bought it and she just differentiated the colour for them.
[Ohno's face is so HILLARIOUS at this moment!! He's nodding, and the looks on his face saying, "Great....keep going! Just see later, I'll kill you guys!" LOL!LOL!]
Taka: If clothes, it's ok if others bought it for you, so what kind of things you decide to buy for yourself?
Ohno: Paintings material....
Taka: Paintings ....hgrhrgrghrgh ... *mimicking a painter*.. ooo like oil paints...
Ohno: Sou desu, sou desu...
Taka: So you go to...
Ohno: I go to the store & pick the colours myself.
Taka: Ok, now if you have important meeting... but you really need the paints today.. then how?
Ohno: Paints .... if it's really urgent .. i'll ask my mom...(evryone laughs) ...
Taka: But you told me the paints is the one that you must buy yourself, didn't you?
Ohno: If it's really urgent then I can't do anything about it! I'll ask my mom and then go to the meeting....
All: Wahahahhahahha.....
Sho: Recently we receive lots of sms, don't we? In Ohno-kun case, all of the sms came from his mom.
Ohno: It's not all !! ... it would be weird *if that's the case*, isn't it?
Nakai: IT IS ALREADY WEIRD!!
Taka: What are you talking about with your mom anyway... about food or something?
Ohno: Yes, my mom ask me what I'd like to eat for dinner for example.
Nino: Yes, he often ask us what is nice for dinner ... and once I said hamburger, he said that's not a good idea, my dad has no front teeth ... it'll be difficult for him to chew *^^;* ...sou iu no,"
Taka: Front teeth... nande....
Ohno: No ... its juz when you dont have your front teeth you'll be like this *mimicking an old man* .... looks like a grandpa, doesn't it?
Taka: Unnn...unnn....
Ohno: And evrybody will say, "you're getting old, arent you!!" and you can only say, "no no it's juz bit hard".....
[everyone laughs]
Next segment is "Dame Dame Game" for 41st B'Day Taka-san next week
Price: Sushi made by famous chef
Rules: Counting the sushi from 1 to 41, the person that say 41 won't get to eat the sushi.
Each person is allowed to say maximum 3 numbers *so u can choose to count once or twice not necessary 3 times*
*^^* got it?
Referee: Pls choose from the menu, Taka-san!
Taka: Ok ... as recommended we start with 'mattake' *bread sushi?!?!!?* ...
-> that's not on the menu today but i think the restaurant has it
Nino stand up & peek at the menu: "I think I want different one ... which one should I eat?? hmmm ..."
Referee: "Ishibasi-san no tanjobi dakara ne!! *warned Nino* ... so Nakai-san pls choose one"
Nakai looking at the menu: "Kappamaki" -> cucumber roll
Taka grumbled: Kappamaki .. don't we always have kappamaki?!?!
Nakai: I like Kappamaki best!
Taka: But never heard of specific famous origins for cucumber ... x( Nakai gave commands to cheer: "Kappamaki .. kappamaki ..." -> stupid things is that Arashi juz follow what Nakai did but with blurrr faces....^^;
Ok so the game begin from Nakai .... ichi kappamaki ni kappamaki san ... ^^;
Jun: "33 34"
Nino: "35 36 37"
Sho: "38 39 ...... yon~~jyu~~~~kappamaki ?!?!?!"
-> w/ disbelief look looking at Nakai
So that's it Nakai OUT =P
Nakai: Wait a minute!! The one who wants to eat kappamaki is only me, right .... so why did u say 40 ... dame da na ... *coz that means i'll be the one who get the 41 & i dont want to say 41* ... ok repeat! so where do we stop juz now?
Sho: 38 39! 40!!
Nakai: Just now you purposedly said it loudly ... don't you!!!" -> sho juz have big smile ^^;.."Nandeee!!!!!"
Nakai: Hai hai hai!*raising hands* .... let's do rematch!!!
-> Jun really got choked, laughing because of this .... then Nakai quotes something philosophical that makes Sho laughs soundlessly ^^; (u know there are times we laugh so hard that no sounds or whatsoever comes out -> the kind of laugh that coz stomachache =P)
Nakai: Ok ... once more ... "otoro" -> tuna's belly *this is the most expensive
one ^^* ...
Others: Uwwaaa waaaa ...
Nakai: The one who lost this round, from tomorrow onwards have to disappear from this world [-> entertainment world]
Start with Nakai again .... until .....
Sho: 19 20
Nakai: Why did you stop at 2?? Plan to play a trick?
Sho: No, not at all!
Nakai: Where did you stop just now?
Sho: 20
[Nakai counting to himself....looking at the persons....]
Nakai: 31 32 33 ... yoossshhaaaa!!![thinking that he's winning]
-> he thought he could win the game & kick Taka out ... that'll happen only if Taka & Arashi count 3 times each ^^;... Nakai forgot that they are allowed to count only once =P apparently ....
Taka: 34 35 -> he's not stupid & he wants Nakai out hehhehehe ....
Ohno: 36
Aiba: 37
Jun: 38
Nino: 39
-> think every member doesn't want the other to loose .... all *LOL* (^^ guess we already know what's the result)
Sho: hmmmm ......*looking at Nakai* [he doesn't say a word for quite sometime]
Referee: Ok pls continue Sakurai-san
Sho: 40 toro....
Jun: The person who said 41 just now have to disappear from this world!
*entertainment world-red* ...
Referee: And not allowed to eat...
Nakai cried: Rather than not allowed to eat, I dont want to leave the entertainment world...*sob sob* -> Nakai cried like a little kid!!
Referee: Nakai OUT !!!
Nakai: Nande, nande?!? 6x3 =18, right??
Meal time .... "Umai ... umai" -> Nakai kun kawaii soou ....
Nakai: Umai ka?
Referee: How's the meal?
"Saiko ... arigato gozaimasu...."
Nakai: There is no time...so...ah, cut the song??*pretend talking to the producer behind the camera*
[Arashi shocked and laughs, then beg Nakai]
Nino and Sho: Wait a minute! This is UTAban...UTA bangumi (music show), right?
Nakai: You guys talk too much ... and we've wasted time for eating!!!
Nino & Sho: But we must perform ... it's our new song!
Nakai: That's your own fault! You took long time to eat, so there's no more time left!
[Arashi keep trying to argue with Nakai]
Nakai: See? See? You make this talking session longer and longer again... Ja SMAP de "SHAKE"!!
Sho: No, no!!
Nino: Tomorrow it'll be release!
Nakai: Shake ... Shake ...*with lots of persistence =P* .... the old video we made!
Ohno: Nakai ... OTONAKINEYO ... (gosh, Nakai, grow up!!)
*silence*
Nakai give Ohno a deadly glare, get up and walk towards Ohno: "Omae (you)...."
Sho, Nino & Jun hold Nakai: Gomen nasai ... gomen nasai....
[.... Nino from the back, Sho on the side & Jun in front!^^]
Taka hugged Ohno & Ohno leaned towards him *^^* ....
Others succeeded to get Nakai back to his seat....
Nakai: I want you to apologize for what you said...!!!
Arashi: Hurry up ... leader! Apologize!
Ohno: I think I've said something bad ... -> he didn't really apologize ne....LOL!^^;;
Nakai got explode and tried to break Arashi's barricade! LOL! (Nakai knocked Jun's head quite hard *LOL*)
But anyway, Arashi did perform their new song, PIKANCHI ^^v
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