Jokes/Humor Thread

This isn't a joke, my brother swears it happened when he was on jury duty.

Can't remember exact details, but a witness was called who was German and who had very poor English. The judge asked if the lawyer had arranged an interpreter, which he hadn't. Eventually the judge asked if there was anyone in the court who spoke German. A guy who was sitting up the back put his hand up. So he was brought to the front. The judge asked him: "OK, ask the witness to state his name." The guy turns to the witness and says " Vat iss your neime??"

The guy got charged with contempt of court :hehe:

Anime Dad wrote:This isn't a joke, my brother swears it happened when he was on jury duty.

Can't remember exact details, but a witness was called who was German and who had very poor English. The judge asked if the lawyer had arranged an interpreter, which he hadn't. Eventually the judge asked if there was anyone in the court who spoke German. A guy who was sitting up the back put his hand up. So he was brought to the front. The judge asked him: "OK, ask the witness to state his name." The guy turns to the witness and says " Vat iss your neime??"

The guy got charged with contempt of court :hehe:

Are you serious?!

Here is a true story.

A young lad went to a boarding school in England. One evening he walked into the TV room to find an interesting movie on, starring Michael Caine. So he asked his fellow inmate for the name of the movie and a smart-ass replied "The Italian blow job".

A couple of minutes later the house mistress (house master's wife, not the communal squeez) entered the room and, seeing the crowd, asked "What's on."

The innocent young lad responded with the top of his voice "The Italian BLOW JOB." You could hear a pin drop...

thtl wrote:Here is a true story.

A young lad went to a boarding school in England. One evening he walked into the TV room to find an interesting movie on, starring Michael Caine. So he asked his fellow inmate for the name of the movie and a smart-ass replied "The Italian blow job".

A couple of minutes later the house mistress (house master's wife, not the communal squeez) entered the room and, seeing the crowd, asked "What's on."

The innocent young lad responded with the top of his voice "The Italian BLOW JOB." You could hear a pin drop...

LOL.

Kids are impressionable. :beaten:

bmwracer wrote:
LOL.

Kids are impressionable. :beaten:

That was the day this particular kid learned about evil...


I should know, it was me. :shamefulcry:

thtl wrote:I should know, it was me. :shamefulcry:

:shocked:

:beaten:

thtl wrote:

That was the day this particular kid learned about evil...


I should know, it was me. :shamefulcry:

Now that's a story to tell the grandkids. :hehe:

dochira wrote:
Now that's a story to tell the grandkids. :hehe:

lmao :rofl:

Woah! It's Michi! Long time no see.

Edit: I guess you've been around, here and there.

dochira wrote:
Now that's a story to tell the grandkids. :hehe:

I don't plan on having any and even if I did, I'm not going to explain to them what a 'blow job' is!

thtl wrote:

I don't plan on having any and even if I did, I'm not going to explain to them what a 'blow job' is!

LOL, yeah, if my kids ask me that, it'll be a case of "Go ask your mother" :P

thtl wrote:

I don't plan on having any and even if I did, I'm not going to explain to them what a 'blow job' is!

I didn't know grandparents played a part in producing grandkids... :P

Wynter wrote:

I didn't know grandparents played a part in producing grandkids... :P

No, but I believe you have to have kids before having grandkids...

Anime Dad wrote:

No, but I believe you have to have kids before having grandkids...

Is that so?

Wynter wrote:

Is that so?

So i'm told. I wanted to skip the having kids part and just go straight to grandkids, but Mrs A.D. told me it wouldn't work :(

Wynter wrote:

Is that so?

Is the school you are teaching in housed in a Catholic nun's convent? Do you tell kids in sex-ed classes that all reproduction is done by divine impregnation? :hehe:

thtl wrote:

Is the school you are teaching in housed in a Catholic nun's convent? Do you tell kids in sex-ed classes that all reproduction is done by divine impregnation? :hehe:

Of course not! Everyone knows babies come from large birds who deliver the infants into a mother's arms.

Anime Dad wrote:This isn't a joke, my brother swears it happened when he was on jury duty.

Can't remember exact details, but a witness was called who was German and who had very poor English. The judge asked if the lawyer had arranged an interpreter, which he hadn't. Eventually the judge asked if there was anyone in the court who spoke German. A guy who was sitting up the back put his hand up. So he was brought to the front. The judge asked him: "OK, ask the witness to state his name." The guy turns to the witness and says " Vat iss your neime??"

The guy got charged with contempt of court :hehe:

LOL, an expensive joke for him. :hehe: :hehe: :hehe:

Anime Dad wrote:

LOL, yeah, if my kids ask me that, it'll be a case of "Go ask your mother" :P

Tmi, AD. :rofl: :naughty:

Anime Dad wrote:

LOL, yeah, if my kids ask me that, it'll be a case of "Go ask your mother" :P

O please, you're kids already know what it is. :rofl: