Probably the "white supremacy" complex :shakehead: no offense to anyone who may get offended, but that concept is really annoying isn't it? Annoying and baseless.
....cool idea for a book plot though :applaud: hope I get to read your book someday.
Interesting topic - I'm going to ignore the "white supremacy" B_S and move on. whatEVA.
I was married to a Japanese national for 2 years, we are now divorced.
We just couldn't overcome the VAST differences in our cultures. Love doesn't always conquer all. His family was very accepting of me and my family was very accpeting of him and his family. But I could not live my whole entire life in Japan and I didn't want to raise children there for my own personal reasons. He couldn't live his entire life in Canada and leave his family and family business either.
So, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
I will say that Japanese people treated me like a circus freak, constantly VERY RUDE and I didn't appreciate that at all. That was very hard to overcome.
Canada is very multi-cultural as 99% of canadians are from another country so inter-racial relationships are very accepted and not thought of at all here. No one stared at us in Toronto, no one made comments out loud, no one thought it was "hen" in Canada.
Japan has a lot of growing up and acceptance to go through before there are headways made with inter-racial relationships.
I am married to a Japanese National. We have been married a little over 3 years now. I have had no problem's when in Japan, and neither myself nor my wife have had any problems here in California. We live in a fairly diverse area. I am not sure we would enjoy the same trouble free life in some other places but thus far my family has been very excepting and so has hers. They greeted my warmly and never made me feel out of place.
While in Japan I felt I was treated very well never had any strange looks at least while in the Kansai area I did feel a little weird vibe in Tokyo. (But that may have been in my mind). I spent time in heavy tourist area's and isolated small towns that rarely saw a foriegn person and I was treated well.
We have traveled on vacation to Hawaii, Nevada, Oregon, and Japan and never got a second look or different treatment than anyone else.
I don't think it's "B_S" cause that complex *does* exist. It may not be a general thing, I'm sure many people are more sensible than that, but the fact is it *does* exist. In so many parts of the world, if you're not white, you're automatically regarded with suspicion or caution and even dislike.
All I was saying by bringing it up though, is that that fact can be the reason why her father's relatives didn't treat her or her mother so well.
Inter-racial relationships are very common in the states as well - also, foreign women with japanese men are much much less common in Japan, so the acceptance/tolerance is even lower than say, foreign men with Japanese women.
p.s. we also travelled to most of the pan pacific countries and were treated much better than in Tokyo.
(indonesia, thailand, malaysia, south korea, vietnam, australia, new zealand, etc.)
I've dated a Chinese man for two years and a Vietnamese man for 1 year and a half , and I've never been accepted by their families because I'm a white girl ... Though, both the Vietnamese and the Chinese were born and grew up in France ...
i have one friend. she is chinese and marry a korean man. her family is okay and no mind that he korean. but his korean family hates her and her family. but they love each other and have one daughter. i believe they true love each other and will not divorce. they have been together real long. but she says his korean parents treat her and her family very disgusting rude. they are very forward and straight for their hate towards her and her family. it is because she is chinese. i think that is being too close mind. chinese, korean, japanese cultures have many similarities, it's just that the language and some of the foods are different. wow that is real big different (sorry for being sarcast here cannot help it)
my other friend marry a caucasian and oh my god. the caucasian's family treat her bad. marry not too long and then divorce. the caucasian did not love her say she was too asian. what does that mean? that make no sense.
my other friend he marry a dark person and his mother does not like it at all. but his mother was so damn pick, say she did not like the asian girls he was seeing. now then he marry his wife is dark and now she does not like her at all. always scream about it.
i think people need to open mind very wide because it is real hard to find someone that is your true love. i think people have to stop calculate so much and must go to focus on the important that everybody is human being and deserves respect and to learn each other culture and not have so much hate for not knowing someone. each person is different and has nothing to do with the race it is how they grow up and who teach them.
last night i saw a couple with two daughters and everyone was staring at them like crazy. the husband is african and the wife is japanese and their two daughters are very dark and they dont look anything like their mother at all. but people on the streets were staring at them like crazy and laughing. i didnt know why they were doing that. don't people know that it is very difficult to find the person you are destined to be with? i think they genuinely love each other or else they would not be together and have 2 children. if they have found true happiness and real love, then i think that is good and they should not be ridiculed and laughed at.
jpn_dudes_4eva wrote:I will say that Japanese people treated me like a circus freak, constantly VERY RUDE and I didn't appreciate that at all. That was very hard to overcome.
Canada is very multi-cultural as 99% of canadians are from another country so inter-racial relationships are very accepted and not thought of at all here.
i found the first statement extremely surprising! it could have been just your ex's family. it has always been my perception that white people often hold an ADVANTAGE in japan. many jp people adore white people, and i was pretty astonished to hear that you had experienced prejudism there.
here in hawaii, we are probably the leader in multicultural races. i have a jp national (female) friend that married a white guy from the states. i'm asian myself, and have hung out with them in japan and hawaii, and it doesn't seem like he's treated any differently than any other person, EXCEPT for the fact that most people can't talk to him anyways (in english).
Me, I date ONLY Asian boys . I have a passion for Asians, I don't even know why, that's the way it is , I like everything about them . And they treat women with respect . White boys are only interested in having sex the first night ( and then throw you away like a dirty sock ) ... that's just my opinion anyway ...
that's pretty interesting. i also read your previous post about not being accepted by asian families. ganbatte! i hope you'll be able to find that asian male you love AND be accepted by the family.
for me, i've only dated asian women, but it's not really as if i wouldn't date females of other ethnicities. part of it is just the amount of asians here in hawaii. i think the other part is that (from my experience) it doesn't seem that women of other ethnicities are too attracted to asian men. heck, i find that a lot of ASIAN women would rather date a white or black guy than an asian guy.
it was actually kind of refreshing to hear that other ethnicities are actually attracted to asian men.
Why would you get an airplane ticket to France?
France is full of nothing but little lover boys and cheaters.
I would take a ticket to Japan.
Because I have never had a spouse or significant other from Japan.
So that would be an adventure. :dancing:
A couple of you mentioned that since you lived in a muticultural location, it is fairly common to see international marriages. Altho social acceptance is a big issue, I think another beast altogether is family acceptance. This i think is more significant because your family may or may not accept your love one, and/or vice verse.
I am married to a Japanese national. The marriage and acceptance by both sides have been smooth. I guess since I'm a 4th generation Japanese-American, there is not much to discuss about ethnicity from her side. It's hard on her parents because she left Japan to be with me here in Hawaii. We've had some discussions on what we're going to do. She wants me to move to Japan. I wouldn't mind, but my concern is being able to find work there. And even if I do find work in Japan (in which I'm qualified enough for), would it help my resume here in America?
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