Ikumu wrote:History:
24 yrs old, grew up in the states since i was 6.
dated white girls until i was 20. dated half white/asian girls for a bit, then onto full asians the last couple of years.
Topic of post:
At first I thought it was a white thing, where white girls couldnt cook and didnt know how to take care of their partner. Great lovers, though.
Half white/asian girls are definitely cute, but they are clueless as to what their culture is (cooking +1).
Full asians have been mmm...interesting.
Im beginning to think I dont know what it is Im looking for, I've dated way too many as it is. How is it some people can date for 6 months and know they'll be together forever? :doh:
Anyways I've had this conversation with my grandmother every time I go back the last few years, that I want to marry a Japanese girl. She says that even Japanese girls these days do not know how to uphold their side of the relationship (i.e., our contractor to build our house would go nuts when my grandmother would make something for him...he says that his wife sleeps in the mornings, and he has to go buy his lunch... :crazy: )
I think my post sounds a bit sexist, perhaps...I've had a couple of great girls that were caring like that, but I dunno, I guess Im just too picky. :usuck:
When my mom was growing up and she left Japan for the US, it was a shock to my whole family...her generation of females were when girls started leaving their homes.
Nowadays, girls have become very independent, yet they have forgotten how to be a female partner? Set me straight!
For the record, I've read all the posts, but I might have forgotten some stuff that was said :sweat: I just have a few comments on dating in general. I think guys getting bored w/ girls or figuring out they aren't the one has contributed to my own issues :doh:
So people know in advance, I'm very pessimistic w/ relationship stuff. So I tend not to even bother anymore :beaten: I have become very independent and I'm very untrusting of men. My fear is dedicating myself to someone and doing all I can for them just to break up later and feel like I totally wasted my time. Not that I'm expecting permanence out of anything, but it's because I don't expect permanence and don't like being vulnerable that I'm like that. I just figure guys get bored of girls and vice versa, even after marriage. I know eyes wander, sometimes they act, sometimes they don't, but I feel they eventually WILL. I'm very defensive w/ dating so I don't open up to men (anymore).
Part of this stuff I think is low self-esteem. My taste in men tends to be out of my league so when I am with those men, I feel like "Um, why is he with me?" and figure it won't last long. And, I don't like being dependent upon someone being there because I figure they won't always be there. With all of this, I don't expect to ever be married. :sweat: I'm more likely to be friends w/ a guy and hang out rather than date him, whether I like him or not, whether he likes me or not.
And yeah, I know how to do all the household stuff and cooking because I live alone. So I'm sorta the man and woman of my house. :hehe: I cook, clean, kill bugs (although I scream and get girlie about it) and fix things that I can (I have my own toolbox! YAY!), and if I buy something that needs to be assembled, I do it myself. :bonk: There are some things I can't do, like put an air conditioner unit in a window :banghead: So maybe my independence contributes to my reluctance to trust and date someone because then I feel like I don't need or want anyone. :sweat: But even if I was married to a guy or living with one, things gotta be equal or at least close to it. Help me cook sometimes, or do the cooking once in a while. Make it 50/50 or even 60/40 would be cool :sweat:
I have had my share of good boyfriends and long term relationships, but I've had my share of @$$holes as well. I just don't trust the majority of them, so I prefer not to make myself vulnerable to getting attached, because over time I will do that. And, I just can't date a few people casually at the same time just for fun, after meeting them at bars, because I'm not really the type of person to do that.
I've also seen too many of my friends get attached too quickly and get hurt later :shakehead: I don't think they think realistically when they date; they get attached too quickly and set themselves up to be hurt later, while I try to avoid that. After 2-3 months they are talking to the guy and say "I love you!", and a few months later they think they will eventually marry the guy. I think for myself now, I'd probably need to date a guy AT LEAST 2 years before I'd consider marrying a guy or even moving in with a guy. And, I'm also for long engagements. I'd give the guy plenty of time to change his mind, as well as myself. There I go again, fear of attachment.
But for the record, when you are looking for something specific (or even when you just hope someone turns out to be what you'd prefer), that's when it's least likely to be found... So I guess it's trial and error. Ikumu, I wouldn't worry though, you are still young :woot: Šæ’£‚Á‚ĉº‚³‚¢I
Long depressing rant over! :hehe: :woot: