Why don't many Japanese say I Love You/Aishiteru?

i myself prefer to use suki than ai that sound like bullshit :

Kairu wrote:i myself prefer to use suki than ai that sound like bullshit :

Nice choice of an adjective.
Kind of harsh though, don't you think?


Welcome to the boards!

hmm ive been wondering for myself for a while.. i kinda noticed that although lots of romance is involved with JP shows... many a time they say daisuki .. although im pretty sure its not just a sense of mere liking =D

As a comparo, a Cantonese Chinese person (i.e. Hong Kong) wouldn't really say 'I love you' in chinese either....

It just sounds... a bit... too much... when its said in cantonese - I can vow that I have never heard it said before.


We will usually say the equivalent of 'I really like you' as well.


The only exceptions:

1) We will still say 'I Love You' in English. It is not as embarrassing for some subconscious reason!

2) People who speak Mandarin chinese would more regularly say 'I love you' - weird but true.



Cantonese chinese language has very different ways of expressions to mainland Mandarin Chinese - most Cantonese people laugh at the inadequacy of using mandarin to swear at a foe because its grossly over polite! :rofl:

i can swear like a sailor in mandarin, you must be hanging out with business men on break or something.. :hehe:

the worst i've heard from my cantonese friends is Pok gai.

Personally, as a Cantonese person I have to say that 'I love you' in Cantonese just sounds too weird. You know, come to think of it, I don't think I've every expressed 'love' in words to even my family, all the words in my vocabulary just sound inappropriate - or is that just me? Anyway...

If you think about it, some of the swear words in Cantonese are kinda bizzare if you dissect it, pok gai is made of the characters 'trip' and 'street'.

But back on topic, I was told by someone that 'aishiteru' was only used for really serious relationship, it wasn't something used flippantly.

-Wisteria

I knew when I first started studying Japanese that "suki" and "daisuki" were more often used than "aishiteru", especially because I read mostly manga. In fact, I had never even seen "aishiteru" until I watched the drama "Majo no Jouken," and I remember being totally shocked (especially coming from the characters who say it, but that's another story). Then I read it in a manga, and yeah, now I feel a little desensitized.

Have you noticed though how often "aishiteru" is in JPOP and JROCK? Much more so than any other media source from what I've seen. Why do you think that is?

Jadrien24 wrote:Have you noticed though how often "aishiteru" is in JPOP and JROCK? Much more so than any other media source from what I've seen. Why do you think that is?

IMO
I think music has it's way to (more so) convey emotions over manga and media.
Call me ignorant (it's okay, many people have already) however music somehow seems to be the "gateway" (so to speak) in revealing one's feelings. I guess it helps to convey the message of the song in a stronger and more emotional sense versus television and whatever you may read in magazines and newspapers, etc.

maybe you're just the BOMB, with mad skillz baby! :naughty: hahahaha...

You're right , the Asians don't like to say "the three words" but I don't think it is because they're shy ...
I've lived two years with a Chinese and 1 year and a half with a Vietnamese and none of them ever told me "I love you" , NEVER ! :grumble: I felt so bad ... :puppydog:
oh well ...

Toranaga wrote:

This is quite interesting. I can only speak for myself, I'm European, and well, I would use the (in)famous "I love you" ONLY in a serious relationship. Personally I consider the use of it in anything else as quite inappropriate. If I don't love her I just wouldn't use it. And well, lol, I'm also rather unwilling to reveal my true feelings right away hehe.

But maybe I'm just oldfashoined :hehe: :nut:

But in which country do you live? I know that Italians are way different in mentality from, say, Holland. Italians tend to be more passionate about their feelings.

Meiren wrote:


But in which country do you live? I know that Italians are way different in mentality from, say, Holland. Italians tend to be more passionate about their feelings.

that's true, europe is made up of so many hugely different countries... it's impossible to generalise europeans!

I'm not sure if I heard right or not, but didn't the school teacher Matsushima Nanako played in "Majo no Jouken" say "aishiteimasu" or something, when she confessed her love in some of the first episodes, while she was still a teacher lol?

Takenobu wrote:I'm not sure if I heard right or not, but didn't the school teacher Matsushima Nanako played in "Majo no Jouken" say "aishiteimasu" or something, when she confessed her love in some of the first episodes, while she was still a teacher lol?

You heard right.
She used the phrase to emphasize the seriousness of her love for Hikaru (Takizawa), so people would know that she's not joking and so would not take her lightly :dancing:

M wrote:You heard right.
She used the phrase to emphasize the seriousness of her love for Hikaru (Takizawa), so people would know that she's not joking and so would not take her lightly :dancing:

‚È‚é‚قǁA‚ ‚肪‚Æ‚¤‚²‚´‚¢‚Ü‚µ‚½B

uuuh, well personally i think it has nothng to do (almost) with culture...unless it's a UK thing to be shy as well ... :sweat:
i know that japanese people tend to be very shy and polite in thier culture, but...in my experience it's natural for anyone to think it way to embarrasing to say "i love you" straight out. i mean, it's jsut in my experience ^^; but everyone i know has always said "i like you" instead of i love you :dancing: . peroanlly i would use i like you ^^;

ohh..so question: if this is the case then, how do you say "i like you" when you honestly just like the person as a friend?
(issue for me cause i'm gonna write a letter in a sec to try and make friends with someone..but if i say "suki desu" she might get the wrong idea"" :sweat: ) but..oh well ^^;

Meiren wrote:


But in which country do you live? I know that Italians are way different in mentality from, say, Holland. Italians tend to be more passionate about their feelings.

Well, in Germany most of the kids say I love you..even if they don´t mean it this way.. in deeper relationships German´s often like to say I like you instead of I love you

but i would say both phrases are used often :] , we have nothing we use more often

Nea Vanille wrote:They like to confess their love right after sex, too.

:sweat:

Nea Vanille wrote:They like to confess their love right after sex, too.

No wonder they light up that cigarette after sex.

ahochaude wrote:No wonder they light up that cigarette after sex.

hey! i thought you've quit already. hahahaha..