Why don't many Japanese say I Love You/Aishiteru?

Kairu wrote:i myself prefer to use suki than ai that sound like bullshit :

woohaa,thats kinda off beat...

von wrote:

perhaps asians are unwillingly to reveal their true feelings cos most of my friends(chineses) would rather use the word "like" instead of "love. as a chinese, i dont dare to use the word "love" too. cos it seems to be used on serious relationship.

p/s: i dont know if most chinese think the same.

why not try,tell this very touching word to your parents and see how it works..

Wisteria wrote:Personally, as a Cantonese person I have to say that 'I love you' in Cantonese just sounds too weird. You know, come to think of it, I don't think I've every expressed 'love' in words to even my family, all the words in my vocabulary just sound inappropriate - or is that just me? Anyway...

If you think about it, some of the swear words in Cantonese are kinda bizzare if you dissect it, pok gai is made of the characters 'trip' and 'street'.

But back on topic, I was told by someone that 'aishiteru' was only used for really serious relationship, it wasn't something used flippantly.

-Wisteria

well its true that when you say i love that means a lot deeper than i like you.but think about this when the guy you really loved will never say that word,even once in your moments together.What wud you feel?Isn't it kinda useless,to be on that relationship??Do still feel the care???

hyde's_Jr wrote:love(ˆ¤j is a very deep word, it's just Asians love's to show that they love the person rather than telling them "i love you" over and over again.

saying it very often is not bad as long as it is sincere.Think about this,if your a woman,what would you feel when your boyfriend will never say those magical words entire the relationship??

Jackykero wrote:I've just been through this whole thread, and I find it funny how much can be said about how to say 'I love you' in another language. I think that the real answer to this question lies in the fundamental impossibility to litteraly translate a concept from a language to another, because a language is so much linked to a culture.
There is no way to say 'I love you' in Japanese ( aishiteru or daisuki desu are only the closest possible translations) because that's not culturally acceptable.
The same way that in Western countries some men would never say 'I love you' to their wives, and some others would say it all the time to about anybody they have some feeling for, it goes for Japanese people. Except that there are like 99% of them who would never say it to anybody - or say it only once, to their most precious one, after 20 years of life together. Then the Japanese language reflects this cultural attitude: if nobody's going to say something, why would you need a word ?
...
Now that was true 20 years ago.
Since then, the western culture has been imported to Japan via movies and stuff, and now Japanese are looking for words to express this feeling that they see on TV (and that girls find soooo romantic :-). Unfortunately the language is not helping them.
So maybe the best way to say it is probably the almost-English "I labu yu"
:inlove:

yah ryt...

Mr.ChoyBoi wrote:I get lost when they say "suki" cause I dunnot if its I like you or its I love you... :crazy:

well see the eyes of the person saying this word to you...

Tu_triky wrote:

I agree...that term is very forthright and direct and is conventionally not used in colloquial speech....at least as I was taught....discretion is more the norm, given the cultural semantics.

well,its more culture...uhm,why not try to say it to your parents??and see how this it works??

Just read the title of this thread, so here are my 2 cents..

I think its logic that Japanese people dont say aishiteru to eachother, it sounds weird when literally saying you love someone in your own language. Its something that may be heard in series, but in real time people prefer to say things like I like you, suki desu. In other words they try to express their love indirectly, and as we all know Japanese people are quite shy so its even more clear for them..

ƒPƒ”ƒBƒ“ wrote:I think its logic that Japanese people dont say aishiteru to eachother, it sounds weird when literally saying you love someone in your own language. Its something that may be heard in series, but in real time people prefer to say things like I like you, suki desu. In other words they try to express their love indirectly, and as we all know Japanese people are quite shy so its even more clear for them..

Right.

It's not abnormal: it just boils down to a cultural thing... You can't expect the Japanese to adopt EVERYTHING from Western culture. ;)

SilverHanyou5791 wrote:First let me say: THIS IS THE MOST DARN INTERESTING AND FUNNY THREAD I'VE EVER READ. And I actually read ALL the posts...lol

anyway...

I was born in Philippines (below Japan, the country that looks like a sideview person) and lived in Canada for the latter half of my life till now and I think it's easier for me to understand this whole concept because I got to live through both societies... and lemme tell you guys, this "I love you" thing is a very sticky business.

In Japan (or rather asian countries) they don't use words like "I love you", unlike in the western part of the world because they are very traditional and the west are shallow insecure people. (NO OFFENSE)

In asia (traditionally) it is very rude to even touch somebody :shocked: My father once told me that his parents married because my grandfather hugged (I think or something, touched) my grandmother. 0__o see how weird it sounds?

Though now, most asian countries have been 'west washed' (especially youngsters) and show in TV people saying 'ILY', hugging casually, and sleeping together like it's nothing. Well, that's TV - just cause someone flies on TV doesn't mean it happens in real life. Growing up, I remember not even knowing about how 'babies were made' until I was grade five, when my nee-chan and cousin told me all about it after they had a class about it at school... (I know.. weird, right?) That just goes to show how 'traditional' asians can get. ONE MORE THING: I'd only seen my parents kiss ONCE in my life (and that was cause they didn't know I was there and they were being sweet *yuck*)
Youngsters, though, say I love you - but in english, not in their native language. I don't know why, it's just easier to say it in english. But I also noticed something... In the ages that kids are scared of 'cooties' here, kids in asia have crushes already... o_0

The thing is, western people are insecure unless they hear those words. Asia believes in acting out the message because words don't mean anything unless you back them up. It's okay to say it rarely, though... it would just mean THAT much more. But think about it... if you hear "I love you" everyday, don't you think it becomes casual and loses the meaning?

Here though, I hug my friends as greetings and stuff and say "I love you" when I'm really thankful to them... but NOT everyday. I would never say it to a guy 1) cus I'm not cheesy 2) I think I would gag. I wasn't even a hug-y person (I guess cus I wasn't born here) but my friend is a hugy person and she's always hugging ^^; so I hug my friends ... JUST my close friends.

The thing is, it's a culture thing and unless you get to experience both sides of the pancake it's difficult to understand. Even though I've lived through both cultures... it's still hard to explain. ^^; sorry, it got SO LONG...lol ^^;;

Totaly agree with you. In my culture saying "I love you" sounds to cheese so we say "I like you" as well, and even "I really like you" in spanish sound kind of cheese so just "I like you". I think hispanics are more friendly in the matters of showing affection it also depends in what contry and what parto of that country you are, cause like hugging people here in my city is a weird thing unles you are really REALLY close friends but in other cities of here is really casual to do, personaly I find it emberasing to hug people and to be hug unles you are family or boyfriend and girlfriend.

Japanese do say aishiteru to each other, but it's very much depend on occasion or the relationship between the speaker and the receiver! For example a couple will say aishiteru to each other only when they have established a strong bond with each other. In contrast a guy will used "like" to denote "love" when he tries to profess his feeling to a girl who he might not well known or not close, such as "kimi no koto suki" instead of "aishiteru".

oh...cool...didn't know this...^___^* no wonder in a lot of animes and interviews the artists or characters would say "daisuki" instead of "ai shiteru" ^___^* thanks for the info! lols..^^

i learned so much from this thread! LMAo...REALLY interesting...^^


<3 kiOkO

is it just me or did vonnluvshin post like 12 times in a row (yes i counted :P)

anyway, i think it's also that in an asian mindset, love is something that is only given to one person, liking someone that's something everyone does, but loving someone i guess means much more than simple liking and affection, that could also affect why it's seldom used

aznanimedude wrote:is it just me or did vonnluvshin post like 12 times in a row (yes i counted :P)

Yup, within a span of about 30 minutes... :shakehead:

It's amazing how big a discussion you can get over saying; aishiteru or daisuke or wherever form you can use for showing like/love toward someone. :crazy:

Although, very interestingly informative as I read! :bow:

Yup.

Although there are lots of words and expressions to say the same thing in any language. Like to say someone has a large behind, lots of junk in the trunk, fat ass... Is one better than the others? Dunno, depends of the context I guess. :sweat:

I agree. The way it is said makes all the difference, whether for good or bad.

wat about sukiyo?
wat is chotto? iie...dai kirai ??
>.<
how to say " sorry i dont like you' ?

pandarider wrote:wat about sukiyo?
wat is chotto? iie...dai kirai ??
>.<
how to say " sorry i dont like you' ?

"suki" means "i like"
"chotto" mean " a little"
"iie" mean "no"
"dai kirai" means "i hate"

"sorry i don't like you" = (non disrespectful way) "summimasen, watashi ha anata no koto ga suki dewa arimasen."
(this is one way to say what you asked, to some effect. there are other ways as well)

my mom says "aishiteru" all the time to me.
its the same in most countries how this phrase works.
in america you dont always say i love you to your friends you say "love ya"
or some other comfortable way to say it because saying "I-LOVE-YOU" to your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend sometimes may seem awkard.

Ps, alot of people think I LOVE YOU is "suki" or "daisuki" because jdorama subtitles in english often say "I LOVE YOU" when they say suki, but dont be confused about that! It just means "I LIKE YOU"

Korean in kdramas do the same thing. "Jo Wa Hae" subtitles into "I LOVE YOU" but it means I LIKE YOU. just a tip for ppl who didnt already know that.