Minna-san, I decided to share with you all, about how I really feel on the things that doesn't seem to make sense to me, about Kimura's marriage history.
I really want to be happy for him and to fully support his decision. I know he must have a happy family. I know Kudo Shizuka must be a good wife and mother. I know Kimura must be satisfied with what he has now... I know Mitsuki-chan is a strong proof of Kimura and Kudo's love. I know, I know, I know...
But these un-answered questions about the past keep bothering me....and it's difficult for me to just let go these matters. As long as it kept un-answered...I can never rest my case on this. So, I hope someone, ...Vanessa, Zephyrscarlet, Simone, or anyone else...can help me answer these questions....so I can finally be in peace....
During my first months as a SMAP fan, and heard about these so-called 3 Biggest Incidents in SMAP history that has caused SMAP almost disbanding. I always wonder why would a marriage harm SMAP?? I really don't get that. People should be happy and celebrate a marriage. How can a marriage threatened SMAP to disband?
And I heard people in Japan was shocked to hear Kimura Takuya got married. So, okay, he's the #1 idol in Japan. But, was it really that bad? He is just a normal guy too. It's normal for him to get married, desho? I always thought, weren't the Japanese overreacted about this?
And to the extent of Kimura fans terrorizing Kudo Shizuka, till she became sick and has to be hospitalized. Areee..?? Isn't that too extreme? Japanese fans were that extreme? I really don't get it. It's just like a taboo for idols in Japan to get married?
Then a SMAP fan, Kimura-ichiban, who has been a fan for long time and was there to check all the news about this told me, "There was a logical reason why the Japanese fans reacted overly about this marriage,".
The history from the VERY beginning.... This what makes me feel that Kimura-Kudo's love for each other in the beginning, doesn't make any sense... (I've posted this before, though)
In 1990, Kimura met a model named Kaorin. He was only 17 years old by that time, and Kaorin was 18 years old. Kimura Takuya was still a "nobody". Kimura said himself, that when he met Kaorin, it was love at first sight.
In mid-1999, Kimura and Kaorin ended their 9 years relationship with alot of pain. Kaorin was 27 that time, and she thought it was time for her to get married. When she mentioned this matter to Kimura, that is when Kimura realized he can't give her the happiness she wanted, due to his job. He is a member of SMAP, an idol. Probably, marriage is something he can only do far, faraway in the future. For now, he has to prior his job. Though, it hurt him, but Kimura decided to break up with Kaorin and hope she'll find someone else who can give her happiness, which is definitely something Kimura can't give.
In 26 August 1999, Kimura sent a fax to the media, he said that he feels really grateful to Kaorin who had support him all these time. And now, he is busy with his work and does not want to date anyone for the mean time, because to forget Kaorin is the hardest thing he ever has to do, and he felt he won't be able to love anyone as deeply as to Kaorin. Kimura also said, that this break-up decision agreed by both of them. And this decision has really made Kimura feel sad and hurt. From then on, what he really wants to do is only to finish SMAP Birdman concert tour and 2046 filming(which just started filming that year, remember it took 5 years for Wong Kar Wai to finish 2046 movie x)).
Two days later, Josei Seven magazine announced(after an interview with Kimura) that the main reason for Kimura & Kaorin broke up is due to Kimura's raising popularity. Kaorin want them to be a normal couple. She don't want to attract people's attention when they're on a date. Another reason is that Kimura is too busy and almost have no time for Kaorin. The age factor is also one of the reason. Kaorin feels it's time for her to get married, but Kimura's career doesn't allow this. After a discussion, they decided to break up.
In December 1999, Kimura was frequently seen together with a J-Rock singer, Kudo Shizuka. And the two were rumoured dating, since then.
In April 2000, there was a big incident in the Narita airport. The news that Kimura-Kudo went for a vacation together to Tanegashima(together with their friends) leaked out to the press. And the airport was filled with sea of people, the press, the fans who wanted to see Kimura and Kudo. This was the beginning of the uproar and it has become the talk in Japan.
The airport was really full with the press, 'till Kimura has to hold Kudo's hand and protect her from the press, he also has to calm a little kid who cried because of the press' attack.
They went for vacation in April 12th to 17th, and April 14th was Kudo's 30th birthday. The reporters speculated that they may get married soon, due to Kudo's age.
In August 2000, there were rumours that Kimura and Kudo breaking up. Due to the fact that Kudo tend to "report" to the media everytime she's going for a date with Kimura. Indeed, everytime they went on a date, there were paparazzi/reporters around, even in the isolated fishing area.
While when he was dating Kaorin, there were only a couple of time, that the reporters caught them, two of them are: Kimura-Kaorin photobox which is circulating on the net. And, when he and Kaorin went home from a gymnastic.
But in November 2000, the shocking news that has shaken all Kimura fans in Japan was announced. Kimura Takuya will get married with Kudo Shizuka who is 2 months-old pregnant.
Kimura was quite angry that time, because the press has spread the news without even asking his permission. Because, he was actually going to announce it to the public about this from his own mouth and he already planned a press conference. But then he kept going with the press conference, anyway, and explained that he has proposed to Kudo since April 2000, even before Kudo is pregnant.
Some of the press speculation, Kudo dated Kimura to get her popularity back in the entertainment world. The reporters asked her, "What do you see in Kimura?(Why do you love him?)". According to the reporter who wrote the article, with a straight face she answered, "His everything,". The reporter said, with that kind of expression, she can actually talk about her accountant or manager.
Kimura was also once asked why does he love Kudo. According to an article, Kimura answered, "Because she love surfing too, and her cook is amazing,"
In 5 December 2000, Kimura sent a fax to the media, that he and Kudo Shizuka has officially married.
Now... Let's use our imagination a bit to put our position in Kaorin's, shall we? Imagine your 9 years long-time boyfriend, is Kimura Takuya, said to you, he cannot marry you, coz of his job, and told you to find someone that can make you happy....while at that time, of course you were thinking, "How can I??? YOU're the only one who can make me happy! Where else should I find one??". But then....you try to understand his intention...and so...its over.....
It must be really hard to forget him, desho? Night and day, he's the only one you think about. Then, later you heard abt the fax Kimura sent to the media, "I wont date anyone for the mean time, its really hard to forget one Kaorin, I dont think I can fall in love this deeply anymore with any other woman,".......it was August 1999...........
Then, one day in December 1999, you heard the news everywhere, "Kimura Takuya seen together with Kudo Shizuka.........they're dating,". For me, as hurt as it may be, perhaps I'd still feel okay....I still love him, and I'm happy if he already find someone. But, a few months later........the news was, "Kimura Takuya is getting married to Kudo Shizuka who has been pregnant for 2 months!". THAT'S when I'd be mentally sick!!!!!!!! xD
It's really unfair, how can he not want to marry me, but then he marry another woman within a year?? Just few months ago, he said he still cannot forget me.....why!?
Now, my questions are:
1. WHY? Why did Kimura had to say that he still cannot forget Kaorin, but then in 4 months, he's already dating another woman?
2. WHY did he tell Kaorin that he couldn't marry her, because of his job as an idol... But he married Kudo, anyway?? What is it that Kaorin doesn't has, that Kudo has? What makes Kimura refuse to marry Kaorin, but he could marry Kudo? What makes Kaorin different than Kudo?!!
Kaorin had incredible patience to wait for 9 years, without knowing whether the relationship going somewhere or not, coz she MUST have faith in Kimura.... And she didn't like to attract attention when she's dating Kimura....but Kimura had shoot stardom and became a super idol since what...1994?? It means, Kaorin had really being patient for 5 years, even though she took alot of pressure. What more did he want??!
3. IF IT'S TRUE, that Kimura really loved Kudo and had proposed to Kudo in APRIL. Wouldn't that make him a BIG LIAR AND a BIG JERK??!? Just few months ago, he told Kaorin he couldn't marry her because of his job. And he also said he still cannot forget her!
Does love really changes that fast?? Even faster than a speeding bullet??
Yappari, otoko minna wa "Inagaki Goro" desu ka?? (haha, okay this one is a joke I borrow from Shingo :hehe:)
Please, DON'T tell me, it's just a matter of timing....it doesn't answer my questions x)
And yes, I know...it's the past.... But, I can't help but to be bothered with the curiousity. I guess...in the end, no one knows what really happened that time....and we can only speculate, that's true. I guess, I just want to share with minna on how I feel, and the reason why I feel a bit worried about Kimura's happiness.
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