V6 Super Gallery+Non Fan girl Friendly

Thanks for the song Jewel :) Now I know what song that I anticipated to arrive next month..hehehe..

Phew..300 MB plus took me forever to dowload it from Torrent file. I hate DIAL UPS!!! :mad:

valle wrote:did quickly read Angels story and it`s so sad!!you people should think about becoming screenwriters

Hi Valle!!! miss you so much :hug: ..yeah it's Angel's turn now since the Squadrella has finished with a happy ending. I've put all of it in the briefcase, if you're interested to read it :mrgreen:

Scan from Popolo Aug 04. MORITA AND INOCCHI


[image]

valle wrote:*pops in*
hiii everyone!!!it`s really nice in Korea,i tried reading everything from since ileft but over 30 pages or something appeared :sweat:
i did quickly read Angels story and it`s so sad!!you people should think about becoming screenwriters ;)

Hey valle! How's your vaca going?:D Yeah, this thread just keeps growing so fast! I remember when I came back from vacation, it took me forever to read everything that I missed.:sweat:

Hmmmmm...I wonder if Pati ever got to see Junichi again? ;)

aka, you got so many pic of V6.. I'm jealous. it's really hard to find j-pop magz here.
got the pic of masa? I'm waiting :mrgreen:


valle,
how's your vacation? don't forget bout jang hyuk, okay. :beaten: :hehe:

POTATO JULY 04

Masayuki :inlove: :love_eyes:

[image]

Nagano..(sigh).. :rolleyes: :muack:

[image]

Inocchi... :mrgreen:

[image]

MORE from JULY POTATO 04

MIYAKE ... :love_eyes:

[image]

Morita.. :D :muack:

[image]

Okada.. :love_eyes: :muack:


[image]

zaza_tk87 wrote:aka, you got so many pic of V6.. I'm jealous. it's really hard to find j-pop magz here.
got the pic of masa? I'm waiting

Hehee..don't be jealous of me..I'm sharing my collections here right? So ,you got the eyes to see them now :)

Picture of Masa..do you want a close up pic? I'll try to find a pic of him where he doesn't smile.. :beaten:

Aishiteru

Two years ago:

“Don’t go…please…”Go whispered softly, staring at the girl in the dark.

She stopped in her steps and turned around. “I’m sorry…”she apologized, picking up her bags and heading out the door.

“No!” he exclaimed, jumping out from the sofa and rushing towards her. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly from the back. “I beg you…please don’t leave me…” the tears he had been holding back started to stream down his face.

She sighed softly and gently dislodged herself from him. “Go….” She turned around and held him by the shoulders. “I…” her own tears begin to fall. “have too….”

Go shook his head stubbornly. “Why? Why do you have to go? You can choose to stay here…with me….don’t you love me?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

“Of course I do. I love you more than anything. More than life itself. But if I don’t go…” her voice trailed off.

“If you love me, then don’t leave.”

“I love you that’s why I have to leave….” She said, picking up her bags. “I’m sorry Go…but this is for the best….trust me…”

Standing there helplessly, he felt her kiss him on his lips one last time, before placing the key he gave her in his hands. The next second, she was gone, leaving only memories behind.

As the door closed, Go slowly slid to the ground and started to cry, his heart breaking. “Why…why….why do you have to leave me…”he whispered, pounding his hands on the floor.

Present day:

Go sat in the common room, staring at a photo in his hands, his eyes watering slowly. “Today is your birthday…”he told the girl in the picture. “Do you still remember how we met? The meeting that paved the way for a lifetime of friendship?” he asked the picture. “The first time I saw you, I was a goner. I’ve never seen such a beautiful angel in my entire life. When you smiled, the whole room seemed to be brighter and I wanted to smile with you.”

“Funny, how fate took an unexpected twist. You had a magnetic aura around you and you were the only one who took the challenge and pointed out what no one dared speak out loud before.”

“You made me realize and wake up from the dream world I was living in for the past 20 over years. You were absolutely right. I was drowning in my own selfish desires by trying to escape the real world. You were the one who woke me up and for that I will always be grateful.”

Go touched the picture lightly, gently caressing the girl’s cheeks. “ You loved the ocean so much. Remember how you would drag me there at ungodly hour in the middle of winter? I was so annoyed at you for disturbing my beauty sleep but now I would’ve given anything to have you shake me out from bed.” He laughed to himself. “You would sit on the sands, looking up at the sky, with that look on your face. The breeze blowing your hair gently, making you look as if you’ve just fallen from heaven. It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful you were.”

*Knock KnOCK*

The knocking on the door, broke Go’s lonely conversation and he quickly wipe away the tear that had escape and stuff the picture carefully into his bag.

“Yo…” Ken’s face appeared.

“Yo….” Go replied as he walked in, followed by Juinichi. “Where are the others?” he asked, implying to the older three.

“Still in the shower I guess….”Juinichi replied, opening the fridge and grabbing a can of soda.

Ken started to dry his hair with his towel and sat down next to Go. “Half an hour till show time.” He muttered, looking at the clock hanging above the mirror.

Go nodded and grab the first set of costume and started to put it on.

“Go…” Juinichi called out and he turned around, buttoning his shirt. “You sent out the ticket again didn’t you?” he asked, staring at him with those big eyes of his.

Go looked away, avoiding eye contact.

“Did you?” Juinichi asked again.

Ken sighed and shook his head. “Go…she’s not coming…when are you going to wake up and realize that?” he asked softly. “You send out a ticket for each show to our concert everyday and she never showed up for a single one.”

“She will.” Go insisted stubbornly.

Juinichi looked at Ken and shrugged. “Go, why are you still doing this to yourself? It’s been two years already…maybe it’s time to let go.”

Go glared at Ken. “I will never let go. Never.” He told him.

Before any of them could say another word, the door opened and in walked three half naked men, looking fresh and clean.

“Where’s my costume?” Masa asked and Juinichi pointed to the clothes hanger near the door.

“Did you hear the deafening roar out there????” Hiroshi asked excitedly, changing into the costume identical to Go’s.

“Imagine millions of woman all lusting over us!!! I can never get bored of this job.” Inocchi giggled, wiggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly.

*Piak*

Masa slapped his head. “Hentai!” he scolded, rolling his eyes but couldn’t help smiling himself.
The three then realize that the younger guys weren’t laughing and had solemn looks on their faces.
“What’s wrong?” Hiroshi asked worriedly, being the mama of the group.
When none of them reply, his eyes widened. “Go…you didn’t, did you?” he asked gently.
Go didn’t reply but only sat in front of the mirror rigidly. “I’m going out…meet you guys at the stage entrance.” He said and stood up.
He walked out of the room before anyone could stop him.
Masa looked after him with a frown on his face. “I’m seriously worried about that guy.” He said.

“Yeah, me too..”Inocchi agreed. “Every time after the concert, he would lock himself in the room because of the disappointment.”

“He hasn’t let go…” Hiroshi stated. “But put ourselves in his shoes, just imagine how it feels.”

Ken sighed loudly. “I don’t think I can be that strong sometimes….looking out in the crowd, filled with hope, only to be greeted with an empty seat.”

“He’s not as strong as he let us think he is.” Juinichi said softly. “Go is actually as vulnerable as every single one of us in this room.”
Masa nodded in agreement. “He was really hurt….and I doubt the wound had even healed…” he said, leaning against the table and accidentally knocked Go’s bag to the floor.

The picture came sliding out and Masa picked it up. “She is really very beautiful…” he stated as the others crowd around him to have a look. “She was actually the best thing that happened to him….it’s really sad to see their relationship come to an end.”
“Anyone know what’s the real story?” Inocchi asked, looking at Ken and Juinichi specifically.
The two guys shook their head. “He never talks about it.” Juinichi answered. “When she left, did you remember the state he was in?”
All of them nodded. “It was really bad, he refused to get out of bed, he doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep, doesn’t do anything. He was a living corpse.” Hiroshi said.

“He still is….”Masa whispered, putting the picture back into the bag.

“There’s nothing we can do but be there for him…”Hiroshi told them. “So let us all just support him alright?”

They all nodded and headed out of the room. Go was waiting for them and they all got into their position. Right now, they have no time to worry except think of their performances and how to please their awaiting fans.

The stadium was like a huge heart that was pumping wildly with adrenaline. The crowd was roaring intensely and the cheers were deafening as the 6 guys appeared on stage while some girls started to shout their favorite idol’s names and some had tears of happiness rolling down their cheeks.

Name boards were waving frantically in the air while the atmosphere was thick with excitement. The concert started of with a bang as the guys started to move their bodies expertly and gracefully to the music.
None of them knew what turmoil Morita Go’s heart was in. He was a performer. He had been trained to handle situations like these. So, the smile on his face was definitely not one that was coming from the heart.

He waved at his adoring fans who screamed excitedly.

As he ran down the platform, his hands brushing the fingers of his fans, he kept his eyes peeled out for that familiar face. When he neared the destined seat, he saw it was empty, only a bouquet of lilies which he bought every single day and placed it on the seat, greeted him.
His heart sank to the bottom of his shoes and the smile on his face faltered slightly before he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder and looked up. Masa smiled at him encouragingly and gave him a slight nod. Go took a deep breathe and smiled widely and followed the leader down the stage.

When his solo came up, he had already lost hope that she would actually turn up. But deep down, he still wished she would appear. As he was lifted up on the crane, his eyes fell on that spot and saw that it wasn’t empty anymore. His eyes widened and his heart started beating faster.
She stood there, unmoving, looking up at him with the bouquet of flowers in her hands. He had to restrain himself from throwing down his microphone and jumping of the crane to get to her. She slowly lifted the bouquet of flowers and waved it at him. He waved back.

The smile on his face right now was genuine and he couldn’t wait for the concert to be over. This time, when he was done, she would be waiting for him. She had come back to him. She was back.
Soon, they were performing their closing song. “Arigatou!!!” the six of them cried out and bow slightly. When he looked up, he saw her lips moving. “Aishiteru…”

He nodded and smiled at her. “Aishiteru…” he whispered back before disappearing backstage with the others.

“Guys!!!” he cried when they entered the room. “SHE’S HERE!!!” he exclaimed happily.

Ken who had dropped himself onto the sofa sat up instantly, his eyes widening. “What?”

“She’s here…she was sitting there!!!” Go told him, his eyes shinning.
Juinichi who was unbuttoning his shirt looked up. “Are you sure?” he asked tentatively.

Go nodded. “Yes…She waved the bouquet of flowers and just now, before we came in, she said ‘Aishiteru’.”

Masa and Inocchi’s eyes met and they both looked at other worriedly. “Go…”Masa begin, trying to be gentle but Go wasn’t listening.

He was grabbing his stuff to get a quick shower and to wash off all the make up he had on. “I’m going to go bath. Be right back!” He said, bouncing out of the room.

Hiroshi could only stare after him in shock. “I’ve never seen him this happy since….”

"Did you guys see her?” Masa asked the others.

“No…but maybe I wasn’t actually looking….”Ken admitted.

“I thought the seat was empty….”Juinichi said, scratching his head slightly.

“Me too…”Inocchi raised his hands.

Hiroshi looked at the others. “Do you think….” He pointed to his head. “Something up here has snapped?”

“Don’t be stupid…”Masa scolded.

“Hey…it’s possible you know…he has been hoping to see that seat be occupied by her for the past 2 years. Maybe he wanted it so much he begun to imagine it?” Hiroshi said diplomatically.

Juinichi stood up. “Okay…let me get this straight. None of us saw her?” he asked and 4 guys shook their heads. “Only Go?” 4 heads nodded simultaneously.

“Well, then we just have to go see for ourselves.” Ken suggested.

Go reappeared, freshly scrubbed and shaven. “I’m going out to meet her.” He said happily.

“We’ll…urm…go with you.” Masa said, standing up.

Go looked at them for a moment and then nodded. “Okay…but you guys better leave after you say hi…I want some time with her alone.” He warned them, walking out of the room.

The stadium which was packed half an hour ago was empty, only leaving the stage crew cleaning up the place. Go and the 5 ran towards the designated seat only to find it empty.

Go looked around with a frown on his face. “Where did she go?” he muttered to himself.

“Urm…Go…” Ken called out and pointed to the bouquet of flowers.
Go picked it up, his hands shaking slightly.

“Go…maybe you imagined it…”Hiroshi said gently.

“I did not…she was here…I swear she was…”Go said in disbelieve.
“Go….”Masa started to say when suddenly footsteps was heard and 6 of them look up.

A man in his early 20’s stood a few feet away from them. He was very good looking and was staring straight at Go. “Morita Go?” he asked, walking towards them.

Go nodded. “Yeah…” the guy looked strangely familiar.

He took a few steps towards them. “I’m her brother…”he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Go’s eyes widened, not realizing the others had the same expression on their face as his. “Her brother?”

The guy nodded. “Yes…”

No wonder he looked familiar, he had an uncanny resemblance as her. They had the same hazel brown eyes. “Where is she?” Go asked, his heart pounding in his chest as he gripped the bouquet of flowers tightly. He needed to see her.

The guy looked away and bit his lips. “My sister….”

“Is she here?” Go interrupted, looking around the near empty stadium.
Shaking his head, the guy sighed softly. “My sister died 2 years ago…”

The bouquet of flowers fell from Go’s hands as the world begin to spin out of control. The stadium suddenly felt small and suffocating. He fell to his knees. “You’re kidding right?” he whispered, hoping that it was not true.

The guy shook his head. “I’m sorry…it’s the truth.”

“Impossible. I just saw her. She was standing here!!!” Go shouted.

“My sister passed away 2 years ago…..” the guy repeated.

“No!!! DON’T SAY THAT!!!” Go cried out as Masa and Hiroshi helped him to his feet.

“Go….stop it…”Hiroshi told him softly, his own heart breaking for the poor guy.

“She was on the way to your concert….” Her brother started to explain. “She never saw it coming…” his voice cracked slightly as tears begin to form in his eyes. “The truck hit her…it was an instant death…she felt no pain…”

Go was speechless and he didn’t know what to feel anymore. He was numb.

“She loved you….and leaving you was one of the hardest thing she ever did. When she received your ticket, she was really happy….”

“Please….please stop…”Go whispered.

Her brother nodded. “Anyway, she wanted me to pass this to you….” He said, taking a small CD box and held it out to Go.

Since Go made no movement to take it, Ken did it on his behalf. “I would’ve come sooner, but…part of me….well…I couldn’t forgive you. But today is her birthday and I had a dream last night. She wanted to me to forgive you. She wanted me to tell you that she loved you….”

Go looked at him, his eyes bloodshot.

“I hated you for 2 years. I blamed you for her death. I told myself, if you never sent that ticket, my sister won’t be dead. If she wasn’t hurrying to see you, she won’t be hit by that truck. But then I realize, if my sister was alive, she wouldn’t want me blaming you or you blaming yourself. She was happy and contented with her life. She once told me, the happiest time of her life was meeting you and being with you and if she died today, she would die happily coz she already know what love was.” With that said, the guy turned around. “Morita-san…I hope you don’t blame yourself as well…” he said and started to leave.

If Masa and Hiroshi wasn’t holding him up, Go would’ve fell to the ground. He was pale and looked as if he was going to pass out any moment.

“Get him into the common room now.” Inocchi said and the two man gently led the stunned and silent Go away from the seat.
Juinichi bent down and picked up the bouquet of flowers before following the others.

“This is not happening…”Go mumbled to himself as he sat on the sofa. “This is not true…she’s not gone….she was there….she was standing there…waving the flowers at me….”

“Go….” Ken kneeled in front of his friend.

“Ken…you’ll never lie to me….she’s not gone right? You saw her right?!” Go cried, grabbing him by the shoulders and shook him. “You saw her right?!”

“Stop it Go…you’re suffocating him.” Inocchi quickly tore them apart and everyone watched helplessly as Go crumpled and curled himself into a ball and started to cry like a baby.
[/b]

2 weeks later:
*Ding DonG*

“Maybe he went out?” Hiroshi said to Ken.
“You think?” Ken answered sarcastically. “He’s in there…” he said and started to pound on the door.
“GO! I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! OPEN UP!!!” he shouted.
“Why does this feel like dejavu?” Juinichi mumbled softly to himself.
Masa pushed his way to the front. “MORITA GO! OPEN UP! THIS IS AN ORDER!” he shouted, using his leader status, but the door remained closed.
“You know….there’s an easier way to get that door open.” Inocchi voice out and they looked at him.
“How?” Hiroshi asked and Inocchi reached into his pockets and pulled out a set of keys.
“By unlocking the door!” he exclaimed stepping in front and placing the key into the door.
“Baka! Why didn’t you tell us earlier!” Masa scolded, slapping his head.
“Well, you guys didn’t give me a chance to say anything.” Inocchi retorted and opened the door.
The apartment was pitch black although it was afternoon and the sun was shinning brightly outside.
“Damn….” Juinichi exclaimed when he found his way to the window and flung the curtains open. The place was in a mess.
“GO!!!” Ken shirked when he saw his friend lying lifelessly on the floor. “Go! Wake up!!” he shouted, slapping his friends face.
Slowly, Go’s eyes begin to flutter open. He looked confused for a few seconds before sitting up. “Go away.” He mumbled, pulling himself up unsteadily, using the table as his support.
Masa suddenly grabbed Go by the shoulders and dragged him to the kitchen. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” Go screamed while the others stare in shock.
He turned on the tap and dunk Go’s head underneath the running water, ignoring Go’s shouts and struggle.
“MASA!” Inocchi exclaimed, trying to help Go but Masa shot him one look and made him take two steps back.
“Wake up!! Enough is enough! How long are you going to lock yourself up?!” Masa asked angrily, finally letting go of the young guy.
Go slumped to the ground, chocking with water.
“Look at you!!!” he pointed at Go. “You’re nothing better than a zombie. She’s dead and you’re alive alright. You’re still breathing and how the hell would she feel if she saw you like that?”
“SHUT UP!” GO shouted. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL! YES. I WANT TO DIE OKAY. I WANT TO BE DEAD SO I WON’T HAVE TO FEEL!!!”
*SlAp*
Masa’s hands connected with Go’s face. “Did you feel that?” he asked. “Does it hurt?”
Go could only glare at Masa and if looks could kill, Masa was dead.
“It hurts right? You feel that don’t you? You’re angry now right? It just goes to show, you’re alive. You think that you’re the only person in this whole world who lost a loved one? Millions of people out there are loosing someone they love everyday. Do they give up on themselves? NO!! Only cowards do that.”
Unexpectedly, Go started to cry. “Masa…it hurts…”he whimpered and Masa reached out and hugged the crying guy. “Please…make it go away…I beg you….please make the pain go away…”
Masa’s own tears rolled down his cheeks. “I wished I could…but I can’t….”
Inocchi kneeled down next to Masa. “Go…pain is inevitable…but you have to be strong.” He said softly, touching his head.
“I don’t know how…it’s so pain…I just want it to go away….I want the pain to go away….”Go cried.
Hiroshi, Juinichi and Ken wiped away their own tears as they look at their crying brother. Soon, Go cried himself to sleep and also in exhaustion. Masa carried Go to the couch and lay him down.
“I don’t know how to help him anymore…” Masa said helplessly.
“I really don’t dare to leave him alone….”Ken added. “I’m afraid he’ll do something stupid.”
“I’ll stay with him….”Juinichi offered.
“We can all stay….”Hiroshi said with a sad smile.
Juinichi nodded and started to clean up the place. “But first, let’s get this place in order again.”
Half an hour later, the apartment looked neat and tidy and Juinichi flopped on the sofa opposite Go when suddenly the TV switched on.
Juinichi had accidentally sat on the remote control and was about to switch it off when a familiar face appeared on the screen.
The others stopped what they were doing and stared at the screen.
She was smiling at them, looking alive. “Hi Go….You must be wondering why on earth am I sending this to you.” She started to say. “Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But we both know that we can never be together. It was inevitable. If I didn’t leave, your life would be in danger. Up till today, the police haven’t caught him.”
She gave a soft sigh. “It’s my fault for being young and naïve at that time. I know that you’ve said many times you’re not afraid of him. But I can’t take the risk. He was coming closer and I could feel him. I never told you this, but the day before I left, he called me and told me that he was going to kill you if I didn’t leave. Your life meant more to me than anything Go. I couldn’t risk that. That’s why, I need you to carry on with your life happily and live well.”
Juinichi looked at Ken, his eyes wide with surprise. It was the CD her brother had passed to Go the other day.
“Anyway, I don’t think I can ever see you again. So I’m making you this VCD so that you’ll always remember me. I love you Go. I really do. Love you with all my heart and soul. From now on, I could only see you from afar.”
“Remember when we had this huge argument? You left in a huff and I thought I lost you forever. I went to the seaside to calm down and found myself missing you. Then I saw you, in a distance. I couldn’t believe my eye. Your face broke into a wide smile as you ran and wrapped your arms around me. I can't believe it. My heart suddenly seemed to have been stuck in my throat. My palms suddenly felt clammy. And my expressionless mask failed me once again as I smiled and returned your embrace. I breathed in the scent of your hair, the feeling of your embrace, the touch of your skin. That’s when I knew that you’re the most important person to me.”

“We didn't need words. Silence has always been enough for both of us. It is in this companionable silence that I found comfort the most. You were the only one I could share this with and still are. I almost felt like a carefree brat once again. I felt the joyous release like I was being freed from the chains of duty that held me back. And with these, I could feel all the repressed feelings resurfacing from hiding in the dark depths of my heart where I pushed them so long ago.”
“I would’ve given anything to be with you….anything. You thought me what true love was and I’m thankful for that. I’ve never been happier in my life. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but I guess fate had different plans for us.”
“Honestly, I doubt there’s any words left to be said. But I just need you to know, that I’ll always love you. Always. You’ll forever be my Go. Nobody will ever replace you in my heart. Never. The time I spent with you will always be etched in the depth of my heart and I will never ever forget you. Your kisses, your smile, your smell….everything about you…I will never forget….”
“But Go…please…please don’t ever change. Always be that sweet and sensitive person you always are. A person who looks at life openly and knows how to enjoy it to the fullest. Don’t give up….Gambatte ne!” She smiled and gave a slight wink.
“Morita Go….I love you….just don’t ever forget that.” She said, a crystal tear slid down her clear skin. “Sayonara…” with that, the screen went blank.
Hiroshi sniffed softly and looked at Masa whose eyes was bloodshot as well.
“Sayonara…”came a soft whisper and they all looked behind and saw Go who was sitting up and had tears streaming down his face.
They didn’t realize he was awake and had watched the VCD as well.
For the first time, Go looked peaceful and had a small smile on his face. “I understand now baby…” he said to the blank screen. “I know you’ve sacrificed for me…I promise you…I promise that I’ll go on living for you….”
As soon as he finished those words, a butterfly came flying into the apartment and landed right on Go’s hands. “Aishiteru…”he looked at the butterfly and watched it fly away.
It was as if she was saying her last goodbye….

thx for sharing the mag scans aka...

All of them look absolutly radiant under the theme "After Rain V6"... :love_eyes: :love_eyes:

For those who have not seen the excellent PV of this song.. i have done some screen captures.. Hope you galz like it.. :love_eyes: :love_eyes:

These screen shots are the actual size of the video.. so it may take some time to load.... please be patient..

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

More.. :nut: :nut: :nut:

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

Some more.. ehehehe... :crazy: :crazy: :chatter:

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

[image]

Ok this is the last batch...

sorry for flooding the page..

[image]

[image]

[image]

You are amazing Angel! Go's story is awesome!! :applaud:

Thanks for the caps Jewel! :mrgreen:

I wonder when they're gonna put out another clips DVD? :crazy:

Your story is so sad, Angel! I can't help crying now... :sweat:

Thanks for the screencaps... I love this PV. :love_eyes:

Thanks for the screen caps Jewel!...Masa looks so.. :inlove: :bonk: HOT!! hehehehe..

I believe he did most of the solo in that song right...WOO HOOO!!

Rinrin wrote:I wonder when they're gonna put out another clips DVD? :crazy:

Good question!! It took forever for me to download BT files..(bloody idiot Dial ups!)

Akakage wrote:Good question!! It took forever for me to download BT files..(bloody idiot Dial ups!)

I have cable modem at home, but my brother hates it when I take up space on the computer! He's always scolding me about taking all the space on the hard drive so I try not to download too many stuff! :sweat:

Secret Love

The familiar warm breeze filled my lungs as I breathed in deeply. I could feel the wind ruffling my hair, the ends dancing carelessly. As I stepped out from the confinement of the airplane, I craned my neck to get rid of the cricks from the day-long flight. I drank in my surroundings with pleasure. Straightening my starched white polo, I smiled to myself as I descended the steps.

I'm home.

“Where are you headed to after this?” Hiroshi asked.

I looked at him and shook my head. “I’m tired….maybe I’ll go home and crash.”

Ken shook his head disapprovingly,"(coughs) Oyaji. (coughs)"

I shot him an evil glare and he laughed along with the others. “SHUT UP!”

As I turned around, I couldn’t help but smile. I’m glad that I had this 5 guys in my life to cheer me up. But right now, I needed to get away from them.

“Bye guys! See you tomorrow.” I said, heading towards the exit.

As the car speed down the freeway, I looked at the blurry buildings and recalled the day I left you. Yes, I promised you 5 years ago that I would return and see you and that is one promise I meant to keep.

I told you that I would not return until I achieved my dreams and now that I have, I’m coming back. I’m sorry it took that long…but the thing that actually kept me going was you.

The image of a petite young lady with long brown hair and captivating doe eyes floated in my mind. Yes, I’m returning to you.

I wonder if you’ve changed. Are you different now? Are you any less of the girl I used to know back then and more of a woman now? Do you still have that fiery blaze in your eyes when you’re adamant and felt strongly about something? I have so many unanswered questions and I would give anything to see you soon.

That’s why I’m returning to you now…

Soon, I found myself standing in front of an abandoned park. A place where we used to share our problems and stories. I used to come here to look at the stars because it was the clearest and brightest here, without any tall buildings blocking the sight. We could spend hours just lying on the grass, looking up. Boy, do I miss those days.

As I walked towards the middle of the park, memories of the past washed past me like an old movie replaying on tape. Your laughter rang in the air as I imagined you sitting on that very swing over there. It was your favorite spot.

Then, that image of you slowly turned around and smiled at me.

I blinked a few times, thinking it was my imagination. But as you got up and walk towards me, I realized I wasn’t dreaming. It was really you!

Your beautiful face broke out into a huge smile as you ran the last few steps towards me, your hair flying behind you. I couldn’t move or think at that moment as I was too enthralled by your beauty. The only thing that reminded me that I was alive was my heart that was pounding so fast in my chest I thought it was going to burst. You threw your arms around me and hugged me tightly.

That brought me back to my senses and I slowly wrap my arms around your tiny waist. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply the scent of your hair. I’ve dreamt of this day ever since you waved to me goodbye at the airport. The touch of your skin and the warmth of your body felt so good.

“I missed you.” The words came tumbling out of my mouth as you pulled away gently.

Given a chance, I wouldn’t want to let go. I wanted to stay this way forever, in your embrace.

“I missed you too…” you said, looking up at me with so much affection, that I felt all the years of stress and worry fade away into a far distance. You made me feel alive again.

Our eyes locked together, studying each other as if trying to see if the years apart had changed any of us. To me, you’ve grown into a beautiful lady, the childish pigtails were gone, and the features on your face were more refined. In other words, you were breathtaking.

I’ve no idea how long we stood there, staring at each other. With you, I felt I was in a different time zone. A place where time moved slowly and only had the two of us. You lifted your hands slowly and touched my cheeks and I closed my eyes to feel the coolness of your palm against my warm cheeks.

You have no idea, with just that touch, you made me, Sakamoto Masayuki turned into jell-o. The gentle silence of the night surrounded us and that’s when I realized we didn’t need words to speak or tell each other how we felt. It is in this companionable silence I found comfort the most. For it is only you that I could be myself again.

Taking my hands in your small ones, you led me to the bench and we sat down next to each other, shoulder to shoulder. I almost had to kick myself, to fight back the urge to bent down and kiss that inviting soft lips of yours.
You lifted your hands and push away a stray hair which had escape, when suddenly, something caught my eye. I felt my heart jump into my throat as I closed my eyes and opened it again to have a second look. I was not mistaken…there it was, that sparkling diamond set in the center of an intricate platinum band.

“No…” I whispered softly to myself in horror. This can’t be happening. This is not true.

The world begun to closed on me as I felt myself go pale. “Tell me that you bought this at a gift shop because you thought it was pretty. Tell me that you wore it on your left hand because you wanted to chase away potential lovers.” I thought to myself furiously.

You looked up and saw me staring at your finger and an affectionate smile slowly appear on your face. “Masa, he proposed to me!” you exclaimed blissfully. “I wanted you to be the first person to know and I knew you were coming back today, so I waited here for you.”

I looked into you eyes and saw how happy you were and that moment, my heart stopped beating. My thoughts and emotions tumbled onto each other in a chaotic mess. “It can’t be…No…it can’t be….this is not happening. Don’t you know how I feel for you? You know me so well…yet don’t you know that I love you?” I screamed in my mind but my mouth remained shut.

“I didn’t see it coming you know, I told him to take it back because it looked expensive but he said he wanted me to have the best and refused to bring it back.” You said shaking your head, but there were fondness and understanding in your eyes and a certain softness as you look at the ring on your finger.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you gushed, twirling the ring on her fingers. The colors danced on the crystal stone as the light from the lamp post hit it. The twinkling of that diamond was definitely blinding, but not more than that twinkle in her eyes.

I was overwhelmed with that look on her face, she was shinning more brightly than any diamonds in the world. For the first time, I realized that she was truly happy.

I forced myself to muster out the most genuine smile I could.

“Congratulations.” I chocked out softly, my heart breaking as I said those words.

You smiled at me and hugged me in delight. I guess you were too happy to see that pain in my face and that dullness in my eyes. I closed my eyes, to prevent any tears from falling down.

You don’t need me anymore. You’ve found someone else to lean on, to share your burden and your problems. To hug you and cry with you when you were sad, to laugh with you when you were happy and to talk to you when you were lonely. He had taken my place as your wall of support.
“She’s happy….” I thought to myself. “This is what I want right? For her to find happiness…”

I look at you and took a deep breathe. “I’m so happy for you.” I said and my heart shattered into tiny pieces.

Did you notice that slight quiver in my voice? I guess not, as she tightened her arms around me. No matter how hard this is going to be, I’ll be happy for you as long as you’re happy. Because, this is what love is all about, seeing the one you love being happy. To sacrifice everything you have for her. That is love.

Oh God, look at your face, you’re beaming. I could only smile as I see that happiness shine brightly in you. You radiated and it was obvious you were so in love without a doubt.

There we sat, on the park bench, with your head on my shoulders like you used to and I wondered if we would ever have a chance like this again. To be together again.

We looked up at the stars and allow the breathtaking sight to dissolve all our worries and thoughts. At that very moment, we were at peace. Nothing was in our minds except that blinking stars in that black velvety sky. Just like before, the stars in the night belonged to you and me. Belonged to only the two of us.

2 weeks later:

“You look like shit.” Ken stated as I walked in after the holidays.

“Thanks….” I replied, sitting down next to Juinichi who was happily chomping on an apple.

I knew I looked horrible. Ever since that day, I couldn’t eat or sleep properly. My eye bags were enough to send the panda’s into competition and I’ve lost a few pounds, due to the lack of food.

“Where have you been for the past 2 weeks? We’ve been trying to call you.” Inocchi asked.

“Around…” I mumbled.

Hiroshi walked into the room. “WE HAVE MAIL!!!” he exclaimed, holding a huge sack filled with fan mails.

Go’s eyes widened as he sat on the floor and allow Hiroshi to empty the contents of the sack in front of him. Letters came pouring down like an endless rain. “OH MY GOD!!! WE’VE TO READ ALL THIS?” he asked in horror.

“Yes….” Hiroshi answered, happily sitting down next to him. “Without our fans, we won’t be here. So this is the least we could do.”

He looked up at us and motioned for us to come closer. “Come on guys, get your eye drops ready and start reading!” he said with extreme energy that made me smile slightly.

I heard Juinichi sigh softly and plopped down next to Go. “Okay…Gambatte!!!” he cheered on himself and opened the first letter.

Inocchi suddenly started to laugh hysterically and pounded on Ken’s back making the poor boy cough. “OH!!! You should hear this!!” he exclaimed, holding up a pink scented paper.

“To my dearest Ken-ken…” he started and Ken tried to grab the letter out from his hand but Hiroshi held him back. “I love you so much. I dream about you every night. I also imagine you being next to me, holding me and being beside me every second of the day. Some people say I’m mad but I know I’m not. I know that we are meant to be together and one day we would be….” Inocchi didn’t finish the letter as Ken escaped from Hiroshi’s grip and pounced on him.

Inocchi was laughing hysterically as Ken grabbed the paper and hastily crumpled it and sat on top of it. “Baka…” he scolded.

Despite the condition I was in, I laughed. I realized then that without these 5 guys, I would never be sitting here today. They were as close as brothers to me and were one of the few people where I could truly be comfortable with and be myself other than her.

“Oh yeah…I forgot…” Hiroshi snapped his fingers and pulled out 6 pearl white envelopes. “This came in especially for us today.” He said, handing out the envelopes one by one to the designated person whose name was printed elegantly on the front.

Before I even got mine, I knew what the contents were. My hands shook as Hiroshi handed my envelope and I slowly opened it as if it was made of delicate glass.

The room suddenly became extremely silent as I pulled out the wedding invitation card. I looked up and saw 5 pairs of eyes staring at me. Of course they knew about her. They knew how much I loved her as well.

“Masa…” Juinichi said and I shook my head.

“You knew earlier didn’t you?” Hiroshi asked and I nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Inocchi demanded, stuffing the invitation back into the envelope.

I shrugged, knowing too well if I spoke, I would break down.
Morita sighed softly. “Is that why you avoided us for the past 2 weeks?” he asked gently.

I looked away.

“Masa…are you alright?” Ken touched my shoulders and that’s when all my defenses and wall I’ve put up came crumbling down.

That comforting touch made the tears I’ve been struggling to hold back roll down my cheeks.

They didn’t say anymore as they knew no words could comfort the pain I was feeling inside. They each sat around me, giving me their silent support which I appreciated greatly.

The wedding was a week away. 7 days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes and 604800 seconds away till she becomes another man’s wife.

“What are you going to do?” Morita was the first to break the silence as I looked up and wipe my tears away.

I took a deep breathe and stood up. “There’s nothing I can do except go to the wedding and give her my heart felt congratulations.”

“Have you ever told her that you loved her?” Inocchi asked and I shook my head.

The truth was, I never had the guts to tell her how I felt. I probably took for granted that she knew. “No…”

“WHY NOT?” Ken exclaimed.

“I tried to…many times…but…but it wasn’t easy….the next thing I knew, I had to leave…” I answered, closing my eyes and her image came floating in my mind.

“It’s not too late…”Juinichi said softly and my eyes flew open. “It’s not too late to tell her that you love her.”

“I can’t do that…..”

“Yes, you can. Maybe all this time, she has been waiting for you to tell her that you love her. Maybe she only agreed to marry him because you never confessed your love to her?” Hiroshi said.

I shook my head adamantly. “No…I can’t do this to her. If you saw how happy she was, you would understand. I can’t break that happiness for her. She deserves it.”

“And what about you? Do you deserve this?” Go asked, shaking my shoulders lightly.
I couldn’t answer him. He had no idea how many times I’ve asked that question in the night when I’m alone in my room. Did I deserve this? Did I deserver to feel this pain? Did I deserve to let her go?

Yes….

“Yes… I deserve this.” I told him. “I deserve all this because I left and wasn’t there for her when she needed me. He was. He was there when I was not.”

“Masa, you do know that a fight isn’t over until the opponent is knocked down. As long as she haven’t say ‘I Do’, the fight is still on. Don’t give up.” Inocchi advised.

“I have too…” I whispered. “I’ve lost the fight the minute I said goodbye to her 5 years ago…5 years is a long time. People change…I’ve changed…” I said sadly.

Ken shook his head with a frown. “Yes, people change. But your love for her didn’t. That’s enough to make you fight on.”

“Don’t you understand? She’s happy!” I exclaimed. “That shine in her eyes, that glow on her face. She’s in love! What makes you think that I’m capable of giving her the happiness he could? What makes you think I’ve the right to take away everything that she has right now?”

Everyone didn’t have an answer for me.

“Even if she agreed to follow me, I can’t give her happiness. I can’t be with her out in the open. I can’t be with her 24 hours a day. She would have to share me with our fans. She would have to stand in the dark, silently supporting me. She would be a secret and our love which is so pure and true would be made into something dirty and corrupted.”

They knew I was right. That’s the life we choose. The life we had to endure. That’s the life on an entertainment artiste. It’s a life which you learn to love and hate.

“I can’t do that to her…I really can’t…she deserves to be happy. She deserves to be loved out in the open. She deserves a man who can scream ‘I love you’ in public and not get shot by the public. She deserves a man who can devote his life, his time and his love to her. And that man is not me…”

“But you love her right?” Morita asked.

I nodded. “With all my heart and soul.”

“Isn’t that enough? Your love for her? I’m sure she’ll understand. I’m sure she will want to get through those bumpy roads with you.” Juinichi said.

“That’s the thing…I don’t ever want her to suffer. I don’t ever want her to ride in the bumpy roads with me.”

Hiroshi nodded understandingly. “Loving someone in silence is harder than loving someone out in the open…” he said.

Inocchi smiled at me. “We understand….”he patted me on the shoulders. “Don’t worry…we will be with you every step of the way.”

“Thank you…” I hugged him.


A week later.

It seems just as if it was yesterday, isn’t it? How time flies by so quickly.

The sun's strong yellow-orange colored rays weakened as it prepared for its dusky descent. The traces of light displayed across the horizon in hues of pink, violet and red. Slowly, it sank as its rays faded away and darkness overcame the skies. The light had succumbed. The sun had let go.

Yes…I understand now. I’ve to let go too.

I realized everything was too late. I stood next to him as I watch you walk down the aisle, looking beautiful in the white gown. For a few moments, I couldn’t breathe as I stared at you and saw you approaching me slowly, the distance between us closing by.

It wasn’t until you stepped up and he took your hands I realized that at that moment, you were saying goodbye. It was a hard slap on my face.

The fight had ended long ago. It ended the day I left you 5 years ago. You look extremely beautiful. So beautiful that I never want to take my eyes off you.

Let me tell you one thing though, the man standing next to you, is the most luckiest person on earth. Because he had you. You said ‘I Do’, your voice ringing through the halls clearly and proudly.

Yes, you made the right choice. He was a good man. A man who will never mistreat or neglect you. A man who will give you 101% of his heart and time. A man who would die protecting you.

“Are you alright?” Hiroshi whispered softly, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, too choked up to reply.

How I wished it was me that you had said ‘I do’ to. I would’ve given anything to be the one standing next to you right now. Anything.

As he bent down to seal the promise of eternity with a kiss, I felt my heart contract in my chest. As painful it was to look, I kept my eyes opened and saw you look up at him adoringly and returned his kiss with love.

Everyone around you clapped and rejoiced for your marriage. Even I had a smile on my face, clapping along. Only 5 guys knew how much pain I was in. Every single step you took, was one step further away from me.

You weren’t mine anymore. You belonged to someone else.

The reception was over, and I was left sitting on the ledge on the rooftop of my apartment.

Letting go…

It will not be easy for me…no, letting go is never easy. Perhaps I’ll never actually truly learn how to let go of you, of ‘us’. All I have are just the memories of the past, pages of memory I can never return to. There, where it can no longer be tampered with nor erased, that is where I'll keep "us."

How true is the saying, ‘With love, comes pain.”

My hand automatically graze my cheeks and wipe away the single drop of tear that managed to escape. It is no use crying now. I have loved and lost. But knowing I’ve lost to someone better is a slight comfort to me. I know, because for a short period of time, you were mine. You never denied me the comfort and love of being a true friend. And that was more than enough for me. I dare not ask for more.

You two deserves each other, that I can honestly say. I know he will take care of you for the rest of your life. My brother loves you that much, even so much more than he loves himself. He's willing to give up the world, his life, just to have you by his side. And I know how much you love him too. Perhaps, fate had been cruel to me. But I'm happy that she was kinder to you.

“Loving you means setting you free…” I whispered, the wind carrying my words.

By now, the sun had fully set and the stars in the sky was making its appearance. I sighed softly and felt my shoulders become lighter.

“Masa…”

I could hear your voice calling my name.

“Masa…”

I heard it again…

I turned around, and there you were, standing there with a smile on your face.

“What are you doing here?” I asked and you walked to me.

“I came to say goodbye….” You said. “But I can’t leave without seeing my best friend one last time…”

A tear fell from your eyes as you reached out to hug me. “I’m going to miss you…” you whispered.

“I’m going to miss you too….” I hugged you tightly for one last time. “Be happy…”

You gently pulled away and nodded. “I will…” you promised.

“You’ll always have a special place in my heart and nobody will ever replace you Sakamoto Masayuki. For I love you…” you told me, a sudden flash of pain went through you eyes so fast I thought I imagined it.

You loved me?

With that, you turned around and walk away. I watch silently as you walk away from me, from my life and to my brother, waiting for you with open arms. I’m still a coward. To the very last second, I couldn’t tell you that I love you.

As you reached the exit door, you hesitated at first, as if you didn’t want to leave. “I LOVE YOU!” I suddenly screamed and you turned around.
Your eyes widened and tears fell down your cheeks like glistening diamonds. “Thank you…” you whispered and the look in your eyes told me that even thought it’s too late, you were glad that I finally told you.

A second later, you disappeared. I closed my eye with content. A burden I’ve been carrying for 5 years have been lifted off and I felt lighter. I finally told you how I felt.

I looked up at the sky again, this time seeing it in a different light. The stars seemed brighter tonight. And with the moon, stars and the heavens above as my witness, I made a silent vow. A vow to be there for you always. Now and forever…even if its a mere shadow behind the man you love.

My brother.