Love/Relationship/Potential Relationship Advice

Wynter wrote:Question: How long should a couple be together before engaging in anything sexual?

I know the answer is "when the time is right", but I mean, specifically from a guy's perspective, when would a guy think it should happen?

If it happens too quickly, the girl will be labelled a slut. If it happens too slow, the girl would be considered the neighbors grandma. Where's the mid-ground?

if it's gonna be something serious, let's say... 3 months?

but it's a totally different thing if he's toootally hot. like steamy hot.

but what do i know. i've only had one real girlfriend, two heart-brakes, and now i'm bi-curious :beaten:

Wynter wrote:

Hmm. Like what?

Well, like age of the guy, previous relationship history/experience, how much he likes the girl in question (as in enough for a "permanent" relationship), cultural differences, religious/moral differences....

monta wrote:

if it's gonna be something serious, let's say... 3 months?

Hmmm... that's what coco-chan said as well. So 3 months.

but it's a totally different thing if he's toootally hot. like steamy hot.

but what do i know. i've only had one real girlfriend, two heart-brakes, and now i'm bi-curious :beaten:

Awwww! :patpat: What you need is your first relationship with a guy. That'll satisfy your curiosity and perhaps make things more "clear" for you. :hug:

Anime Dad wrote:

Well, like age of the guy.

Wow, I must be totally oblivious. Why does the age of the guy matter when it comes to sex? Unless he's a minor, of course. :bleh:

previous relationship history/experience

Secure and tested. :victory:

how much he likes the girl in question (as in enough for a "permanent" relationship)

:sweat: Good question...

cultural differences, religious/moral differences....

But this would only matter if one is not in agreement, right? I don't think the situation will be forced... both would HAVE to be in agreement.

Was that a general question or was there some personal interest involved? :naughty: :beaten: (Oops, should I delete this question?)

Wynter wrote:

But this would only matter if one is not in agreement, right? I don't think the situation will be forced... both would HAVE to be in agreement.

Well, it's a reason why he wouldn't. Maybe it wouldn't come up immediately ;)

Wow, I must be totally oblivious. Why does the age of the guy matter when it comes to sex? Unless he's a minor, of course.

Well, an older/more experienced guy could possibly not rush into anything without being sure whereas a younger guy may not be so patient.


You wanted opinions, right? :headscratch:

Wynter wrote:Question: How long should a couple be together before engaging in anything sexual?

I know the answer is "when the time is right", but I mean, specifically from a guy's perspective, when would a guy think it should happen?

If it happens too quickly, the girl will be labelled a slut. If it happens too slow, the girl would be considered the neighbors grandma. Where's the mid-ground?

I think you should have a basis for your physical relationship first. Make sure you have some familiarity. If that feels like it's the first night, so be it... if it feels like 3 weeks, fine.

As for me, it's been highly variable. I've had sex with a long term girlfriend (nearly 2 years) after having only known her 4 hours and I've not had anything happen for 4 weeks with a short term fling (just about killed the poor girl, I'm afraid.. she should have said something!) - actually it's better than that - I didn't even kiss her for like 3 weeks.

Anime Dad wrote:Well, an older/more experienced guy could possibly not rush into anything without being sure whereas a younger guy may not be so patient.

Now that you put it that way, I hope I can find some younger guy instead of an older one. :mrgreen:

cori wrote:Was that a general question or was there some personal interest involved? :naughty: :beaten: (Oops, should I delete this question?)

:notell:

Anime Dad wrote:

Well, an older/more experienced guy could possibly not rush into anything without being sure whereas a younger guy may not be so patient.


You wanted opinions, right? :headscratch:

LOL! No! I wanted advice. :)

phlargo wrote:

I think you should have a basis for your physical relationship first. Make sure you have some familiarity. If that feels like it's the first night, so be it... if it feels like 3 weeks, fine.

As for me, it's been highly variable. I've had sex with a long term girlfriend (nearly 2 years) after having only known her 4 hours and I've not had anything happen for 4 weeks with a short term fling (just about killed the poor girl, I'm afraid.. she should have said something!)

So it all comes back to whatever feels right, eh? I guess my question stems from "where does it all start?" If the guy doesn't initiate, should the girl? Or vice versa? I guess we should all just leave it up to time.

cori wrote:

Now that you put it that way, I hope I can find some younger guy instead of an older one. :mrgreen:

LOL! Yer awesome. I'll stick with the older guys. I'm such a prune. :ashamed:

Wynter wrote:

LOL! Yer awesome. I'll stick with the older guys. I'm such a prune. :ashamed:

:lol: nothing wrong with them ;)

LOL! No! I wanted advice.

That's what I meant :ashamed:


I'm probably the wrong person to offer advice on the subject anyway, being married for 22 years to my first love :beaten: But you'll probably get a few different bits of advice from different people....

Wynter wrote:

LOL! Yer awesome. I'll stick with the older guys. I'm such a prune. :ashamed:

I think a girl should feel free to initiate things. If the guy isn't comfortable, he'll make that clear... just as a girl should do the same.

Wynter wrote:So it all comes back to whatever feels right, eh? I guess my question stems from "where does it all start?" If the guy doesn't initiate, should the girl? Or vice versa? I guess we should all just leave it up to time.

Despite what I've been saying, I'm pretty old fashioned, so I usually let the guy make the first move, whether it's a kiss or something more. Only in the initial phases though. :mrgreen:

LOL! Yer awesome. I'll stick with the older guys. I'm such a prune. :ashamed:

I like older guys too, but maybe I need someone young to make it a bit more spicy. :naughty:

cori wrote:

Now that you put it that way, I hope I can find some younger guy instead of an older one. :mrgreen:

:metaldevil:

cori wrote:I like older guys too, but maybe I need someone young to make it a bit more spicy. :naughty:

any of your neighbour's son hot and needs money? pay him to do the lawn :hehe:

Anime Dad wrote:

That's what I meant :ashamed:


I'm probably the wrong person to offer advice on the subject anyway, being married for 22 years to my first love :beaten: But you'll probably get a few different bits of advice from different people....

No worries! It was a "general" question on my part. :)

phlargo wrote:

I think a girl should feel free to initiate things. If the guy isn't comfortable, he'll make that clear... just as a girl should do the same.

Sold! I think that's the confirmation I was looking for. :mrgreen:

cori wrote:

I like older guys too, but maybe I need someone young to make it a bit more spicy. :naughty:

But older guys have experience. I think that alone can add a wonder of spice. I'd rather not go through the guessing game again. :sweat:

monta wrote:

any of your neighbour's son hot and needs money? pay him to do the lawn :hehe:

Or the guy who cleans the pool... *cue 70's porn movie music*

This is highly entertaining.

"Excuse me ma'am.. did you order a pizza (call a plumber)?"

Wynter wrote:
Sold! I think that's the confirmation I was looking for.

Absolutely! the guy may just be a little shy...

monta wrote:any of your neighbour's son hot and needs money? pay him to do the lawn :hehe:

Haha, that would be great, but I think that would be illegal. :sweat: Maybe I should hang around the college campus instead. :mrgreen:

Wynter wrote:

But older guys have experience. I think that alone can add a wonder of spice. I'd rather not go through the guessing game again. :sweat:

How many years older? And I guess you're right about younger guys not having that much experience, but still, you and I have more than 5 years difference in age, so my idea of someone "younger" could be your idea of "older."

cori wrote:

How many years older? And I guess you're right about younger guys not having that much experience, but still, you and I have more than 5 years difference in age, so my idea of someone "younger" could be your idea of "older."

30-year-old guys should be concerned..... :naughty:

Anime Dad wrote:

30-year-old guys should be concerned..... :naughty:

Ew, I just realized that's my younger brother's age. :bleh: So basically, I'll be screwing with one of his classmates if it came true. :ashamed:

:ashamed: