Love/Relationship/Potential Relationship Advice

ahochaude wrote:@ Kitakaze -

What's up dude? Been a cenutry since I last talked to you.
Screw it, just talk to her (with confidence) and work your game, homie. If it doesn't flow, it was never meant to.
Main thing to remember: Just be yourself.
If a woman isn't going to accept you for who you are, forget the whore and be content that even if she tried to, it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
True story.

hey Aho, what's up?

some good advice there, and so very true....in being yourself.
:bonk:

Hello everyone,

This is an interesting topic. If my mind is correct, I haven't posted on this topic here before, so let me introducte myself to all of you. My name is Remy. I am currently 20 years of age and live in the Netherlands. I'm a guy, by the way.

As some of the people close to me know, and some of you here may have already guessed, I have a weakness for Japanese women. In my opinion, they are the most beautiful women on the entire planet. Way better than the Dutch girls surrounding my existence every day. However, there are not many Japanese women (or Japanese women that moved to the Netherlands) here. And if I see one, the girl in question is always in the company of the enemy; her boyfriend!

Now, I respect the choices of every woman on the planet, and will never stop doing so, but I have not yet had the pleasure of a girlfriend to go out with, give gifts to and to be there for her when she's feeling down, or is in pain. Why is that, I wonder?

I do have to say that, because of my appearance, I'm a shy around the females. In the eyes of them, I am an ugly person and they do not wish to date me, or spend time with me at all. Of course, there are also other types of girls around. The kind that is nice to me. I've met a few, but none of them is interested in me in the same way. Friends, is what we are.

From the ladies on these forums (which hail from different locations around the word), I'd like an honest opinion. What do you think of me?

Me without glasses:
http://94.100.115.197/528750001-528800000/528775401-528775500/528775434_6_crTT.jpeg

Me with glasses:
http://94.100.115.79/528750001-528800000/528773601-528773700/528773651_6_hrVZ.jpeg

Aya_Man_1988 wrote:Hello everyone,

This is an interesting topic. If my mind is correct, I haven't posted on this topic here before, so let me introducte myself to all of you. My name is Remy. I am currently 20 years of age and live in the Netherlands. I'm a guy, by the way.

As some of the people close to me know, and some of you here may have already guessed, I have a weakness for Japanese women. In my opinion, they are the most beautiful women on the entire planet. Way better than the Dutch girls surrounding my existence every day. However, there are not many Japanese women (or Japanese women that moved to the Netherlands) here. And if I see one, the girl in question is always in the company of the enemy; her boyfriend!

Now, I respect the choices of every woman on the planet, and will never stop doing so, but I have not yet had the pleasure of a girlfriend to go out with, give gifts to and to be there for her when she's feeling down, or is in pain. Why is that, I wonder?

I do have to say that, because of my appearance, I'm a shy around the females. In the eyes of them, I am an ugly person and they do not wish to date me, or spend time with me at all. Of course, there are also other types of girls around. The kind that is nice to me. I've met a few, but none of them is interested in me in the same way. Friends, is what we are.

From the ladies on these forums (which hail from different locations around the word), I'd like an honest opinion. What do you think of me?

Me without glasses:
http://94.100.115.197/528750001-528800000/528775401-528775500/528775434_6_crTT.jpeg

Me with glasses:
http://94.100.115.79/528750001-528800000/528773601-528773700/528773651_6_hrVZ.jpeg

Images are blocked in my office but it doesn't matter, I am sure you look alright. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder anyway. :mrgreen:

I think you have to to work a little on yourself.
- be a little more open-minded - don't look at the outside only - I agree we all have our types types but don't say that Dutch girls are not interesting. The beauty aspect is the least important factor in a long-term relationship, trust me on that one. And no Japanese girl in the world wants to be liked for her apparance only.

- Make lots of female friends and come to understand that women are humans too: hang out a lot with girls but you must learn to see them as equals, as fellow humans not some out of league potential girlfriend material. Treat your female friends like you would treat you best mate, your sister or your cousin. In short don't idolise women.

- like yourself better: I don't think girls don't date you because they think you're ugly. Dress well and simple, shower everyday and trim your hair and you should be fine.

- try liking all kind of people: try to make lots of friends, be as social as possible and be positive. If a girl wants you as a friend - why not - she might have a cousin in Japan. :mrgreen:

EstherM wrote:

Images are blocked in my office but it doesn't matter, I am sure you look alright. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder anyway. :mrgreen:

I think you have to to work a little on yourself.
- be a little more open-minded - don't look at the outside only - I agree we all have our types types but don't say that Dutch girls are not interesting. The beauty aspect is the least important factor in a long-term relationship, trust me on that one. And no Japanese girl in the world wants to be liked for her apparance only.

- Make lots of female friends and come to understand that women are humans too: hang out a lot with girls but you must learn to see them as equals, as fellow humans not some out of league potential girlfriend material. Treat your female friends like you would treat you best mate, your sister or your cousin. In short don't idolise women.

- like yourself better: I don't think girls don't date you because they think you're ugly. Dress well and simple, shower everyday and trim your hair and you should be fine.

- try liking all kind of people: try to make lots of friends, be as social as possible and be positive. If a girl wants you as a friend - why not - she might have a cousin in Japan. :mrgreen:

Agree with you....

[quote="Aya_Man_1988"]
From the ladies on these forums (which hail from different locations around the word), I'd like an honest opinion. What do you think of me?

You look just fine. I think your shyness is much more of a problem than your looks. Smile at the lady you find attractive, say something pleasant, compliments never hurt and dont be bummed if she doesnt go for it. Go on to the next.
Life is all trial and error. You never know unless you try.
Good luck!
:victory:

but I have not yet had the pleasure of a girlfriend to go out with, give gifts to and to be there for her when she's feeling down, or is in pain.

Awww, thats one of the sweetest things I ever heard a guy say.

I was in the same boat as you until last year, except I was 21 at the time (:S). I too was shy and concerned with my appearance, thinking there must to be something wrong with me since all my friends had or had had partners. So, try not to worry about your appearance so much (you look fine btw, a bit of intellect with the glasses), we all feel that way ;P

My advise is don't rush into anything. Practise your confidence (a little can go a long way) and be daring. If you spot a pretty girl, then bite the bullet and go for it. But if you do remain single, just don't worry about it. With your nice personality, any girl would be lucky to go out with you.

^

i think these are some of the best advice that ppl have given.

I think it really does have a lot to do with confidence, and also being comfortable with yourself first, and being friendly and smiling.

Life is about taking chances, and in love/relationships, there are a lot of opportunities out there for people, they just have to take some risks, and not be afraid to lose, in order to gain.

I look at it this way, try, and if you don't succeed with this girl or that girl, move on...next, and eventually you will find her.

qilver wrote:^

i think these are some of the best advice that ppl have given.

I think it really does have a lot to do with confidence, and also being comfortable with yourself first, and being friendly and smiling.

Life is about taking chances, and in love/relationships, there are a lot of opportunities out there for people, they just have to take some risks, and not be afraid to lose, in order to gain.

I look at it this way, try, and if you don't succeed with this girl or that girl, move on...next, and eventually you will find her.

You're quite right. Thank you, and everyone, for the advice. I'll try to work on it :)

But... is that girl in the photo you, qilver?

Aya_Man_1988 wrote:
You're quite right. Thank you, and everyone, for the advice. I'll try to work on it :)

But... is that girl in the photo you, qilver?

^ :lol: Qilver is male :)

Anime Dad wrote:^ :lol: Qilver is male :)

:hehe: :rofl:

Once again, we need to have gender identifiers along with the avatars. :hehe:

bmwracer wrote:
:hehe: :rofl:

Once again, we need to have gender identifiers along with the avatars. :hehe:

Most of us have the opposite sex for avatars. :hehe:

Guess it depends on ones sexual orientation. ;)

Go for it, Aya-man!!

Eve wrote:Most of us have the opposite sex for avatars. :hehe:

All the more reason to have the gender identifiers. :sweat:

bmwracer wrote:
All the more reason to have the gender identifiers. :sweat:

I dont know about that.
It isnt like we are Match.com or anything. ;)

Eve wrote:I dont know about that.
It isnt like we are Match.com or anything. ;)

D-Addicts has it... Though some list their gender as "Unknown." :sweat:

bmwracer wrote:
D-Addicts has it... Though some list their gender as "Unknown." :sweat:

Unknown genders? Well, that's strange... :P
By the way, I LOVE your avatar... that look on her face!

Aya_Man_1988 wrote:Unknown genders? Well, that's strange... :P

Maybe more people have GID than you think. :sweat:

bmwracer wrote:
D-Addicts has it... Though some list their gender as "Unknown." :sweat:

Now that is beyond confused........ :rofl:


Maybe they should write "Undecided" instead. :P

lol I would pick 'undecided' :rofl:

I have a question I would like some advise about. How much time (relatively) do you think should pass before a person loves another?

Its difficult, I know every person is different. But I'm afraid that since I am not 'passionally' in love with my bf now that I might never be. I'm afraid I'm going to lead him on and ultimately hurt him.

Rozenrot wrote:lol I would pick 'undecided' :rofl:

I have a question I would like some advise about. How much time (relatively) do you think should pass before a person loves another?

Its difficult, I know every person is different. But I'm afraid that since I am not 'passionally' in love with my bf now that I might never be. I'm afraid I'm going to lead him on and ultimately hurt him.

I dont think there is a definite time frame for that kind of thing.

I will add that the two men Ive loved the most were pretty much Love At First Sight. I felt strongly right from the getgo. And the passionate feeling lasted for years with my ex till he wore it out. And is still going strong with the one I am currently with after three years.
The other people I was with never touched that part of me.

Hope that is some help.

Rozenrot wrote:lol I would pick 'undecided' :rofl:

I have a question I would like some advise about. How much time (relatively) do you think should pass before a person loves another?

Its difficult, I know every person is different. But I'm afraid that since I am not 'passionally' in love with my bf now that I might never be. I'm afraid I'm going to lead him on and ultimately hurt him.

How much time?....it really depends on a lot of factors.
who is involved, how long the two ppl have been dating, the depth of their relationship, and the overall chemistry they share.

I think the love starts out just as an emotion, especially early on in the relationship, as it is driven by an emotional euphoric type of love, a feeling "in love" phase. I think after awhile, the realities settle in, and the couple is face with a relationship, that begins to either wither as routine sets in, or it flourishes as a deeper love. I am not sure if i even believe love at first sight, but are we really crazily passionately in love with someone from the start, or is this just an emotional feeling from the start? who really knows, there are a lot of factors what drives us to be with one, versus the other.

(the girl in my avatar is Mariko Shinoda, a Japanese pop-idol, who i met in person before. :victory: )