Love/Relationship/Potential Relationship Advice

Rozenrot wrote:lol I would pick 'undecided' :rofl:

I have a question I would like some advise about. How much time (relatively) do you think should pass before a person loves another?

Its difficult, I know every person is different. But I'm afraid that since I am not 'passionally' in love with my bf now that I might never be. I'm afraid I'm going to lead him on and ultimately hurt him.

Were you ever passionately in love with him?

Do you know if he feels the same way? :sweat:

Rozenrot wrote:lol I would pick 'undecided' :rofl:

I have a question I would like some advise about. How much time (relatively) do you think should pass before a person loves another?

Its difficult, I know every person is different. But I'm afraid that since I am not 'passionally' in love with my bf now that I might never be. I'm afraid I'm going to lead him on and ultimately hurt him.

If it hasn't happened until now, don't think you will ever fall passionately in love with him . But as fellow j-members pointed out, there are different kind of loves, the real question is: is this what you have good enough for you? Perhaps it's just routine that bites hard?

In any case, being passionately in love doesn't neccessary guarantee a succesful relationship. I met this guy at a Halloween party last year and knew instantely I liked him. Never approached him though as he is in a relationship but he confessed recently. I am in love, and perhaps so is he (or he's just looking for a way out), but will it ever lead anywhere? Not very likely. Next one please :mrgreen:

What ever you decide to do, try to avoid the messy exit. Good luck ne :victory:

Aya_Man_1988, I'm going to go against the flow here. Disclaimer, I'm a guy who is likely about to incur the wrath of all Jdorama.com's female members. :beaten:

Aya_Man_1988 wrote:Now, I respect the choices of every woman on the planet, and will never stop doing so, but I have not yet had the pleasure of a girlfriend to go out with, give gifts to and to be there for her when she's feeling down, or is in pain. Why is that, I wonder?

You've just answered your own question. Girls talk about how it's their dream to find someone like that; reality is that they will pass on everyone like that they encounter. Your attitude here says several thing about you:

Although refreshing at first, you will become boring and repetitive quickly. The apex of said relationship will be "that's so sweet!", and a relationship needs more than that. Stability is good, but boring isn't. One built on what you can do for her is like a song with only a single note. Is that enough for you? Why would it be for her then? Ever wonder why they are only your friend? Ever hear them say a girl would be so lucky to have you as a boyfriend(but not them)? This is why.

You are the weaker of the relationship. In the deepest primal sense, a woman needs to feel that her man has strength to him, whether it be physical, intellectual, or passionate. A relationship built around "what you can do to make her happy" will strike her as weakness at an unconscious level. Biologically speaking you would be considered a sub-par mating specimen.

Ditch the shyness. Shyness as cute and sensitive stopped being a desireable trait to women at puberty. For why see above. Don't even think past that day when you approach a girl. One doesn't work out, then move to another. Yeah that sounds superficial but at that point everything is. Don't even think about a relationship until some time has passed with one.

I'm a little harsh here, but I'm seeing you walk down a road that, while laden with good intentions and heart, is all wrong. What you are doing in the end isn't fair to you and a relationship is about both parties, not just one. Or you could just ignore everything I've said. :hehe:

Kijinnmaru wrote:Aya_Man_1988, I'm going to go against the flow here. Disclaimer, I'm a guy who is likely about to incur the wrath of all Jdorama.com's female members. :beaten:

I actually agree with the gist of what you wrote. :mrgreen:

I read everything, and to a point yes, there is truth in it.

I do believe a woman wants to be treated well, and with kindness, but at what cost to the man. A man should not be in agreement 100% of the time, but should also not change for a woman, just to be accepted. I think he should stand his ground to things he honestly believes in, even if it is in disagreement with her. It shows to her, that he has a view, and has an opinion too.

Basically, a kind, nice man with confidence, and not afraid to take risks, and also make mistakes. I do realize that no one is perfect, and we are here to learn from those mistakes, i have made my fair share, and i am still learning. But until we know what we want, we will be aimlessly looking for it, whatever it may be.

Kijinnmaru wrote:Aya_Man_1988, I'm going to go against the flow here. Disclaimer, I'm a guy who is likely about to incur the wrath of all Jdorama.com's female members. :beaten:

No wrath from here. Someone being a bore is never going to work.
THogh I have several shy GFs who are with shy men though, (one doesnt have to be Tom Berenger in Full Metal Jacket ;) ) Shy doesnt hav eto meanboring.
But I am not arguing. Having lived with a SmokeJumper, a deep sea Captain and a professional Skydiver. Obviously, No WiMps allowed. :beaten:
But Aya-man looks are not the issue. :shakehead:

Eve wrote:one doesnt have to be Tom Berenger in Full Metal Jacket ;)

Hey hun, I think these 'pups' are too young to correlate our referrences to pop culture from 'our time'.
On the other hand, your point was truly excellent and on the dot. :D

^ Was Tom Berenger in Full Metal Jacket?

I think Evie means Platoon....

ahochaude wrote:Hey hun, I think these 'pups' are too young to correlate our referrences to pop culture from 'our time'.
On the other hand, your point was truly excellent and on the dot. :D

My Skydiver just pointed out it was Platoon. :ashamed:
Another great war film from "our time".

But the point is still the same. :mrgreen:

Eve wrote:

My Skydiver just pointed out it was Platoon. :ashamed:
Another great war film from "our time".

But the point is still the same. :mrgreen:

Leave it to bmw to point out the movies! :hehe:
I knew your point, and I'm sticking by ya, cause I actually thought the same as you until (uncle) bmw butted into correcting us!
:grumble:


nah, bmw. you're still the man! :bow:

bmwracer wrote:^ Was Tom Berenger in Full Metal Jacket?

I think Evie means Platoon....

:lol: You were just one post ahead of me, Beem.

The people at this site know their entertainment! :thumbsup:

Eve wrote:The people at this site know their entertainment! :thumbsup:

At least the older ones. :beaten:

Eve wrote:

:lol: You were just one post ahead of me, Beem.

Hun, he's a quick one.
You should know by now...
When he's logged on, he'll race others to snuff/lock/delete/or just shove peoples' mis-postings into their face! - That's why I love the guy! haha

ahochaude wrote:When he's logged on, he'll race others to snuff/lock/delete/or just shove peoples' mis-postings into their face! - That's why I love the guy! haha

Dang, you've outted me...!! :ashamed:

:rofl:

bmwracer wrote:
Dang, you've outted me...!! :ashamed:

:rofl:

You and I are one of the same!
That's why I can call it when I see it! :hehe: :hehe: :hehe:

ahochaude wrote:
I knew your point, and I'm sticking by ya, cause I actually thought the same as you until (uncle) bmw butted into correcting us!
:grumble:

He is the Keyboard Master!! :bow:

bmwracer wrote:
Dang, you've outted me...!! :ashamed:

:rofl:

83,680 posts are kind of a giveaway too. ;)

Eve wrote:83,680 posts are kind of a giveaway too. ;)

:ashamed:

bmwracer wrote:
:ashamed:

83,683 now ;)

ahochaude wrote:
You and I are one of the same!
That's why I can call it when I see it! :hehe: :hehe: :hehe:

hey Aho, what's up?
anything new?
:bonk:

qilver wrote:

hey Aho, what's up?
anything new?
:bonk:

Yo qilver!
Nothing much.
I'm going to get the big 'D' though.
I can't stand her (wife).
She came in April and stayed for 2 1/2 wks and I was like, wtf, it ain't gonna work no more.
So it's pretty much 'Ghandis' (gone- dees) - just in case, 'cause it's an Island slang.