Love/Relationship/Potential Relationship Advice

bmwracer wrote:
Not sure if my friend Kathy was my best friend, but we were really good friends... And we did "date," but it just didn't work... At least for her. :puppydog:

Awwwwww! :patpat: Well, it's her loss. Are you still friends?

Anime Dad wrote:

I thought it was a Morning Musume member ;)

:rofl: :rofl:

Wynter wrote:Awwwwww! :patpat: Well, it's her loss. Are you still friends?

Lost touch with her in '92. :puppydog:

I'm not sure if anyone's wondering why I've been so quiet on the forums, but the reason for that is because I have a little distraction in my life right now and I know if I posted here a lot, it would somehow slip out before I wanted to say anything in public. Well, basically, I have a friend who I have known for a while via the internet and I've kind of gotten involved with him. I went to visit him a couple weeks ago during the long weekend and I had a really wonderful time with him (most of it was spent indoors. :naughty: Ok, I just said that because I know he'll read this and will probably be amused by it :mrgreen: ). He's a really great guy and fun to be with. Most importantly, he's into Jdoramas (he even visits this site from time to time!) and Jpop. :D

The only thing is, this is more like a "friends with benefits" thing. While it would be nice to have something more than that, I don't know how possible it is since we don't even live on the same island and we both like our freedom. Well, whatever the case, I'm just going to have fun and enjoy whatever we have together. I plan to go visit him (and this time our mutual friends too) next month. And possibly the month after that...we shall see.

By the way, I don't think I'm really looking for advice, but I had no idea where to post this, so I just posted in this thread.

I was reading some of the comments on the previous page about people not dating their best friend and that. I haven't commented on this thread for about 13 months now :O at the time I was struggling cos the guy I liked was a really good friend and I didn't wanna ruin our friendship.
I think that's why a lot of people don't get together with such good friends, otherwise the world may be a happier place :) so many divorces these days :S

If anyone asks me who my best friend is now my boyfriend comes to mind, we were such good friends to begin with anyway and now when I wanna talk about anything he's the one I go to, for a hug, to cry on etc... I would go into all the reasons why but if I do it might sound mushy BECAUSE he's my boyfriend ^^;;;;;

That hurts my brain. You don't want to fall in love because it would ruin your friendship? Are lovers not friends? Or are you thinking about an (inevitable?) breakup?

On a related note, who has used an online dating site and what it your opinion?

i never fall love to anybody.i don't know why.i'm try but i still can't fall love to any women or girls.Maybe girls don't like me?maybe it true.have anyone can help me hao to find true love but remember just japan girls my type.heheheheheeeee :hehe:

inamoto_yoi wrote:i never fall love to anybody.i don't know why.i'm try but i still can't fall love to any women or girls.Maybe girls don't like me?maybe it true.have anyone can help me hao to find true love but remember just japan girls my type.heheheheheeeee :hehe:

Patience. If you're persistent and constantly on the lookout for people who match your interests and can work up some self confidence, I have no doubt you'll find someone. Doesn't always happen right away, but I'm sure there's someone special for you out there! :woot:

Also, I'm a firm believer that you can never fall in love with another if you don't really learn to love yourself. You have to know who you are and what you need and only then will you be able to really share that with someone else :flyingkiss:

There's this woman I always see when I go to Tapioca Express in Union City...I like her, but I never get a chance to talk to her because it's always so damn busy in that place. She always seems glad to see me, but that just may be one sided on my part, lol. I never get a chance to find out though because of the problem I mentioned above.

Anyone got any ideas besides doing something cheesy (or potentially creepy) like slipping her a note with my tip or asking when her break is?

kitakaze wrote:
Anyone got any ideas besides doing something cheesy (or potentially creepy) like slipping her a note with my tip or asking when her break is?

Cheesy isnt bad. I dont think, just flattering.

I think you could just say "Hi, Im not meaning to freak you out or anything but Ive been admiring you for awhile. Would buying you a cup of coffee sometime be out of the question?"

I know I wouldnt mind that and Im pretty fussy about peoples approaches.

kitakaze wrote:There's this woman I always see when I go to Tapioca Express in Union City...I like her, but I never get a chance to talk to her because it's always so damn busy in that place. She always seems glad to see me, but that just may be one sided on my part, lol. I never get a chance to find out though because of the problem I mentioned above.

Anyone got any ideas besides doing something cheesy (or potentially creepy) like slipping her a note with my tip or asking when her break is?

Ask her if she dates customers... :mrgreen:

I asked that question at my fave sushi restaurant... Unfortunately, the waitress was spoken for... For quite a while. :sweat:

Eve wrote:

Cheesy isnt bad. I dont think, just flattering.

I think you could just say "Hi, Im not meaning to freak you out or anything but Ive been admiring you for awhile. Would buying you a cup of coffee sometime be out of the question?"

I know I wouldnt mind that and Im pretty fussy about peoples approaches.

Well, that sounds good :). I'll give it a try next time I'm there. The only problem is that there's always a long line behind me when I'm there and she usually disappears to make my boba drink. Plus it's freaking loud in there when they blast Taiwanese tv and I tend to be soft spoken.

The only thing I worry about is embarrassing her. I know on at least one occasion a girl I asked out felt pressured to say no because of how embarrassed she felt in front of other people.

bmwracer wrote:Ask her if she dates customers... Mr Green

I asked that question at my fave sushi restaurant... Unfortunately, the waitress was spoken for... For quite a while.

Haha, that's a good one. :hehe: No worries about that waitress. I've done that repeatedly :sweat: . It's hard to tell with some women, especially the ones that lap up attention and neglect to tell you they have a boyfriend, hehe.

kitakaze wrote:Haha, that's a good one. :hehe: No worries about that waitress. I've done that repeatedly :sweat: . It's hard to tell with some women, especially the ones that lap up attention and neglect to tell you they have a boyfriend, hehe.

The scary downside is that if you get rejected and it's a really good restaurant, you might not be able to show you face there again... :sweat:

In my case, the waitress' parents owned and ran the restaurant... :sweat: :sweat: :sweat:

kitakaze wrote:Well, that sounds good . I'll give it a try next time I'm there. The only problem is that there's always a long line behind me when I'm there and she usually disappears to make my boba drink. Plus it's freaking loud in there when they blast Taiwanese tv and I tend to be soft spoken.

The only thing I worry about is embarrassing her. I know on at least one occasion a girl I asked out felt pressured to say no because of how embarrassed she felt in front of other people.

Seems like you maybe should order something different then, perhaps? So she wont disappear?
Too bad Easter is over, you could have given her a bunny.
The place never has a lull? Have you told her yet she looks terrific or noticed her hair? Anything that shows you might be interested

Itazura ichiban wrote:That hurts my brain. You don't want to fall in love because it would ruin your friendship? Are lovers not friends? Or are you thinking about an (inevitable?) breakup?

On a related note, who has used an online dating site and what it your opinion?

I have used eharmony/match.com,
it has gotten me some dates, and well, all i can say is it take a great deal of patience, and some investment of $, and a little time. I don't think online dating should be the only option, just an option. Nothing beats networking, if you have the benefit of being set up, by co-workers who know someone, family or friends, it is much faster, and well, i think in some ways easier.

Eve wrote:


Seems like you maybe should order something different then, perhaps? So she wont disappear?
Too bad Easter is over, you could have given her a bunny.
The place never has a lull? Have you told her yet she looks terrific or noticed her hair? Anything that shows you might be interested

I usually go on my lunch break, since it's just down the street, about 2:30, and it's always packed, especially if school's out. I may try going after work on an early shift.

kitakaze wrote:I usually go on my lunch break, since it's just down the street, about 2:30, and it's always packed, especially if school's out. I may try going after work on an early shift.

Maybe you should take an earlier lunch....?

bmwracer wrote:
Maybe you should take an earlier lunch....?

My coworkers are 3 year olds and the management are fascists, so my lunch is scheduled at 2:30 for me and a few others, lol. I can probably go earlier if I talk to my supervisor.

qilver wrote:

I have used eharmony/match.com,
it has gotten me some dates, and well, all i can say is it take a great deal of patience, and some investment of $, and a little time. I don't think online dating should be the only option, just an option. Nothing beats networking, if you have the benefit of being set up, by co-workers who know someone, family or friends, it is much faster, and well, i think in some ways easier.

Absolutely. It seems to me that a large part of "chemistry" is (now don't think I'm creepy!) actually being able to smell the other person. Something about pheromones.

@ Kitakaze -

What's up dude? Been a cenutry since I last talked to you.
Screw it, just talk to her (with confidence) and work your game, homie. If it doesn't flow, it was never meant to.
Main thing to remember: Just be yourself.
If a woman isn't going to accept you for who you are, forget the whore and be content that even if she tried to, it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
True story.