judochick wrote:
yeah, a virgin in her late twenties is pretty bad LOL
i'm a girl, by the way, phlargo haha :mrgreen:
i know a chick who never wants to marry, and i think she'll stay a virgin forever :sweat:
some people wanna get married to people who are experienced, but others, who are virgins, want to marry virgins so that they start their sex lives together, which i think is pretty cute :woot:
I did figure you were female - but in the forum of the public internet, I don't make any assumptions.
I agree it's a cute idea and wonderfully sweet for people to 'start their sex lives together' - but it's far better in the abstract (at least for me) than it is in practice.
judochick wrote:this is a question for all the guys...
are you guys turned off when a girl says she's going to stay celibate until marriage???
like you've been dating for a couple of months, but she still doesn't wanna have sex with you cuz she doesn't believe in sex before marriage.
is that a turn-off??? would you dump her???
It depends on many factors, like how has the relationship been progressing. Personally, I don't think I would just dump her. A relationship shouldn't just be about sex, but it's something that I think needs to happen, especially in a relationship between adults.
gaijinmark wrote: Does such an animal exist? :confused: [/list:u]
That sounds like sexism :shakehead: It's true, we're hormone driven, but not all guys are the same. Us good guys are out there. :victory: :mrgreen:
sadacori wrote:Just an update: I spoke to my friend earlier this week about what bothered me and she told me that as soon as she said it, she regretted it and she apologized, so all is good between us. :)
Grand! :woot:
Edit: I just realized I made a conscious decision NOT to comment about the sex thing. That's never happened before... :shocked:
judochick wrote:
i assume that you're a girl :mrgreen:
it's alright, i asked the question for the guys in here :victory:
Hai~!
I'm in that transition of life right now where I don't think I'm fit to actually make a comment or advise... or argue, for that matter. Gomen ne! :bow:
I'm in that transition of life right now where I don't think I'm fit to actually make a comment or advise... or argue, for that matter. Gomen ne! :bow:
Well I'm in no position to give relationship advice, but I still posted in this thread. :mrgreen:
I'm in that transition of life right now where I don't think I'm fit to actually make a comment or advise... or argue, for that matter. Gomen ne! :bow:
judochick wrote:
yeah, a virgin in her late twenties is pretty bad LOL
i'm a girl, by the way, phlargo haha :mrgreen:
i know a chick who never wants to marry, and i think she'll stay a virgin forever :sweat:
some people wanna get married to people who are experienced, but others, who are virgins, want to marry virgins so that they start their sex lives together, which i think is pretty cute :woot:
I think if you bring in religion into the topic then the whole sex thing before marriage becomes an issue for many reasons. I as a Christian have certain beliefs on sex before marriage, but as a male i struggle with it. I cannot say i would be immune to the temptations of an attractive young female, especially one that i am very interested in. I would certainly hope she would have the discernment of her choices, the power she has being a woman. A woman in her late 20's that just happens to be abstinent and refrain from sex is based on her beliefs and/or due to her religious upbring, i can defintely respect that. But a woman that hasn't had the opportunity of having sex and she is in her late-20's because she inexperienced, i can respect that as well. I don't think there is anything to be shameful, in being a late-bloomer(late virgin). I think the in-experience man, and inexperience woman, that something of a rare, but possible scenario. I think the gift of purity is something that is overlooked. But i think those people that have been experience can always start anew, and come clean with their emotional baggage that comes with previous hurtful sexual relationships. I think if you really want to talk deep, one who has sex with another, ideally in a monagmous intimate healthy relationship, you are in esscense giving a part of yourself to this other person, by surrendering part of yourself by being physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually to some degree with this person you invested with.
Do you find yourself wondering why most of your buddies have steady dates, yet you can barely secure a first date, let alone a second (and, playing a regular game of Mahjong and Canasta with your grandparents and their friends doesn't count)? Guys, if so, it's time to ask yourself a few Foxy questions...
Do you... have a problem with eye contact? Even if you love everything about this other person, it won't matter, if you can't take your eyes off their body parts. They'll likely think you're out for one thing, or that you're just kind of creepy. Sure, they might be wearing something revealing, but that's no excuse to stare all night long. Get a grip and get comfortable with eye contact, which creates a much better bond.
Do you... eat like a caveman? Utensils are there for a reason -- so you can eat like a gentleman. Shoveling food into your mouth is not something you should subject your date to. Same goes for talking while chewing. Not only is it unpleasant to watch at a time when your job is to be easy on the eyes, it's a red flag that says you're a little short on self-awareness -- an important characteristic in a mate.
Do you... trim your toenails? Not that your date will necessarily see your toenails right away, but when they do end up eyeballing them, unkept toenails are a guaranteed huge turnoff. It means you don't take care of yourself, and valuing yourself is an important part of a healthy relationship. Plus, let's not forget the damage they can do to the other person's leg when you're snuggling up on the sofa watching movies.
Do you... order "everything on the side" at a restaurant? In other words, do you order like a girl? Please don't. Because if your date has to be tortured by, "I'll have the Cobb salad, but no cheese, avocado, or bacon, and dressing on the side, and the pasta, but no oil please, and extra light on the pinenuts," they may be forced to hide under the table or at least wonder what kind of demanding partner you could be. If you have dietary restrictions, do your best, just don't get into what will happen to your belly if you don't follow them.
Do you... assume you're going to strike out? The Secret said it once but we'll say it again: In a lot of ways, you manifest your own destiny. So, if you have lots of thoughts about being unlucky in love, you may be pushing people away in ways you may not even know. If you assume the worst of the world and yourself, spend a few minutes before your date making a mental list of why you're looking for a relationship and why you are an incredible a catch.
qilver wrote:I think if you bring in religion into the topic then the whole sex thing before marriage becomes an issue for many reasons. I as a Christian have certain beliefs on sex before marriage, but as a male i struggle with it. I cannot say i would be immune to the temptations of an attractive young female, especially one that i am very interested in. I would certainly hope she would have the discernment of her choices, the power she has being a woman. A woman in her late 20's that just happens to be abstinent and refrain from sex is based on her beliefs and/or due to her religious upbring, i can defintely respect that. But a woman that hasn't had the opportunity of having sex and she is in her late-20's because she inexperienced, i can respect that as well. I don't think there is anything to be shameful, in being a late-bloomer(late virgin). I think the in-experience man, and inexperience woman, that something of a rare, but possible scenario. I think the gift of purity is something that is overlooked. But i think those people that have been experience can always start anew, and come clean with their emotional baggage that comes with previous hurtful sexual relationships. I think if you really want to talk deep, one who has sex with another, ideally in a monagmous intimate healthy relationship, you are in esscense giving a part of yourself to this other person, by surrendering part of yourself by being physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually to some degree with this person you invested with.
woah qilver, that was some great info!!! thanks!!! :victory:
i agree with you that the gift of purity is overlooked these days.
a while ago, it was almost shameful NOT to be a virgin, but now, it's shameful to be a virgin.
oh...how the times have changed :sweat:
bmwracer wrote: Do you... eat like a caveman? Utensils are there for a reason -- so you can eat like a gentleman. Shoveling food into your mouth is not something you should subject your date to. Same goes for talking while chewing. Not only is it unpleasant to watch at a time when your job is to be easy on the eyes, it's a red flag that says you're a little short on self-awareness -- an important characteristic in a mate.
Now I know why am single again :mrgreen: . I eat like a caveman (or cavewoman). My parents tried and failed. I am polite but eat like a pig.
I'm single because I'm too weird. Well, I seem normal at first, then all the weirdness comes out when I get to know people. :sweat:
phlargo wrote:
Boo! You and cori! Man up, chicka - you're fun and interesting. And put it this way - you guys have had 10x more dates than I have :)
10x more dates than you have? You're joking, right? You're an intelligent, nice, and good-looking guy, so this just confuses me.
Wynter wrote:
Yes. :beaten:
Well, I meant "boring".
You don't seem boring at all! I, on the other hand, am quite boring if you meet me irl since I'm not really a talker in social situations. I'm one of those quiet types unless someone talkative talks to me.