First hand experience...
Well, what can I say, we met accidentally, thanks to a friend of mine. We met a few more times and after a short while it just sparked. Either that or it was just because she was stuck here in Austria (basically a backwater republic and the ass end of the modern world lol) to improve her German skills (and a bit Russian) and felt somewhat alone. Whatever it really was in the end, I can't say I really care.
That was nearly two years ago.
For once, many people here seem to think that all Asians are somewhat from the same country, so, if you're Asian you're either Chinese or from Thailand, and Naoko has been called Chinese and Thai I think countless of times. And well, that didn't really make her feel comfortable. She's Japanese after all, and, as much as this might piss off some people, she's proud of it.
People around here have also always given us funny looks (I'm 6'8" and she's 5'3"), but not only because of the height difference. It came even down to my brother once saying something along the line that I don't manage to get a good Austrian girl and have to date some Asian chick. I never really liked him, and that basically did it from my side (he wrapped his car around a tree while I was in Tokyo in 2004, I haven't visited his grave yet, nor will I ever). But he wasn't the only one to say things like that, every now and then we could hear it in the subway and in other places too (such people are everywhere). Idiots never die out.
My parents actually accepted her without any big problems. Especially my mother who always said that she didn't care who I would be with, as long as I would be happy with it.
As for her family, well... Let me put it this way, the only advantage I have in her father's eyes is, that I'm not American. Everything else is scratching on the edge of being unacceptable. But that's her father. And well, he doesn't really like me and I don't really like him, the feeling is mutual. He doesn't get why from all people on earth it has to be a gaijin, and I don't get why he would cheat on a woman like his wife (it's an open secret, everyone seems to know it, but nobody says anything; for example, when Naoko was 17, he had some 23 or 24 year old OL as, well, you know as what), but oh well.
Her mother on the other hand, well, we get along really good. And I admit, I absolutely love this woman. She's great, going to see kabuki with her is like taking an encyclopedia with you. She has also been telling me hundreds of things that are on her mind, which she can't talk about with her husband. She's not complaining or anything, but 'm certain to feel a certain sadness coming from her when we have time talking about anything.
Her little sister's nearly the same, but well, she's 17 and as she put it, she doesn't really care who her sister dates, as long as he's not a fully scale jerk (*phew* that's a close one lol).
I have to say that I found the acceptance in Japan being better than in Austria. If I take, for example, her friends (her three best friends I've met at Halloween 2003, insane bunch of four really cute young women), they didn't seem to have a problem with me. When one of them married in December she asked us repeatedly if I would be there as well before flying over there.
I think, the smallest problems I have over there are with my generation and the generations after that. Older people, well... it depends, really. Also I think that most people decide to be friendly or polite to me because they're scared/impressed/whatever (up to a certain point of course) of my height (though, I've experienced this in Austria too).
As I said, with older people, it really depends. I've met the other extreme (compared to Naoko's father) as well. Yuki, who's by now also not only Naoko's but also my best friend, somehow managed to introduce me to her parents and her father was completely different to Naoko's. A lot more open and friendly and not the slightest reserved towards me. But maybe this comes partly from family history and social status (Naoko's family is rather old and, if the family history's right, then they used to be samurai once; Yuki's on the other hand is a lot like mine, workers, farmers, peasents, etc; "workers of the world unite"? Maybe lol).
There are other examples, like Naoko's cousin, who's married and has a, by now, 5 year old daughter (who absolutely loves me... geez, I wonder why, possibly because she doesn't get piggy back rides where she's THAT high above the ground when I'm not around, or because the theory about stuffed penguins is right... anyway). And then there's this classmate of Naoko's sister who thinks I'm cute... oi... But that one is a different story.
Summoning it up I think that so far my experiences with the Japanese are better than my experiences with Austrian or Dutch. Actually I'm 100% sure about that. Sure, Naoko and I got funny looks every now and then there as well, but well... first of it doesn't surprise me if you take our height difference, and secondly especially old people who experienced the war and the time after it (and are xenophobic) shut up quickly once they realize I'm Austrian (and thus the former ally) or when I'm in dress uniform. Please note that not all old people there are xenophobic, I've met those too.
I think the biggest problem is sometimes that it is a completely different culture. The good thing of being a gaijin though is, that you're supposed to slip every now and then, which can have its advantages though. Since I'm not Japanese I can go a bit farther in certain areas, because I can usually say "Oh, I didn't know that, sorry".
I'll be in Japan in the end if July and August again (Yuki's getting married, the second one of those four to get hitched). This time Naoko's not coming back with me. Her sabatical is running out and well, I rather have her finish her time on her university in Tokyo than here, simply because, well... I believe that's where her future lies and I don't want to ruin that. But well, that was clear from the beginning, we both knew that we'd only have limited time. And honestly, I don't regret anything.
And this time I'm most likely going to butt heads with her father over the issue of cheating on his wife. I've remained silent for too long, it just pisses me off.