Jokes/Humor Thread

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Anime Dad wrote::rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

It's the only clean joke I know. :angeldevil:

@wynter : very hillarious :rofl: :rofl: and btw thanks for posting durian pic, btw have you tried it??

On topic :
I have some kind of mind manipulating joke trick, Its very funny so I'll try it in this thread, (I don't really if its gonna work..)
First you follow the rule, and please don't stop at the middle of this test
Then you need to be fully concrentrated, please remove any background song(pause or stop listenig to music) that will interfence the test..


Here we go..

Say to your self the word COW ten times...
COW.. COW.. COW.. COW.. COW.. COW.. COW.. COW.. COW.. COW..

Answer this question spontaneusly and by saying it out-loud too..

1. What is the color of the cloud?

2. What is the color of plain paper?

3. What is the color of vanilla ice-cream??

4. What do COW DRINK??

Spoiler — click to reveal

what is your answer for number 4?? If this is work well you should be manipulated and answered milk.. instead of plain water :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Wynter wrote:

[image]

:shocked:

@ eve : despite the looks and scent, it tastes really good.. yummy.. :victory: :victory:

Anime Dad wrote:That joke is probably funny, but I don't know what a durian is..... :bonk:

It's the King of Fruit! :dancing:

"Hell to Smell, Neat to Eat."

krim wrote:

It's the King of Fruit! :dancing:

"Hell to Smell, Neat to Eat."

I've never eaten it before. What does it smell like?

Jaegal_Maut wrote:@ eve : despite the looks and scent, it tastes really good.. yummy.. :victory: :victory:

If you say so........... :shakehead:

:hehe:

Wynter wrote:

I've never eaten it before. What does it smell like?

hmm.. letme put it this way, fearfactor once use this fruit as one of their stunt, but the tastes is so good, sweet and sour together and also there some alcohol in it.. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

You know there's a saying: "Don't judge a fruit by it looks.." :hehe: :hehe:

A man suffering from brain cancer have a chat with his doctor about his remaining life span..

Man : "doc, how long do I have..?"
Doc : *looking at his clock and say,"About 10..--"
Man : "So its 10 years from now huh doc?"
Doc : " :shakehead: its 9.. "
Man : "Soo, its Nine years!!"
Doc : " :shakehead: ..8.."
Man : "Make up your mind doc!! How long do I have!!?"
Doc : " 7.. 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.."

Jaegal_Maut wrote:
hmm.. letme put it this way, fearfactor once use this fruit as one of their stunt, but the tastes is so good, sweet and sour together and also there some alcohol in it.. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

You know there's a saying: "Don't judge a fruit by it looks.." :hehe: :hehe:

It looks scary alright! :D

Jaegal_Maut wrote:
Royal Guard: "Oranges your excellency.."
King : "Then for punishment, stuck all of the oranges that he has through his butt.."
Illegal fruit seller #1 : "Noooooo.... argh.. argh.. argghh.."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
so that's how "pain in the butt" comes from :hehe:

Mick attended a party this past weekend.

After checking out all the well-dressed guests at the party, he spotted an attractive woman (standing alone) across the room. When he approached and asked her name, She coyly replied... "Carmen"

Trying to maintain some sort of conversation with her, he responded with "That's a beautiful name, Is it a family name?"

"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself, because it reflects the things I like most in the world — cars and men."

Then she asked, "What's your name?"

"Golftits," he replied.

kenjilina wrote:Mick attended a party this past weekend.

After checking out all the well-dressed guests at the party, he spotted an attractive woman (standing alone) across the room. When he approached and asked her name, She coyly replied... "Carmen"

Trying to maintain some sort of conversation with her, he responded with "That's a beautiful name, Is it a family name?"

"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself, because it reflects the things I like most in the world \ cars and men."

Then she asked, "What's your name?"

"Golftits," he replied.

:rofl: So lame, so great!

kenjilina wrote:
Mick attended a party this past weekend.

After checking out all the well-dressed guests at the party, he spotted an attractive woman (standing alone) across the room. When he approached and asked her name, She coyly replied... "Carmen"

Trying to maintain some sort of conversation with her, he responded with "That's a beautiful name, Is it a family name?"

"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself, because it reflects the things I like most in the world \ cars and men."

Then she asked, "What's your name?"

"Golftits," he replied.

:rofl: :rofl: Make me remember that Gaylord dude from the movie meet the parents or something..

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner
with her parents. Since this is such
a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the
First time

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the
pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy,
a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it
being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on
in!" where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and
whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

kenjilina wrote:
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner
with her parents. Since this is such
a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the
First time

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the
pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy,
a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it
being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on
in!" where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and
whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

:rofl: :rofl: :thumbsup:

kenjilina wrote:A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and
whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

LOL! That was grand.

Wynter wrote:

LOL! That was grand.

i aim to please. :mrgreen:

kenjilina wrote:

i aim to please. :mrgreen:

Never say that to a woman in heat. :mrgreen: :naughty: