Love/Relationship/Potential Relationship Advice

bmwracer wrote:
Yow, someone had a bad day at work....

Wait, you had this week off...? :headscratch:

Nah, just someone I met. I don't pick them very good.

kitakaze wrote:I hate women sometimes. :shamefulcry: :confused: :drink:

Ehh? Pretty strong words there. I don't always understand them, sometimes I'm frustrated by them, but HATE them? No way! How can you hate God's finest creation? They're nice, and soft, and round in all the right places!!(some are softer and rounder than others :naughty: ) Think you better step back and take a deep breath. [/list:u]

kitakaze wrote:

Nah, just someone I met. I don't pick them very good.

Look, I'm sorry I barfed in your car, but you were driving like a mad man! Jeez, get over it!
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:beaten:

gaijinmark wrote: Ehh? Pretty strong words there. I don't always understand them, sometimes I'm frustrated by them, but HATE them? No way! How can you hate God's finest creation? They're nice, and soft, and round in all the right places!!(some are softer and rounder than others :naughty: ) Think you better step back and take a deep breath. [/list:u]

I have strong opinions sometimes.

Wynter wrote:Look, I'm sorry I barfed in your car, but you were driving like a mad man! Jeez, get over it!

:hehe: You weren't secretly riding in the back seat were you?

kitakaze wrote:

:hehe: You weren't secretly riding in the back seat were you?

LOL! Wow... that sentence is made for a dirty joke. :beaten:

So what happened that made you hate women?

Wynter wrote:

LOL! Wow... that sentence is made for a dirty joke. :beaten:

So what happened that made you hate women?

Oh nothing. I think it's more of my decade or so list of failures with women that's starting to get to me. I met someone who liked me based on appearance, but didn't like the way I carried myself or my personality once she got to know me...and some other thigns I don't want to talk about. Definitely not the first time I've been thrown back on the shelf like someone's at the supermarket.

kitakaze wrote:

Oh nothing. I think it's more of my decade or so list of failures with women that's starting to get to me. I met someone who liked me based on appearance, but didn't like the way I carried myself or my personality once she got to know me...and some other thigns I don't want to talk about. Definitely not the first time I've been thrown back on the shelf like someone's at the supermarket.

Yikes. I hate girls, too. They can be so shallow sometimes. If it makes you feel better, I rarely look at appearances first. I've learned from my mistakes.

Wynter wrote:

Yikes. I hate girls, too. They can be so shallow sometimes. If it makes you feel better, I rarely look at appearances first. I've learned from my mistakes.

Haha, that might be an accidental comment on my situation. But I think that's cool that you don't do that anymore.

I think I scare women sometimes. People think it's just a woman thing, but I get attached easily. I do anything for my friends or girlfriends because I consider them family. I think being easy going and non-argumentative throws them off initially.

Plus...I don't have "game." I've never been good at sweeping women off their feet or talking them into my arms. One woman that got put off by me, but I stayed friends with, commented later that she regretted not staying with me after getting to know me more as a friend. Now she's trying to fix her marriage....

kitakaze wrote:

Haha, that might be an accidental comment on my situation. But I think that's cool that you don't do that anymore.

I think I scare women sometimes. People think it's just a woman thing, but I get attached easily. I do anything for my friends or girlfriends because I consider them family. I think being easy going and non-argumentative throws them off initially.

Plus...I don't have "game." I've never been good at sweeping women off their feet or talking them into my arms. One woman that got put off by me, but I stayed friends with, commented later that she regretted not staying with me after getting to know me more as a friend. Now she's trying to fix her marriage....

I don't have any "game" either. Actually, I usually get really nervous when guys get TOO serious about me. I wonder why girls get weirded out when you get "attached". Don't girls like that?

I guess I should know the answer to that one...

kitakaze wrote:

Oh nothing. I think it's more of my decade or so list of failures with women that's starting to get to me. I met someone who liked me based on appearance, but didn't like the way I carried myself or my personality once she got to know me...and some other thigns I don't want to talk about. Definitely not the first time I've been thrown back on the shelf like someone's at the supermarket.

What didn't she like about you? Judging by your posts here, you seem like a really nice and sincere guy. Or maybe she thought you were too nice? :confused:

And I also tend to get attached too easily. It's probably because I don't get much attention from guys, so tend to get obsessed with anyone decent who gives me the slightest bit of attention. Of course, I act normal in front of them and don't show them that side of me. :mrgreen: :sweat:

People who have "game" are just players. I prefer someone sincere, as I'm (usually) the same way. Maybe that's why it's so hard to meet people--everyone has an agenda or is just "shopping around" to find the merchandise that suits them. For me, I think it's better to go out with someone as a friend first, then if it escalates into something more, that's great. If not, you made a new friend.

cori wrote:Judging by your posts here, you seem like a really nice and sincere guy.

SUCKER....!!!!! :hehe: :hehe: :hehe:

Wynter wrote:

I don't have any "game" either. Actually, I usually get really nervous when guys get TOO serious about me. I wonder why girls get weirded out when you get "attached". Don't girls like that?

I guess I should know the answer to that one...

i think there could be numerous reasons why a girl will back away if the guy comes on too strongly. Walls, we all have them, but some more than others, and i do think that girls tend to have more, to protect themselves from further hurt, damage cause by f*cking idiot guys that did NOT know how to treat a woman to begin with. Girls typically are the ones to get emotionally, physically attached moreso than guys do. I guess i have been looking in the wrong areas as they seem to repel off of me...HAHAHA :nut: :doh:

qilver wrote:

girls tend to have more, to protect themselves from further hurt, damage cause by f*cking idiot guys that did NOT know how to treat a woman to begin with.

There was some good advice on an episode of Star Trek Voyager. One of the characters in the holodeck said something like, "Treat a lady like a tramp and a tramp like a lady." It works every time. :hehe:

Wynter wrote:

I don't have any "game" either. Actually, I usually get really nervous when guys get TOO serious about me. I wonder why girls get weirded out when you get "attached". Don't girls like that?

I guess I should know the answer to that one...

That seems to be a common theme. I met this girl at a bar...she seemed normal. Of course, the bar part probably should've been a danger sign.... I mean, I only knew her for about two weeks. It's not like I was really serious or anything...I think it was just me that she didn't like. Of course, it was all about her too. "I don't think you're right for me." :bleh:

cori wrote:Or maybe she thought you were too nice?

That's something else. That's what the girl previous to this one said. I was too nice. It made her uncomfortable. I guess some women like being treated like crap :beaten: . Truthfully...I don't know why women don't seem to like me. I assume I have some blame in it since I have to pick them too.

qilver wrote:Walls, we all have them, but some more than others, and i do think that girls tend to have more, to protect themselves from further hurt, damage cause by f*cking idiot guys that did NOT know how to treat a woman to begin with.

That's true...but I believe only one girl I tried going out with was emotionally and physically abused by a previous partner. She was probably the best breakup I had too. She didn't make it about herself. She said it wasn't fair to me that she had so much baggage. That kind of girl is rare.

kitakaze wrote:

That's true...but I believe only one girl I tried going out with was emotionally and physically abused by a previous partner. She was probably the best breakup I had too. She didn't make it about herself. She said it wasn't fair to me that she had so much baggage. That kind of girl is rare.

the saying, Nice guys finish last.....well, i strongly beg to differ on that. As i do believe that there are some girls out there that will either throw shit back in guys faces for treating them or attempting to treat them like princesses OR there will be some women out there that will take advantage of the guy, and milking him for what they can get, and then run. In all fairness there are guys that take advantage of women, manipulate them as well, and run, breaking hearts OR just shutting them down rejecting them. I think it is crucial to keep how you are and let NO WOMAN change how you are. Personally, if the girl i am with, if she cannot handle my nice gestures, honestly, then i am better without her. I would rather be with a girl that will appreciate and honor my kindness as she is to me. Of course this all takes time and trust, but you will get an idea early upfront what someones intial intentions. Unspoken words, non-verbal gestures, you can easily pick up, even how they are un-responsive they are via text, phone call, etc...

For me, I think being nice is what i am use to, and i learned not to be taken advantaged of, and i know when to set my limit. I had to learn the hard way and through tough relationship experiences i learned how to respect women, and myself and still remain a nice guy. I think we guys can be NICE to women, but respect them as well as ourselves. Even if it means to walk away with dignity and respect knowing that we tried, and if they still couldn't deal with it, that is just how it goes.

For two people, there has to be atleast some connection, some commonality, some interest to keep it progressing, which hopefully will evolve into a healthy or ideally healthy growing relationship. There are a lot of reasons why women, or men will back off, put up walls, push people away, i strongly think it has to do with personal hangups, big time insecurities, fear of rejections, etc...

I'd say that all we can all do is do our best, and be who we are, letting no one change how we are and how we respect, treat others. I do strongly believe in that saying, treat others as you would like to be treated. It is perhaps, that we are getting involved, pursuing the wrong types of girls. But what the hell do i know about relationships, i've spent the past year or so trying to figure out how to get back into one, after being in a long-drought. In theory i think i learned and know a lot on what relatioships involve and what a healthy growing relationship should be like. In reality i am f*cking clueless and need help. :mrgreen:

cori wrote:

show them that side of me. :mrgreen: :sweat:

People who have "game" are just players. I prefer someone sincere, as I'm (usually) the same way. Maybe that's why it's so hard to meet people--everyone has an agenda or is just "shopping around" to find the merchandise that suits them. For me, I think it's better to go out with someone as a friend first, then if it escalates into something more, that's great. If not, you made a new friend.

i would have to agree
most people who have game or think they have game always end up
being or becomming a player
and it most of the time backfire in their face

this just my two cents here
now otherwise
some women just look for too much out of man
somtimes its the woman and some times the guy
but if ur nice some women would stay
a little too nice and u might be push them a way

so take it on let them be them
as they say a first impression last a life time

^ (all posts above)

I take it 'as is'. I will play a girl when she's a dumb little tramp who doesn't know $%*@, but makes like she is trying to play me. Or, if the girl flocks to me and we agree that s*x with 'no strings attached' is what we want. --That is the only time that I 'play'.

After being through a marriage, I am slow to 'commit'. I will date several to MANY girls at the same time. I advise to ALL of them that the relationship is not 'official', however in the 'beginning/trial' stage. If a girl disregards what I tell them in the beginning and blames me for 'playing' them when I'm seeing someone else, then I consider it her fault rather than mine. Because I told her from the start that she is not the only girl I am seeing. If they're cool with that, then we continue. However if not, I cut them off right there.

I make this statement and expose myself (and others like me) only because people like us who see multiple women at the same time are considered by some as 'players', 'busters', 'player wannabes', 'assholes', and even 'losers', which is not necessarily true.

-It's like picking apples from a tree and choosing the best one (for you) during the process. Make sense?!

qilver wrote:

i think there could be numerous reasons why a girl will back away if the guy comes on too strongly. Walls, we all have them, but some more than others, and i do think that girls tend to have more, to protect themselves from further hurt, damage cause by f*cking idiot guys that did NOT know how to treat a woman to begin with. Girls typically are the ones to get emotionally, physically attached moreso than guys do. I guess i have been looking in the wrong areas as they seem to repel off of me...HAHAHA :nut: :doh:

Yea, but that's a completely different topic. We're talking about guys who get attached to girls who don't like it. I can understand girls putting up walls, but when you're past that stage and feel that the guy is worth it, then what? Why are girls then backing off if a guy is attached? Mebbe it's the need for space. Personally, I think it's the girl's own insecurities.

ahochaude wrote:^ (all posts above)

I take it 'as is'. I will play a girl when she's a dumb little tramp who doesn't know $%*@, but makes like she is trying to play me. Or, if the girl flocks to me and we agree that s*x with 'no strings attached' is what we want. --That is the only time that I 'play'.

After being through a marriage, I am slow to 'commit'. I will date several to MANY girls at the same time. I advise to ALL of them that the relationship is not 'official', however in the 'beginning/trial' stage. If a girl disregards what I tell them in the beginning and blames me for 'playing' them when I'm seeing someone else, then I consider it her fault rather than mine. Because I told her from the start that she is not the only girl I am seeing. If they're cool with that, then we continue. However if not, I cut them off right there.

I make this statement and expose myself (and others like me) only because people like us who see multiple women at the same time are considered by some as 'players', 'busters', 'player wannabes', 'assholes', and even 'losers', which is not necessarily true.

-It's like picking apples from a tree and choosing the best one (for you) during the process. Make sense?!

Yes, it does. Being upfront and honest is the key. If the girl (or guy) doesn't want to listen, and then accuses later, it's they're fault. If you weren't honest about your behaviour, that's a different story.

Personally, I would be the girl NOT cool with it, and therefore be cut off by you.

Wynter wrote:

Yes, it does. Being upfront and honest is the key. If the girl (or guy) doesn't want to listen, and then accuses later, it's they're fault. If you weren't honest about your behaviour, that's a different story.

Personally, I would be the girl NOT cool with it, and therefore be cut off by you.

Agreed. If a guy is being honest about his intentions and tells the girl upfront that he's seeing other girls, I don't consider that to be playing at all. If the girl falls for him, knowing that there are others in his life, then it's her problem, as she was warned. In a relationship like this, it's better to just have fun with the company and hopefully the girl is mature and smart enough not to get too attached.

I've been kind of been in that situation before and it's not fun. Even though I was warned beforehand, I grew a bit attached. If he didn't answer my call, I always wondered if he was with his other lady. Eventually, I dealt with it and emersed myself into other things, so I didn't care as much. Due to our schedules conflicting (amongst other things), the relationship dwindled down to us just being friends and nothing more, which is fine by me.

ahochaude wrote:
-It's like picking apples from a tree and choosing the best one (for you) during the process. Make sense?!

Well, yes and no. I guess it works for you, but I was never that popular with the girls :shamefulcry: