Japanese Girl/Boyfriends - Dating in Japan

hikki wrote:As for hoping to pick up a girlfriend during a one-month stay in Japan... it's not really fair to the girl... You're there... you show up and tell her that you want to see her... you try to bed her... and then you leave... Maybe you email her from time to time... and then lose touch. Kinda cold... Go to Japan to enjoy the country, not to try and bed women... Make friends, not bed buddies.

nice piece of advice. :applaud:

very true.

niko2x wrote:nice piece of advice. :applaud:

Agreed.

If you're going to Japan for a boinking expedition, that's the wrong reason to go.

Darn tootin! Imagine if someone did that to you...

I mean some of those J-girls are pretty good looking ansd stuff. But they are people, they do have feelings. I know I'd hate it if someone gave me, what would turn out to be, a load of pillow talk.

As with everything else in life, consider if you'll be hurting anyone first, BEFORE you do anything.

I mean, fair do's, if the person agrees that this is a one-time thing and it doesn't matter if you don't see each other again. But I've been in a situation like that. It isn't nice, when the other person just goes away and forgets about you.

bmwracer wrote:
If you're going to Japan for a boinking expedition, that's the wrong reason to go.

And a lot of money spent just to get there.

dochira wrote:And a lot of money spent just to get there.

...not to mention girlfriends are a LOT more expensive then just plain friends. hahahaha...

niko2x wrote:...not to mention girlfriends are a LOT more expensive then just plain friends. hahahaha...

Hehe, forgot about that.

niko2x wrote:...not to mention girlfriends are a LOT more expensive then just plain friends. hahahaha...

And wives are more than that, ne? :hehe:

bmwracer wrote:
And wives are more than that, ne? :hehe:

Yes, but worth it.

bmwracer wrote:
And wives are more than that, ne? :hehe:

yeah, i agree with dochira, so very worth it.
she would deserve the best, ne? that would be the day when all other j-girls were be put to rest.

From all the replies (the ones that seem referenced to my first post), I have to wonder why so many of those replies seem to imply (or explicitly say) that someone interested in dating during a month-long trip (that is a precursor to a possible year-long trip) is going on a "boinking expedition", when some of these same people had no issues giving advice to the original poster, who was going for a trip lasting 9 days. If they can assume he is acting in a decent enough manner to warrant real advice, why is my situation taken as so morally different? Don't quite see the logic there.

Sorry if you got the impression that those posts were referring to you. Somehow the term "nanpa" got thrown into the mix and things snowballed from there. :sweat: Gomen.

dochira wrote:Sorry if you got the impression that those posts were referring to you. Somehow the term "nanpa" got thrown into the mix and things snowballed from there. :sweat: Gomen.

Doch is right. We were talking hypotheticals (I know I was)... It wasn't directed at you...

Gomen.

Gomen... I was speaking from personal experience... didn't mean to tick you off.

Heh, have to agree with gambit, never said this was a bedding thing, I like japan and the girls are great too, I come because this is my home country. I'm wondering about the person that brought it up in the first place...I mean the bedding part didn't even occur to me. lol like I said, I'm SOOO INNOCENT! lol... Yes I have thought about the fact it will be only 1 month or whatever short time. Well, mostly I was thinking flirting friend type when I posted in the first post but the majority of the post was to start discussion (which it did). I have no friends in japan so if I were to make some why not girls.

As far as the girls doing things for you yes I am aware that is the culture...I was just mentioning to another poster you will notice these things...I was suprised when a j raised friend did things for me when she was in america, but I do know they do this for any guys (but still only if they want to). One time a friend told me about this couple in his university, the guy is american and the girl is j-raised japanese. She makes bento (lunchbox lunch) for his EVERYDAY and he is...(not very appreciative) of her or this gesture. Me and my friend gather together and start cussing that guy off on AIM HAHA.

Yea JJpsychic, you and I have a lot of similarities...except I was pretty ignorant about my being mixed. I was made more fun (I think) because I was shy and short...but I got really tall around senior HS year...and all of a sudden ppl who used to pick on me is like "wassup ken" in the hallway. At first I think they are playing a trick on me so I still kinda shy away and be careful. Now, I really like who I am ethnically (and as a whole). There is a lot of ppl who wish they were japanese or mixed in my friends (or they tell me that so I feel good, whatever it works hehe) and lots of self confidence made me more outgoing.

As far as gay men being attracted to you, I get that a lot...in the states. I also get younger white girls and older women (like 40...ugh). I think first of all when gay men is hitting on you its like they are the man and you are the woman, in society women tend not to ask guys out hence I get asked out in public very little by girls my age, so for a gay man it is normal to be the approacher... my hypothesis;) As far as younger white girls, I really don't know I guess they take it less seriously or something. The REALLY young kids in japan stare at me like there is no tomorro, probably they have not yet got to the "staring is rude" part. Maybe just coz I'm so tall (in japan).

-Ken

Gxcad wrote:
Yea JJpsychic, you and I have a lot of similarities...except I was pretty ignorant about my being mixed. I was made more fun (I think) because I was shy and short...but I got really tall around senior HS year...and all of a sudden ppl who used to pick on me is like "wassup ken" in the hallway. At first I think they are playing a trick on me so I still kinda shy away and be careful. Now, I really like who I am ethnically (and as a whole). There is a lot of ppl who wish they were japanese or mixed in my friends (or they tell me that so I feel good, whatever it works hehe) and lots of self confidence made me more outgoing.

-Ken

Wow, we have such similarities. I was shy and cautious and did not really want to talk with girls till middle of high school. Ever since I got jilted, it made me stronger and I changed myself to a better person. And yea, many of my friends wish they were mixed or have learned Japanese. Right now, I am in Washington DC interning for Talk Radio News (reporter, producer, editor). I'm glad that you have increased your confidence throughout your life. I totally understand you.

-John

Sort of related, is it possible to have much of a social life in Japan if you dont have a cellphone? (i'm assuming a cellphone from the US wouldnt exactly be set up with the right service to actually work over there)

-- Remy

gambit06 wrote:Sort of related, is it possible to have much of a social life in Japan if you dont have a cellphone? (i'm assuming a cellphone from the US wouldnt exactly be set up with the right service to actually work over there)

-- Remy

Nope, cellphones (or mobile phones... whatever) from most other countries, will not work in Japan. They use a different system for cellphones (I've been told).

As far as I am aware, they are on the 5th generation (5g) of phones now. If that means anything to ya. Like, us brits have just started on our 3rd generation of phones (if that puts some perspective on it).

gambit06 wrote:Sort of related, is it possible to have much of a social life in Japan if you dont have a cellphone? (i'm assuming a cellphone from the US wouldnt exactly be set up with the right service to actually work over there)

-- Remy

in any case, if you REALLY want a cell phone there (if you are there for a short duration) you can always rent a phone.

Just a sort of wandering question... I sent emails to a large number of ppl (mostly girls of course :sweat: ), and haven't heard anything back (with one exception) for about a week. (i know about a dozen or more were read already, due to automated read receipt thingies) This is what I had originally sent.

"Hi,

My name is Remy, and I am an American university student and I am planning a trip to Japan for next year, so I wanted to make some friends over there beforehand. I am especially looking for friends to hang out with while I am visiting the country. My interests include martial arts, writing stories, reading books, art, manga, movies, and music.

I saw your profile, and thought I would say hi and see if you would be interested in talking. I don't speak any Japanese, but would like to learn.

Hope to hear back from you soon."

For the girls who specifically had comments or something speaking about looking for guys, I sometimes added this part "I am especially looking for friends to hang out with while I am visiting the country, or maybe even dating if the person was right."

Not sure if the lack of replies was was due to what i wrote, simple lack of interest, or ppl just being really slow. Any comments guys? Is this written badly? Coming across wrong? Or should I just be more patient?

- Remy

gambit06 wrote:Just a sort of wandering question... I sent emails to a large number of ppl (mostly girls of course :sweat: ), and haven't heard anything back (with one exception) for about a week. (i know about a dozen or more were read already, due to automated read receipt thingies) This is what I had originally sent.

"Hi,

My name is Remy, and I am an American university student and I am planning a trip to Japan for next year, so I wanted to make some friends over there beforehand. I am especially looking for friends to hang out with while I am visiting the country. My interests include martial arts, writing stories, reading books, art, manga, movies, and music.

I saw your profile, and thought I would say hi and see if you would be interested in talking. I don't speak any Japanese, but would like to learn.

Hope to hear back from you soon."

For the girls who specifically had comments or something speaking about looking for guys, I sometimes added this part "I am especially looking for friends to hang out with while I am visiting the country, or maybe even dating if the person was right."

Not sure if the lack of replies was was due to what i wrote, simple lack of interest, or ppl just being really slow. Any comments guys? Is this written badly? Coming across wrong? Or should I just be more patient?

- Remy

i think your intentions are good. You are planning ahead in that you want to meet some nice j-girls before hand and so when you do arrive, you will know some j-girls that can show you around and have some contacts. Maybe it is where you are emailing to, how are you emailing them? Maybe change your profile, a little, overall there is little changes i see you need to take, but give them more time, and don't give up, keep trying. Perhaps some or most of them are busy. I don't think it is written bad, it is presentable and upfront. You are honest with them, try some other pen pal services and email some more j-people/girls. Good luck.