Love/Relationship/Potential Relationship Advice

Why would they think you're a gold digger, when you already have the gold? :beaten:

bmwracer wrote:Why would they think you're a gold digger, when you already have the gold? :beaten:

They didn't think I was. They asked what kinda guys I like and I said I wasn't picky. The gold-digger reference came out in the conversation.

@A-Oyaji: Yup, and don't forget, it works both ways. Guys aren't the only ones with the pressure.

Wynter wrote:
@A-Oyaji: Yup, and don't forget, it works both ways. Guys aren't the only ones with the pressure.

I'm sure guys don't think that way, but I suppose you're right. I was always too chicken to ask out girls that I was attracted to :) Luckily Mrs A.D. and I were best friends before we got together (although I was attracted to her also :) )

Anime Dad wrote:

I'm sure guys don't think that way, but I suppose you're right. I was always too chicken to ask out girls that I was attracted to :) Luckily Mrs A.D. and I were best friends before we got together (although I was attracted to her also :) )

Awwwww! I love it when best friends get together! Ya know, you don't seem like the shy kind online.

Wynter wrote:
Awwwww! I love it when best friends get together! Ya know, you don't seem like the shy kind online.

You have no idea! I'm not so bad now, of course. You've seen Kimi wa Petto, right? I REALLY identify with Sumire-chan in that I feel awkward in a lot of situations.... only i'm not as smart or attractive as her ;)

ahochaude wrote:

Let me take a stab at this........


Guys like that get no play (as you've just demonstrated).
Smothering a woman with gifts is NOT the way to go.
Girls like 'sensitivity' from a guy, however to only a certain degree. Guys who are too 'soft' often end up either scaring the woman away, or make the woman lose interest in them.

Finally, asking a woman where she wants to go is fine, from time to time (seldomly is what I would recommend). "Having a game plan" is what women like. (Can't be a lame one either)

Don't get me wrong now. Women LOVE to be wined and dined. Also not to mention, charm, is a must in the 'game'. Women need that. On the other hand, a guy who is a total wuss from the get go gets nothing.

Am I wrong, Wynter?

yea...agree with you there.....women love being wined and dined, and getting flowers....charm's gotta be there.
i sorta planned out the last date i was on, and gave her a few flowers, nothing big...just simple. even made some reservations at an italian restarant....hell atleast i tried. One thing i cannot control is the outcome, but one thing i can do is my approach, and to let her know i was interested in getting to know her more/dating, yet not too much to scare her off..., but with intentions of dating, not really as friends.

yea, the gifts are for the girlfriend, but not the girl i am pursuing in the early stages. this whole dating/romance thing, has to do with risks, and risks that i am willing to take, just don't want to make a career out of just dating, ultimately, it is a long-term relationship-marriage that i am seeking.
I think guys fear rejection, and yeah...i admit that, and who likes rejection, it sucks....but i think recently, i've been just taking more risks, and well....facing it, but as Aho's says, gotta have some game plan. And not to dive in, just go with the flow, and date/meet new girls, something is bound to click, and happen. It's just that, once you reach the professional/working environment, it is harder to meet people, thus....dating websites, church groups, etc......whatever the method.

Eve wrote:

Well Aho,
From my point of view youre totally right on! :thumbsup:

I am so tired of men who always want me to think up something to do so they can say, "No, not that, think of something else."
A guy with a good game plan is awesome. Sincere charm is always great! That's how my current BF persuaded me to go out with him. :hehe: (And his good looks ;) )
And continues to do so.... :hehe: :hehe:
Wusses are out! :bleh:

But I do love presents ;)
If presented without baggage.
Can everyone tell Im not doing this for the first time around :headscratch: Or Aho either! ;)

well..yeah, a good game plan is the best approach, and being yourself while going out on a date is best, but it is dealing with those awkward silences that make it uneasy and put you off.....even when trying to be upbeat and have a good time. I really dislike making the girl feel uneasy, and good conversation and having it flow makes it a much better date. Of course if the chemistry isn't really there and she feels uneasy, then i'd say it is about over.
being a good listener, and having some balance in the conversation helps...i try atleast, but if she is the quiet type, it might make it more challenging. having a good time, feeling somewhat relaxed during a date, and trying to enjoy the process, time out meeting someone new is just having a good time, that makes a good date, i think.
But the second date, etc....(i haven't really gone out lately and reached 3rd dates yet...), but that it gets more deeper in conversation, you met them the first time, and now...what i guess it really depends.
what i am curious is, what causes people to retain interest, and increase the curiousity, and desire to continue dating? what causes them to lose the interest? i suppose that is such a vague question to begin with....:headscratch:

qilver wrote:

well..yeah, a good game plan is the best approach, and being yourself while going out on a date is best, but it is dealing with those awkward silences that make it uneasy and put you off.....even when trying to be upbeat and have a good time. I really dislike making the girl feel uneasy, and good conversation and having it flow makes it a much better date. Of course if the chemistry isn't really there and she feels uneasy, then i'd say it is about over.
being a good listener, and having some balance in the conversation helps...i try atleast, but if she is the quiet type, it might make it more challenging. having a good time, feeling somewhat relaxed during a date, and trying to enjoy the process, time out meeting someone new is just having a good time, that makes a good date, i think.
But the second date, etc....(i haven't really gone out lately and reached 3rd dates yet...), but that it gets more deeper in conversation, you met them the first time, and now...what i guess it really depends.
what i am curious is, what causes people to retain interest, and increase the curiousity, and desire to continue dating? what causes them to lose the interest? i suppose that is such a vague question to begin with....:headscratch:

If a girl is quiet, it doesn't necessarily mean there is no chemistry. But I suppose it depends on how u define chemistry.... how would u?

Keeping interest, or losing interest...if you just don't click, then there's no interest, and game over. I don't think you can really answer this question. People click, even if they have no similar interests.

The desire should be something natural. I don't think u can define this. It's either yes, or no. You should already know the answer.

I suppose I'm not the right person to be answering....but I'm actually interested in this thread!! :hehe:

:victory:

uhno wrote:

If a girl is quiet, it doesn't necessarily mean there is no chemistry. But I suppose it depends on how u define chemistry.... how would u?

Keeping interest, or losing interest...if you just don't click, then there's no interest, and game over. I don't think you can really answer this question. People click, even if they have no similar interests.

The desire should be something natural. I don't think u can define this. It's either yes, or no. You should already know the answer.

I suppose I'm not the right person to be answering....but I'm actually interested in this thread!! :hehe:

:victory:

well, thanks for your input, atleast someone cared to answer, thanks.


anyways...

yeah chemistry is hard to define, and feeling like it is going right, and we click would probably be determined by comfort level, and conversation, and attitude, not taking into consideration, if she is having a bad day, lots on her mind of other stressful events, etc....that is a strong possibility. I can't really make the fair accessment on this, but it is just what i felt at the time.

she seemed quiet at times, but yet the conversation overall flowed ok....
she's a nice girl, and hard to read...figure out, but i'd say that there is some interest remaining on my part.....just have to see what happens from here....if not, i am ready to move onward.
again, thanks for providing your comments, input, much appreciated, as this thread seems so quiet and distant, i guess there is not much input from others.

qilver wrote:

well, thanks for your input, atleast someone cared to answer, thanks.

Bitter, much? :beaten:

Wynter wrote:

Bitter, much? :beaten:

towards, all others?, i wouldn't say that...more frustrated, but again, to each his or her own...

guess i wouldn't mind more feedback, but that is unrealistic, and unfair.

anyhow, just thought i drop in my 1 1/2 cents on this topic and dredge up an ole' thread on dating.....
feel free to add your own experiences, just thought i drop mine in on the thread.

qilver wrote:
what i am curious is, what causes people to retain interest, and increase the curiousity, and desire to continue dating? what causes them to lose the interest? i suppose that is such a vague question to begin with....:headscratch:

Similar interests are frequently the connection. Some people are always interested/curious about different things. But most are not Ive found. So you need to focus on their interests. Asking lots of relevant questions about their favorite topics works usually...hopefully they arent boring :hehe:
What causes a loss of interest....... could be lack of attraction and not wanting to give the wrong impression.
I find I get bored if people are too serious or take themselves too seriously. But that is just me perhaps.

Eve wrote:

Similar interests are frequently the connection. Some people are always interested/curious about different things. But most are not Ive found. So you need to focus on their interests. Asking lots of relevant questions about their favorite topics works usually...hopefully they arent boring :hehe:
What causes a loss of interest....... could be lack of attraction and not wanting to give the wrong impression.
I find I get bored if people are too serious or take themselves too seriously. But that is just me perhaps.

i agree...
and i think that just being yourself, relaxed and with an open mind always helps. Sometimes i need to be more aware of that, and just have a good time, and have fun, while dating, meeting someone new. Being a good conversationist always helps. It is skill that i am constantly trying to improve on, and open to learning more about others. I think listening skills is one area that i am constantly working on, and improving.

The girl that is a teacher that i went out with, we still keep in contact, but not to frequently. So, we'll just have to wait and see, but i am not sure if the interest level is high enough for the both of us. :headscratch: anyhow, since we are not at all at a serious level or anything close, i am also open to meeting other girls.

im guessing it was all the bling they were wearing, and the gold teeth blinding those poor japanese girls. couldn't even tell who they were talking to.

Japanese girls are cute! SUPER friendly.... :hehe: Everyone should have a Japanese friend that is a girl...haha...didnt want to get myself into trouble there. :mrgreen:

Gomen, b-san. Maybe you should move the last two posts. I couldn't let that post go unanswered. :grumble:

Anime Dad wrote:Gomen, b-san. Maybe you should move the last two posts. I couldn't let that post go unanswered. :grumble:

I felt the same way. :grumble:

Moving the posts to the 'Jap' ( :grumble: ) thread now.

I hope you don't mind b-kun but I just put my opinions on this topic in the "Got Something you Want to Say' thread. I did put the link to the "Why the "Jap" word is Offensive" thread in my post.

Back on topic: Now how is everyone's dating life these days? :mrgreen:

Enna wrote:I hope you don't mind b-kun but I just put my opinions on this topic in the "Got Something you Want to Say' thread. I did put the link to the "Why the "Jap" word is Offensive" thread in my post.

Back on topic: Now how is everyone's dating life these days? :mrgreen:

thanks for asking.....sorta uneventful, but that is ok. just going with the flow with everything...

how is everyone else doing?

Enna wrote:I hope you don't mind b-kun but I just put my opinions on this topic in the "Got Something you Want to Say' thread. I did put the link to the "Why the "Jap" word is Offensive" thread in my post.

Yup, I saw your well-informed and sane post... Always the cooler head you are. :hug: