Love/Relationship/Potential Relationship Advice

tabana wrote:I'm halfway to the airport. :P

Hurry!

If that wife thinks her husband isn't get busy on the side....she must be crazy.

Tu_triky wrote:

Cost more than the darn noodles, I'd fathom to guess....anyway.....this is the relationship thread

I read this over @ gaijinpot

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Why gaijin husbands fell for ANY ___ girls???

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Ok. My husband is not that great looking white dude. Somehow everywhere he goes, Japanese girls give him their phone numbers and email addresses even though they know he is MARRIED!!! Why do they do that? Of course, it is partially my husband's fault too because he just accepts their notes. He kept saying, "They just wants to be friends with me! You should trust me!"

Should I??? Seriously, I don't trust what Japanese girls think. One of the girls whom he received the phone number from, said to me, "Everyone has affairs these days. I want to have a gaijin lover. So what's wrong with that?" I just could not believe what she said. I told my husband about it, but he won't believe me.

What do you think???


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This reminds of the "Cuse of the Asian Man" thread... Time to go gravedigging. :beaten:

bmwracer wrote:
This reminds of the "Cuse of the Asian Man" thread... Time to go gravedigging. :beaten:

That guy must think his wife is an idiot. "They just want to be friends." B*tch please....

yeah friends in bed.

Here's the link: http://jdorama.com/viewtopic.4315.0.htm

Though the article at the top of page one appears to be gone. :sweat:

lol.
The video that was posted in it was hilarious. :hehe:

Tu_triky wrote:

Hurry!

If that wife thinks her husband isn't get busy on the side....she must be crazy.

Bored housewife, eh? :naughty: :beaten:

Tu_triky wrote:


That guy must think his wife is an idiot. "They just want to be friends." B*tch please....

yeah friends in bed.

He just wants to learn kimochi and iku in different dialects. :hehe:

tabana wrote:lol.
The video that was posted in it was hilarious. :hehe:

Where?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5847984513475560733

tabana wrote:http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5847984513475560733

Ack, 'net connection at work sucks... I'll have to check it out when I get home. :grumble:

tabana wrote:
He just wants to learn kimochi and iku in different dialects. :hehe:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

tabana wrote:Yeah... In the past, I had a few younger coworkers who tried to date the boss's daughters. (He has 4 between 19~24). They all got fired less than a month after he found out. Even one got pregnant. When he heard then news, he punched a few holes in his office walls every hour or so for a week. :sweat:

We had sort of the opposite here. The boss's daughter's boyfriend started working here. It was great for HIM, cos he could do as he pleased without worrying about getting the sack. Bad for us, because he was a slack-ass who did very little and got away with it :(

They are married now, and he works elsewhere ;)

qilver wrote:

online j-dorama thread, as long as B is cool with it...i am up for it...what have we all got to lose..right?

romance, or the lack of romance, can be a depressing thought actually, and it is nothing to be embarrassed about, atleast you had the courage to be open about it. I think that after not being in a relationship for so long, as i can relate...almost 3 years now of being single and clueless..lol, anyhow, after being unattached emotionally, sometimes i feel in the selfish mode, complacent, and disconnected mode. Sure i have my friends, family, but the connection, feeling level is different, quite different when on a romantic level. You almost forget what it is like. I sometimes choose to shut it out, and try not to let it get to me, by gosh how i despise and hate Valentines day!!! eck! :usuck:

i really think the lack of opportunities in my life, has to start with me, and within....do i make time? do i take risks? do i even care anymore, or do i want pure convenience...because i am beginning to think love is all about work, effort and more work to just try to have a chance to find someone, even somewhat intriqued of what i have to offer, believe me i dealt with online dating, and honestly, it was fun, yet frustrating at the same time, when ultimately, i want to re-enter a solid hopeful relationship...i guess i need to try again, and be more patient and understanding, and overall that is a challenge. I think all this can apply to others, as they re-enter the relationship game, it is exciting, but only if there is opportunity...but where the hell is that door, and why is no one knocking on the door of love?!?! lol

As amusing/interesting as it may be, I doubt that it would be a good idea to have an online jdrama thread. Too much potential for weirdos to come on board. :beaten:

And the lack of romance thing really sucks. I really miss that sort of connection with someone and I hope to find someone that I can have that with. Which is why I get so hung up on potential people. I wish I didn't get so desperate or fall for people so soon, but it's probably the loneliness which is making me do this. I'm so ashamed for being so damn pathetic. I'm probably going to regret posting this. :sweat:

As for relationships being "work," it's true, but if you truly love a person, then it's worth it. But like you, after being single for so long, it's going to be hard to get out of this selfish mode. Eh, I guess for the right person, I'm willing to sacrifice stuff though.

bmwracer wrote:
Gomen, cori... I just got the feeling from the earlier posts that your mentor guy was just a toy to fall back on when there was no one else available...

In a sense, he was kind of like a "backup" when things didn't go wrong with someone. He gave me advice and lifted my spirits whenever I got down about someone else. But because I got too involved with this recent guy, I guess everything changed. I regret it and yet I don't because if I didn't go out with the recent guy, I know I'd always wonder about things and do the "what if" crap.

cori wrote:

In a sense, he was kind of like a "backup" when things didn't go wrong with someone. He gave me advice and lifted my spirits whenever I got down about someone else. But because I got too involved with this recent guy, I guess everything changed. I regret it and yet I don't because if I didn't go out with the recent guy, I know I'd always wonder about things and do the "what if" crap.

This is true. If you don't try, how are you going to know if someone is compatible with you or not?

cori wrote: I wish I didn't get so desperate or fall for people so soon, but it's probably the loneliness which is making me do this. I'm so ashamed for being so damn pathetic.

You're lonely 'cause you don't post enough here. :beaten:

cori wrote:

In a sense, he was kind of like a "backup" when things didn't go wrong with someone. He gave me advice and lifted my spirits whenever I got down about someone else. But because I got too involved with this recent guy, I guess everything changed. I regret it and yet I don't because if I didn't go out with the recent guy, I know I'd always wonder about things and do the "what if" crap.

yeah, very true...the what if's....if we don't chance it, we'd never know...but it is always nice to have that someone that is here for us, atleast on an emotional level to provide us some stability. I think since i have no one, i have to provide that for myself, and get too self relient, and my mind tends to wander...i think being alone too long, cause me to become somewhat anti-social, except with my family, and a few friends. In terms of meeting new people, i guess i am open to it, but saying one thing, but doing it is another. I guess i get complacent, but i know i have to take some risks to grow and have a chance. I do admit, motivation, and encouragement go hand in hand, and you definitely need both to re-enter the dating scene. I don't like to view it as interviewing, personal interviewing is somewhat tougher than job interviewing...except you won't get paid if you get hired, or hook up...lol :beaten: :hehe:

cori wrote: it's probably the loneliness which is making me do this.

My mom has been alone since my dad passed eight years ago and all she does is freaking drone about it.... Yet when family trips or events come up and she's invited, she never goes, then whines about everyone abandoning her. :shakehead:

You just have to keep yourself busy and not dwell on it.

If you don't do anything to change your situation, deal with it, move on, and try to extract some joy in your life, be it travel, food, being online, whatever...... :victory:

cori wrote:Haha, not really side dish. :P I've known him for almost 2 years, but we mostly talk on the phone and he gives me advice and stuff. He's kind of more like a mentor, but we've gotten involved on a handful of occasions. It just sucks that I threw that part of the relationship away for a temporary thing with no guarrantees. :shamefulcry:

No worries! You took a risk and usually impulses are GOOD, so I wouldn't beat myself up about it.

I don't find any of your posts embarassing. Sometimes I find myself feeling those exact feelings. Sometimes I wish for companionship. But as someone in this forum pointed out to me, somtimes it's best to just wait it out. If it's meant to be, it'll be.

About your "backup" friend, why is age always an issue? And mebbe the reason why things "changed" this time was because your backup got tired of being the backup. You say that he's always there to lift your spirtis, etc., so it sounds like you're always taking from him, but rarely giving back. And now he's tired of it. I know I would be. I'm not saying your made the wrong choice, but perhaps your backup feels used. Why else would he turn you away?

I think what Q said about "finding" yourself and getting to know yourself is key. If you feel pathetic about these thoughts, then mebbe you're not being honest with yourself. I find your posts encouraging because they're so real and raw, and you shouldn't feel ashamed or embarassed. This is who you are, and everyone else should learn to live with it, non?

I'm a loner, and I prolly always will be, and I have no confidence whatsoever when it comes to the opposite sex. So I totally understand what you're feeling, although I do find that you have a brighter head on your shoulders. I can't offer advice, but I will say that you're not alone. Hang in there. There's always tomorrow.

I just realized that whenever toshi-kun enters a thread, food pops up. :hehe:

Wynter wrote:About your "backup" friend, why is age always an issue? And mebbe the reason why things "changed" this time was because your backup got tired of being the backup. You say that he's always there to lift your spirtis, etc., so it sounds like you're always taking from him, but rarely giving back. And now he's tired of it. I know I would be. I'm not saying your made the wrong choice, but perhaps your backup feels used. Why else would he turn you away?

Well said... I'd tend to agree with that.... :victory:

Still, I think the men of Canada and Hawaii need to get their act together... all these great, available women out there being ignored... :mrgreen: